Painful Love (MC fanfiction)

9 | Bi?

MICHAEL'S POV

I slammed my bedroom door shut so hard, I'm surprised it didn't pop off its hinges.

I plopped face down onto my bed and my face buried into my pillow. I sobbed. Hard. I made myself cry everything out. All my pain, frustration, sadness, everything. I just cried. I cried and I cried and I cried until an hour passed by.

I was noe in a fetal position. I cried until I couldn't cry anymore. I just stared at the wall as I stayed as still as possible. A knock on the door startled me, I almost screamed.

"Mikey?" A male voice said. Before I could answer, three boys swarmed my room. I knew who they were just by smelling the air. Luke, Ashton and Calum.

"Michael, what happened?" Luke asked, lying next to me and stroking my hair softly. He was like my mother when times like these came around. Which was rare. We started spooning, me being the small spoon.

"I walked in on her." My voice was croaky and stuffed. I cleared my throoat and coughed a bit. "She was about to go at it with Emily."

"Oh, no." He said softly, nuzzling his face into my neck. His forehead was warm and it rested against my neck, which calmed me down a lot.

"It's okay." I lied.

"Oh, really? Michael Clifford cried for hours because he walked in on a girl with another girl and nah, it's okay." He spoke sarcastically.

"Look, I don't wanna talk about it right now. I just wanna cry and play video games." I whined.

"Then come over to mine, we can play Fifa. It'll definitely distract you." He said. Every word he spoke, the breath from his mouth brushed against the skin on my neck. It was calming and comforting. I shut my eyes and savored the moment.

"Okay." I sniffled. I slowly got up and he followed right after. He patted my back and wrapped his arm around my waist. I rested my head on his broad shoulder and exhaled through my nose.

"Fifa or COD?" He suggested.

"Uhm... I don't really mind." I sighed. We exited my house and I sat in his father's car. Ashton got into the driver's seat.

"We're going to the band house, by the way." Ashton said, speeding off of my driveway.

<><><>

"And I snatched the note, threw the rose and stormed off." I storied, nodding right after. "GOAL!!"

"FUCK!" Luke screamed. "Wait, so did she read the note?"

I shook my head. "I don't think so. FREE KICK!"

"AGH, DAMMIT!" He screamed when he didn't goal it. "So she will never know what it says?"

"No, and I made sure she saw it." I smirked at my brutally evil actions. "RED CARD, DUDE!"

"WHAT? I DIDN'T EVEN KICK YOU. I WANTED TO KICK THE BALL, LOSER!" He defended. "So what are you gonna do now?"

"RED CARD! YES!" I screamed in victory. "I'm just gonna keep it. Throw it, maybe. Turn it into a good song. I don't know."

"FUCK THIS." He groaned in frustration, gripping his blonde hair. "What does the note even say?"

I took a deep breath. "Dear Ashley, it's Michael...

I just really wanted to say that... I'm honestly very confused. I'm gay. Or at least I think I am. I'm supposed to be gay. I liked Ashton. I like Zac Efron, for God's sake. But then you show up in your cute little outfit and dyed hair and I felt like I fell into a pit of love.

Then you started dressing up more. I realized that you're way out of my league. I know that. I SEE that. I'm trying so hard to get your attention but I can't. When Ashton told us what he knew abou you, I just admired you more and more. When we were in the car on the way to dinner and I learned that we have very similar music taste, I felt like you were perfect wife material.

Then it was actually dinner. I saw the way you ate. No, I'm no stalker, I swear. You're just very enticing and appealing. You ate like a cow. And I loved that. You weren't afraid. You were just being you. Raw, beautiful, intruiging, beautiful YOU. You weren't afraid what we would say. And you just met us. It showed character strength. I find that amazingly gorgeous.

Then I started observing you. Not stalking, haha. I was starting to realize that this isn't a simple crush. It wasn't a stupid high school crush. Nor was it a like kind of situation. I love you. It might seem crazy, I know. It is, actually.

But then again, I've never been in love. I don't know how it feels. It's just that, I've had a crush before, and I've liked someone before. But when it comes to you, it's... different.

I don't know how to explain it. I just am mesmerized by you and I feel like I just wanna marry you and live with you. I haven't thought that far into life yet.

The other day, I pushed you and was a complete douchebag to you. Calum told me you were dating someone else yet you threw yourself at me. He told me I'll break your heart if I make you like me and I continue liking you. He said you'll break up for me, which will hurt you. Or you'll cheat, which (obviously) is worse. I am honestly trying to surpress my feelings, but with you over almost everyday, they only grow stronger and more intense.

Oh. You are dating someone. You're dating that Emily girl. See, she's beautiful as well. You get those kind of people. Then comes me, the social outcast. Band nerd. Or, the way I prefer it, band geek.

I'm sorry, but I'm hopelessly in love with you. I'm not so sure, but I think I am. I almost know I am, but I can't really tell. But then you're dating a girl. Which means you're gay. I'm a guy, sadly.

My first love. I never knew my first love could break my heart the worst. It hurts. But then again, love is unstoppable. I can't really do anything about it. It's just gonna be there. Forever and always.

Love,
Michael.

•••••••••••••••

BONUS

I stared at the floor, feeling the tears well up in my eyes.

"Uhm, you do know she could be bi, right?" Luke broke me out of my train of thought.

"Bi?"

••••••••••

Yeah. That outfit comes handy in the next chapter. But there will also be another outfit, because she'll be going out ;)

Third update today bc why not rite

The nore the bestterpeaufb

Whoa
Wowzerz

Okay I'm done with my own weirdness

PHAN TIME

BYE GUYS

20th December 2015
7:37PM