Secondhand Girlfriend

.06

It took me two days to process that information. Two days I spent listening to Drake, and eating cookies as I thought about it. After she told me, all of my emotions just collided and I didn't say anything. The thing that killed me though, isn't that she dated Maurice (although it still does hurt) is that no one told me. I asked Wyatt when he saw Lisanna at the kickback, did he know he who she was and he just nodded his head.

He knew she dated Maurice, this whole time he knew, yet didn't say anything to me. But I guess I understand, it wasn't his place to tell me anything. I just wish one of them would have told me sooner, because maybe it wouldn't have hit me or effected me as much. I remember they way Maurice used to talk about her, for some reason he never used her name but it wasn't questioned either. He would talk about how beautiful she was, and how she always knew what to say to make him feel good. At first, I thought that seemed a little kiss ass-ish, but then I realised that's just something you do in a relationship.

There were times he would tell us about the dates they went on, he always took her to the best restaurants and bought her the most expensive gifts. Maurice would tell us about how well she got along with his daughter, Angel, and said she would make a great mother some day. Going on and on about how wonderful this girl was, and how crazy beautiful she was, or how smart she was. Finally one day, he actually admitted to being in love with her, and I could tell he meant it. But somehow, I got a phone call at one o'clock in the morning with a crying Maurice on the other end of it.

I had never heard him sound so broken, and god I wanted to kill whatever girl broke his heart. No matter who you are, no one truly deserves to get their heart broken to the point of no return. He cried, telling me how everything just fell apart; their love just died with neither knowing why or how it happened. That night I felt my own heart breaking for him, because he had planned on marrying this girl, he had even planned on proposing to her. Granted that she was two years younger than him, but he would propose and wait until she was old enough to go through with the whole thing. It was the ending to their book that nobody saw coming.

The love was gone, but believe me when I say he tried to get it back. Both of them tried hard to make it work again, but the more they tried, the more it left them exhausted and less willing to try anymore. It wasn't bitter, it wasn't sweet, the ending just happened and there was nothing they could do about it. For awhile he told me they would talk on the phone here and there, but then that became texts and then those became infrequent texts, until finally nothing. And to think, all of this happened damn near a year ago.

"Kal, are you sure you're okay," Fiona asks, sticking her head into my room.

"Either go back out and knock, or don't talk to me at all, you people have no respect for privacy," I say, my voice flat as I lie on my back staring up at the ceiling.

The door clicks closed, and my hand goes to play with the pendant resting on my bare chest. A small black obsidian tooth, that my mother had given me when I was eight, was always my comfort when I was in pain or stressed out. Rubbing the smooth surface, I try to focus my negative energy into the stone. My mother told me that, if I just rubbed it a little while trying to release my pain it will flow into the pendant and everything will turn out fine. And so far that has always stood true for me, because I can just feel the negativity seeping away.

My phone rings, and XO by Beyoncé fills the room, and I debate on whether or not to answer. It's not that I don't want to talk to her, because I do (the sound of her voice is literally like heaven) I just needed to clear my head. And with that thought in mind, I decide my head is clear enough and answer her call.

"Kie, I'm sorry, baby say you forgive me," Lisanna starts to plead immediately.

"I forgive you, and did you just call me baby," I smile into the phone.