Feeling Blue

chapter 30~ stand by me

This is a working process. My boyfriend and best mate talking to me like it long time no see. 'Seriously Clara, we need to go out into town more.' Says Jess.

'I will join you.' Josh butted in.

'The more the merrier. ' I said to crack up a joke.

'Right guys, I'm doing dinner tonight so you guys staying?' Dad asked. 'Josie are we?' Josh asked.

'Yeah, why not?' Mum answered. She looked in her mirror and winked at me. I turned immediately and looked at Jess. 'Jess? Are you coming?' I ask her. 'Yeah. I will phone my mum to tell her.' Jess unlocked her phone with her wallpaper of the amazon box who I call mortian, don't ask why! She looked through her social media then, pressed her mum's name on the contacts.

Hang on. If dad is in a good mood then things are ok? Right? Has mum and Marina made up? Because that is god damn is on Dad's wishlist. Marina hates mum if you have not noticed, the cat fights and bitter usages of language towards each other. Marina treats me like her own daughter ever since she became Dad's girlfriend. At one point I thought she was my actual mum,  it was until Dad told me she wasn't. That was when I was either five or six. I was eleven when they got married.

However, mum is of course my mum. I've got to look up to her and support her in whatever choice she makes. Like marrying Taylor, I think she made the right choice there. I got to take into consideration, that she left us when I was four. She left dad to bring up Leo and I and that wasn't a easy job. But she back and I think she back for good!

We got home. Well home until I can actually get up the stairs. Dad and mum stood either side of me in case I fell off my cuchers. We went through into the livingroom and I sat down on the leather sofa. Both Josh and Jess sat either side of me. Marina's gnome with pink hair and glowing green eyes was glaring at me. Basically, it was annoying all three of us. I can understand why Leo got annoyed and tried to chuck it out five times, flushed it down the toilet twice and been thrown in Marina's mum's pond eight times to see go in misery. I was in on it also as freaked both of us out but, Leo just hated the sight of the poor guy. It always seemed to come crawling back for some strange reason.

So the three of us went upstairs. Josh and Jess helped me up the stairs, while dad, mum and Marina were in the kitchen. No arguments, no bitter conversations just talking about when Leo and I when we were little. Going up the stairs slowly made me mostly hear it all but also, think about what they are saying and sort of making a argument in my head of the mum and Marina debate.

We got to my bedroom, I sat on my bed while Jess and Josh had a little look around.

'Josh,' I called.

'Yes Clara?' He answered.

'What's happening about the wedding?' I ask in curiously.

'Never you mind. As long as you're are on mend Clara.' He said to me and gave me a quick hug. Hugging Josh was the best feeling ever. Like so many times before Josh's hugs make me feel safe and secure. 

Jess looked through my DVD's that were in a weird order on my DVD wrack. I don't really watch DVD's only on sleepovers ect. Jess looked through her big lens glasses to find a good DVD we could watch. Meanwhile, Josh was sitting on my made bed next to me. He was glaring into mine and I was too also watching Jess to see if she doesn't actually break my wrack.

Then Josh and I got closer and closer to find our lips were lictually meeting. That was the longest kiss I ever experienced. He smiled and shredded his fingers through his thick hair to add volume. 'Don't worry Clara, your a fighter and you will be back on your feet soon. We will enjoy the days we have together and it will always be Clara and Josh vs the world.' He whispered in my ear then, I gave him another hug.

'Guys, please get a room! I've got a DVD we could all watch. Bridget Jones' diary.' Jess said in excitement.

I looked at Josh while he was glaring at Jess. His glare at Jess meant what the fuck is this film. 'Come on Josh it a lovely film and has a happy ending.' I explained. 

'Is it one of those loveydovey story which has no relate to reality what so ever?'

Dad called from downstairs to say dinner was ready, Josh and Jess rushed out my room down the stairs leaving me basically. I got off my bed and hopped to the stairs. On the way I looked on my left which was Leo's room and in there was mum hugging a photo.  I hopped inside on my cuchers. Mum immediately looked around and put the picture back. 'Mum it ok. Hug all you want.' I said to brighten up the mood. A few tears came parachuting down her face. I hopped to Leo's bed and sat on it, mum joined me. 'I can't believe he's... gone.' Mum said studding the words. 'Mum we won't believe it.' I said to comfort her. 'But, we will never look back!' She hugged me and thid one felt a lot better!