Feeling Blue

Feeling blue chapter 5

I was walking quickly amongst the students to the front gates of the school. I'd never been this side of school as before the bus coming from my old house would drop us off at the back as there was more room for more than one bus.

I go to an all girls Catholic state school you see, called St. Marley's. My dad was drawn  to this kind of school because a. the whole religious school idea as he thought it would support us and help us become good people. And b. to the whole single sex schooling system for Leo as his school were very strict and apparently that was what he needed, according to dad 'a kick up the backside' which has served him well as he is going to university.

To me this was strange as I didn't need a 'kick up the backside' nor would I get distracted by the opposite sex. To be honest I didn't get the chance too. The all boys school was around the corner and lots of the students from both sets of schools would walk up the road together. There are positives about going to an all girls school; equal opportunities, yes! Freedom from stereotypes, definitely! But of course there are negativity especially from the all boys school, some call us names such as 'bunch of Lezzars.' You get the idea!

I felt nervous as I had a moment of panic because I thought I left some of my history revision on the boxes in my bedroom. I took my rucksack off and searched inside, the more I searched the lower I went, until I was practically kneeling on the floor. I eventually found my flash cards at the bottom of my bag. Meanwhile, everyone else was tripping over me while they were talking, on their phones or both!  That has been the worse bit about year 11 simply moments of panic that I've forgotten something and that exams are coming really quickly. I was really worried about my application for college not being accepted but now I have been invited for an open day. Things were starting to look up!

The reason why I was worried was because my school already has a sixth form but I wanted somewhere a bit different. I wanted to step away from the religious side and decide for myself who I wanted to be. Also, my friend Jess was also attending the open day at Roundtree as her place was confirmed a few months ago. However, my friend Skye was going to stay on at the sixth form. It was hard to accept at first but Skye thought it would be wise to stay somewhere which was familiar. Meaning her parents wanted her to stay. Jess wanted the same routine and familiarity but, Jess too decided the step away as the sixth form didn't have the course that she wanted to do. Jess has Asperger's, meaning she struggles with change, social situations and regulating sensory stimulation in her environment. Only getting diagnosed a few years ago, Jess got supported but it was suggested that she went to a college which had some idea of how to make her more independent as well giving her a challenge. She was unsure at first but as I signed up as well she went through with it.

I kept it a secret from Dad and Marina because they expected me to go to the sixth form like Leo, but his was the all boys school sixth form. Leo preformed well in his A levels but was able to wing it! The sixth form at my school didn't have a good Ofsted rating and I didn't want Jess to go through it on her own. It's a scary time as it is! Yet alone not knowing anyone.

I was putting everything back in my bag that I have taken out for the search. Then I noticed that my invitation was lying on the floor soaking up the rain water. I scooped it up and tried not to tear it. I could just read the time and place of meeting.
I stood up slowly to avoid damaging my invitation and right in front of me leaning against the open gate was Josh. His wide blue eyes staring and following my every move. I have known Josh since primary school and he has been giving me unwanted attention since then. He goes to the all boys school around the corner but sadly I couldn't keep him away! His ginger hair was pinned back into a bun which looked slightly odd and his black tie looked wonky. His invitations to school dances at his school, Valentine's Day cards and presents have been endless.