Painful Love (MC fanfiction)

21 | Confess or Depress?

ASHLEY'S POV

When I was younger, I never believed boys really did have cooties. I just stayed away from them because I never wanted to get influenced in all this love shit. I dated one girl, but both of us never admitted we were dating. We did it over this sheet of paper we passed to each other during class, and she never spoke a word to me after I told her I liked her. She just wrote 'So I'm your girlfriend.' and I sent her a smiley face back. I looked up at her but she didn't pay attention to me, she just focused on the teacher.

It lasted for about three or five days before her mother talked to my mother about how being gay was wrong and that I was sexually harassing her daughter. The thing is, I was a little bit advanced. I knew bigger words and terms at such a young age, which is why I'm a grade higher now. I cringed at the words she used and the lies she told my mother right to her face in front of me.

I tried explaining it to my mother but she never wanted to hear a word of it. So this gave me a very, very bad impression on boyfriends or girlfriends or being in a romantic relationship. I never wanted to have one until I was done with school, employed, has a home, has car and have a stable source of income, I'd go looking for one. Then I'd marry him or her and live my life as a happy and successful woman.

But it all came crashing down because now, I'm standing right in front of Michael's door, debating if I should ring the doorbell or not.

I decided on knocking because ringing the doorbell would give away that I've been standing here, looking anywhere else but the door to avoid getting in too early. The bell was hidden beneath a hanging flyer. The wind blew and I caught just a slight glimpse of it, therefore ringing the doorbell would give it all away.

Before my knuckles could come down in harsh contact with the door, it pulled open and I was breathless from the shock it gave me.

"Why didn't you just ring the doorbell?" He asked.

"Oh, u-uh.. I-I.." Ugh, why did I have to stutter?

"You-you?" He mimicked.

"Oh, shut up. Just let me in." I said.

I wasn't sure how to feel about me and Michael. I felt like just jumping on his lap, kissing him and showing how passionate I was about him and how much I love him. But at the very mention of the word 'love', I think back to yesterday.

"What do you know about love?"

His voice was as clear as day in my mind. But what confused me more was why was Michael the first thought that came to mind?

I missed his voice. I missed his lips. I missed his eyes. I missed his scent. I missed his presence. I missed how he would walk past me and drown me with happiness. I missed his happy vibe. I missed his hair. I missed the feeling of his skin against my skin. I miss him. Oh God, I missed him.

I walked down the hallway and he lead me up to his room. My nose was instantly filled with his scent and I felt like cuddling myself in a heap of his clothes, sniffing like a drug dealer after a year of prison.

"So, what made you swing by?" He casually asked, sitting down on his bed and patting the spot beside him. I took that as an invitation and sat down next to him. I let out an extremely heavy sigh, shoulders slumping and head hanging low.

"I'm gonna ask you a personal question." I said. Not even giving him time to respond, I opened my mouth repeatedly, only to shut it back up a few seconds later. I didn't know how to word it. So I just quoted Ashton. "What do you know about love?"

"I know that love can be complicating at times, but it brings you the best joy in the world. I know that love is a blessing. Some say love is a river that leads your soul to bleed. I say love is this feelings that hangs around in your heart like a tumor of a cancer patient. It's when you get it, and you can't help it. Then, when you get it, it becomes bigger and bigger and bigger and it could either get better and better or worse. It has no cure, and you're forced to live with it. I think love is one of the joys of the world. But every good thing comes with a bad thing, right? I feel like love is something I'm familiar with. But what scares me most is..." He paused, opening and closing his mouth like I did before.