Painful Love (MC fanfiction)

14 | Confusion

ASHLEY'S POV

I slammed the door to my house shut, creating a thunderous sound. I let out all my sobs. I leaned myself against the door but I was too weak to hold myself up so I ended up sliding down to the floor.

"Ashley! How many times have I told you not to slam th- Oh my God, Ashley?!" I heard my mother's voice.

"Mum..." I whimpered. She dropped next to me and held me tight in her arms.

"What happened, baby?" She asked softly, rubbing my upper arm.

"I-i-it's M-Michael..." I stuttered. "Th-that f-f-fucktard!"

"Calm down, honey." She said, stroking my hair softly.

"Th-that f-fucking piece of sh-shit!" I cursed.

"Now, now, honey. Let it all out." She spoke quietly into my ear.

"It h-hurts..." I sobbed loudly. "My heart hurts..."

"That's what happens when you love someone, Ash." She chuckled. "Love hurts like a bitch, but it also brings you the best joys in life."

"I don't wanna love anymore." I cried into her chest.

"But that's the thing." She smiled at me. "You don't wanna love someone, but love controls you. It forces you to. It brings such pain, but it brings a shitload of happiness as well."

I knew she was talking about past experiences. She's told me the story of her and Dad only once before because it brought her to tears just thinking of it. I remembered it because my mother rarely cries. And when she does, I know it's serious.

"B-but, mum..." I started. "I don't love him. I don't."

"You do, hun." She gave me a sympathetic smile, a tear leaking from her eye. "If not, you wouldn't be crying."

"But I'm crying out of anger." I tried to reason.

"No, you're pouring out your love." She corrected. "Deny it all you want, I don't care. But I am your mother, I know you better than you know yourself. You wouldn't cry. My baby girl is so much more stronger than this. So how can one silly boy make you cry this hard? And I've had many experiences of love. Your Dad was my first love and my last. See, I've gone through everything you're going to go through soon. It's one crazy ass rollercoaster, but it's a fun ride. And I learned to enjoy it while it lasts."

"Thank you so much, mommy." I accidentally slipped out. I leaned up and kissed her. "I love you."

"I love you, too." She looked into my eyes. Her tears started free-falling and I couldn't bear seeing my mother cry so I looked away. She kissed my forehead. "Get some rest. Sleep it off."

<><><>

"Ashley?" Someone called, shaking me.

I had cried myself to sleep last night. My whole bed looked like a supermarket after a tsunami. Water (tears) , chocolates, snacks, tissues, my laptop, my phone and DVDs surrounding me as I was curled in a fetal position in my bed.

"Five more minutes..." I whined, burying my face into my pillow more.

A male chuckled. "You have to wake up."

My eyes shot open. I saw Calum.

"Calum? What are you doing here?" I sat up. I wasn't mad at Calum, he was also heartbroken like me. It was him, that son of a bitch, that I was mad at. I looked at the alarm clock next to my bed. It was 3:16AM. "At 3 in the morning?"

"I wanted to say sorry." He said, sitting on the foot bed.

"For what?"

"For everything." He sighed heavily.