Feeling Blue

Feeling Blue~Chapter 21

Heyo readers of Wattpad,

I would like to thank all my readers of this book. Nearly at 1000 reads, we got to keep going. Keep coming up with the ideas and stuff because they are lictually amazing! Some of this story is revealed in Guilty Hearts, that's the problem starting the story without even finishing your other book. It's annoying.

This chapter will be long but, will include lots of detail about Clara continuing to fight to get her life pieced together again. Hope you Love!

Karie xoxox

I woke up on my own on Josh's bed, his side of the bed was empty and the covers were over. I looked at his football alarm clock, that had a digital time of 09:34. Today was even school! Why didn't Josh wake me up? The window was open and the draft came in from behide the curtains. I sat up and looked around the room. Josh had posters of rock bands and girls all around his room. Now this was defiantly a teen boys room. 

I got out from bed and opened the curtains. The view was hysterical of the city. The sun shown bright and straight onto the city centre. That dream last night changed me. I saw my past all at once. Leo was right, I was a selfish person who needed to put thing right with my family and friends. I stepped back from the window and put my clothes on. A Apocalyptica T-shirt and green skinny jeans. I worn that yesterday when I stormed out. I put some of his aftershave on. It just smelt nice okay?

I wondered in the hall and into the living room and saw Mum smoking out the window. She was wearing a dressing gown well, the same one she worn last night. 'Hello Mum.' I said from a distance from her. She turned around. 'Oh, hello Clara. Did you sleep well?' She asked me. She dumped her cigarette butt in the ash tray on the mantel piece. 'Yeah. Just Josh didn't wake me for school.' I said while following her around the flat to the kitchen. 'Well, Clara, you needed a lie in because of what has happened. I couldn't send you to school when you have just lost your brother. Leo did go to that school right?' She asked me. Does she not know what school her oldest son goes to. 16 of course he will be at the same school as me. 'Yes Mum he did. But, I need to put things right at school. Get over that the fact that I have lost my brother and need to get on with life.' I explained to her.

'Clara, you will never get over that you have lost your brother very young. Anyway, what are these things you need to put right? You need to think about Leo and how to send him off in how he wanted to be sent off. This can not go away!'  She said while getting a glass from the cupboard and then going to the fridge and getting some nice, fresh orange juice. 'It's nothing really. I just got to face the facts and realise that Leo is gone. Yeah your right Leo would want me to get on with life.' I sort of lied. If I said that I fell out with Skye. Mum would not know who Skye is. 'Clara, the best thing now is to go back to where you belong.' Where I belong? She makes me sound like some sort of animal needing re-homing. 'Where I belong is with you, Josh and Taylor don't I?' I explained. Why can't I do what Sam in my tutor does. His parents have spilt up and he stays with his mum on the weekdays and his dad at weekends. I don't really understand this. 'No, Clara your Dad loves you and he the one that has brought you up not me! He knows what you like and dislike. He also got a family who also love you. You got Marina who is well, very opiated but also loves you very much and you have a little brother who looks up to you. Clara you have nothing here. I will always love you but, your Dad place is the one where you call home!' Trying to take this all in was very difficult.

'I understand mum. Just will you always be here for me?' I ask her. It not like your own mother is going to give up on you. I don't really want to go on long lost family or anything, so this better work. 'Of course darling I will be here in this very flat with Taylor and Josh and you can come whenever you want and I will try and sort something with your Dad for you to see us sometime in a week. But, your home is with your Dad, Marina and Joseph.'  She did have a point.