Feeling Blue

Chapter 25

After dinner I helped put all the dirty plates and glasses into the dishwasher. All I could think of was the speech, how could I open and present it. Dad went back into his study by the stairs as I passed him to go up to my room. He never said a word to me, a bit rude I believe!   

I ran quickly up the stairs as my room was the first on the right from the narrow stairs. I closed my door with all my weight behind it to shut it tight. I glared all around my bedroom however,  my room was very cluttered and untidy,  I couldn't exactly work on a speech with a cluttered desk could I?

Socks that were weeks old and clothes that were dumped to be never seen again until I have a massive tidy up were all over the floor. I put my bedside lamp on and started cleaning up my socks all over the floor. My rucksack from my run away was dumped over the bed cover which was not made, which needed a good wash. While I was clearing up my gaff, I tried to think of my speech and wrote down my ideas which popped into my head. All I came up with was, Leo was my brother and how he protected me as a child. We both stuck together however, we annoyed each other nothing could spilt us. He told me the truth that no adult dared too like when I started secondary school, he told me what teachers to avoid and what teachers to keep a close eye on. Just for a laugh. 

It was the beginning and it wasn't the best. I sat at my desk on my swingy office chair trying to call Jess on Skype. It took a few attempts to get her attention that I am calling. How I knew this was because she was posting doctor who quotes on Facebook via her tablet. It didn't take a genius to work that out. When she finally picked up, neither a hello or hi just Jess with her black rimed glasses, reflexing the Facebook screen. She used to use her mum's without her knowing because her mum never used it; plus she wasn't allowed it until she turned fourteen. I got mine when I was thirteen. But, since her Mum and Dad allowed her own account she been addicted ever since.

'Jess, Jess!' I kept calling and my voice kept echoing through the webcam. 'Jess can you hear me?' I kept asking with no reply, it was like talking to a brick wall. Was she actually ignoring me? What was the point answering if you weren't going to talk, it's pathetic! We could of chatted through text but, it was a speech and I was stuck on it badly. I needed my geek friend to help me on this one. All those books she read needed to be used to make this speech inspiring. Then, I decided to carry on with my bedroom while I heard my voice echo through the webcam.

When my room was almost tidy and I had enough, I closed the Skype call to Jess down and recalled her. She answered first time and gave a delightful 'hello,' she starred right into the camera of her iPad. 'Hello Jess, would you help me with something?' She starred right at me. Her green eyes glowed through the camera. 'If it is homework then no! I've done your maths homework for the last six months Clara. Your teacher will get very spurious.' Jess was still on Facebook while she kept rambling on. 'Actually Jess, no it isn't my homework you see. It's basically a family situation and I need your help!' I explained. 'Go on,' she gave a relaxed look and sat back on her bed while starring with her green eyes right into the camera. 'The reason why I wasn't in school today was because Leo died and the police came over yesterday after school to say about his death,' she looked surprised, she also looked puzzled. 'I blamed myself for his death and Marina was trying to change the subject. Then I said that she only married Dad to have children, she was offended and chucked me out.' As I was continuing Jess playing with her blonde hair tried to play Sherlock. 'Wait, Leo died and you blame yourself whatever did you do Clara?' She asked me reaching for her bookcase be hide her bed for her Sherlock collection.

'No detective will be able to solve this one Jess. I said that to Marina because she was trying to comfort me. I cut myself Jess! It was the only way through my anger and hating myself at that time.' Jess buried her head in her hands. 'Clara.... Clara.... where did you cut yourself?' She asked me still with her head in her hands. Her voice was barely heard. I definitely heard the Clara bit. 'On my right arm.' She immodestly looked up. 'How deep?' She shouted, starring at me.