Something About Him

-22-

Christopher Brown

"One of the best holidays is right around the freakin' corner," I say to Layla as we sit in the Sonic parking lot.

Niggas really love Sonic.

"I already know I'm gonna pig out tomorrow," she replies with a small laugh.

Tomorrow is Thanksgiving which means hella food and that ya boy's gonna be eating reallll good.

"Do you have a lot of family coming over?" Layla asks looking over towards me.

"Doubt it," I answer without hesitation. My dad doesn't fuck with his family that heavy and like I already said, he made my moms cut her family off, too, so we're really just this small ass, pretty much boring family.

"How come?" She asks a follow up question while still looking at me and then sips from her cup.

When we first started talking heavy and she asked me these kind of questions, I would dodge them, but now that we're actually together I feel like I can open up to her more. It's like now that she's my girlfriend, she should sort of be my go-to person to talk about this kind of stuff, but I can't do that if I don't even tell her what's going on which is why I guess I can do that now.

"My parents don't mess with their family. Neither side," I tell her. "So it's pretty much just us three."

"Sorry to hear that..." She trails off in a low tone. That let me know that she felt bad after hearing that, but I don't want her pity. I mean, I guess I could afford to have people feel bad for me, but I didn't want it. On the other hand, my parents do not deserve sympathy. It's their fault that we don't show up to family functions or have closer relationships to our extended family.

"It's cool, I guess," I shrug it off. "It's my mother and father's fault, so.."

"What do you mean by that?"

"It means exactly how it sounds," I respond. "The start of it all is that my father is like.. mad standoffish. He don't fuck with nobody. Like that nigga don't have friends, nothin'."

"Why though?"

I shake my head because I don't have an answer.

I don't know why he's so unapproachable or not friendly since he isn't like that with me, but maybe that's only cause I'm his kid.

I also don't know why he cheats on my mother and then acts like nothing happened and the reason for that may be because no one mentions it.

Everything relating my father and his logic is honestly a bunch of question marks because I just don't know and based off of how things are now.. I don't know if I ever will.

Shrugging my shoulder, I sigh. "I dunno, man."

"It, um, seems like it bothers you," she says lowly. "You don't wanna talk about it anymore or..?"

"It won't make a difference really," I grumble. "The one person I really need to talk to is him but I can't bring myself to confront him about everything that I want answers to."

"Just think about it..." Layla suggests. "Think about it a lot until you can perfect the way you think works best."

"Eh, maybe you're right," I nod my head considering what she's saying.

Of course I've thought about it but after a while, I always would stop because it'd just get me worked up and frustrated for no reason since he wasn't even in the country.

The difference between then and now though is that he's here.. I don't know how long it's going to last but now that he is actually around would most likely be the best time to bring things up.