Feeling Blue

feeling blue! part 2

(7:20pm) Leo this, Leo that was all in my head! I lost someone who understood me and who accepted who I was. I just starred at the wardrobe in horror. How could he be snatched from his family and friends like that. It just didn't link up. Just lying on my bed in floods of tears, I just knew it was all my fault. Nothing made any sense. I was all curled up on my bed thinking of my next move. How could I move on?

I heard a knock at my bedroom door. I didn't answer as I didn't feel like talking. 'Clara are you there love?' Marina asked through the door. I didn't answer. I just throw head onto my pillow, face down. Marina just walked in. She sat right next to me. 'Clara, we have to make do and carry on where we left off. Leo gone and we are all very upset.' I looked up at her and gave her a glare.

'Do you have any idea what I'm going through?' I snapped at her. I just lay back down and didn't want to say anymore! 'Clara look, I know you and Leo were close but, you got to be positive and look forward' Was she trying to understand me? It isn't working! Without thinking I shouted out, 'It all my fault!' Marina gave a very shocked look. I burst into tears. 'Clara, your just in shock!' She tried to explain thinking I was mad or something.  'No, I'm not! Leo dying is all my fault. All my bad luck roled into one. I'm the one cursed and it had a massive affect on the family!' Marina had her confused face on. Was she actually believing me? 'Clara don't be silly. Your not cursed, just a bit of bad luck that's all.' She might think I'm nuts or out of my mind. Confused. 'You call the time I've had bad luck!' I shouted at her not meaning too.'Clara whats been going on?' She asked with one eyebrow lifted. Was it now time to confess my blueness?

'Do you really want me to tell you?' I asked her while, wiping my left eye with my hand. 'Clara, I need to know otherwise I can't help you. You might do something stupid.' I turned away. I wouldn't even tell Jess. Well, now I had no choice but, to tell her. 'Ok, just everything came at once. Like moving home, meeting my mum again in ten years. There was more to come, bad luck. I just panicked and things came from bad to worse. ' Marina was really confused and didn't get it.

'Clara what did you do in consequence?' Marina asked as she knew I did something stupid. 'I...., I...., cut myself. It was an accident I swear! I was just angry and frustrated with myself.' Marina appeared horrified with my actions. 'Clara, why on earth would you do that. You should of thought before acted. You could of lost a hell of blood by doing that.' She folded her arms and gave a almighty glare.

'I knew you wouldn't understand me! No one ever does!' Marina went bright red. she was angry alright. 'Clara, that isn't true. Your very depressed and anxious. Me and your Dad understand you and your problems and we love you very much!' No they don't. Well, Dad doesn't, he just has a go at me. That isn't fair. 'Well, explain why Dad got pissed off with me then? He was the one who made me cut myself!' I shout at her. She doesn't know what I'm actually through. She lived a happy childhood in Australia. Her mum and Dad spilt up and her brother went to live with him while, she stayed with her mum. When Marina moved to England her mum came with her. She hasn't seen death or broke up with a boyfriend because she didn't get one till she was fifteen. So, she can't judge.  'Don't use that language Clara!' Forgot she doesn't like swearing. She finds it offensive.  'Go on explain why then.'

'Clara, we are trying to understand you and we are both sick and tried of your attitude!' Now she was really pissed off with me. What attitude? I bloody don't have one. 'What? Are you there to judge me? Your not understanding me. You make me look like a complete idiot. You don't love me, your not my actual mum!' She grabbed me by the hand and got me to my feet. 'Clara, haven't you noticed your Dad and I try very hard to put a roof over your head and put food on the table. We love you but, you throw it back in our face!' I do care just I am really annoyed with her. All she says is me and your Dad do this and do that!

'You only married Dad to have children!' That was a bit too much there. I've done it now and I'm in for it! 'Clara May Andrews get out of my house! If you think like that. Carry on all I care. I can really tell you don't feel loved and you don't appreciate anything.' She storms out of the room. 'FINE! by me. I will pack and find somewhere else to live!'

I grab a rucksack from the top of my wardrobe and start piling it with clothes and toilet stuff. As soon as I was finished, I took one more look around my room and tip toed out of my room. I knew Joseph was in bed. At the same speed down the stairs and to the front door. Marina and Dad were in the living room talking about my behaviour. I opened the door and stepped into the cold. Marina told me to leave and that what I did. Stepping into the big wide world where every living creature has to defend for itself. It was a weight off my shoulders that told someone but, not in a good way. Will they let me return?

Hi Readers,

Well, yes it the second half of the story. I know for definite that it won't go on as long as the first half. Thanks to all the readers who are still into feeling blue. Please keep reading and voting it means the world to me. Please keep recommending my book and help get more reads. I thank you for your deeds. Also, keep on with the ideas and stuff for any of my books I really appreciate it. So, keep reading, voting and commenting my books!

Love you all.

Karie xoxoxo

(MunchmalToblerone)