Dark Angel // Alex Gaskarth

Chapter Three: Everything Has Fallen To Pieces

Chapter Three: Everything Has Fallen To Pieces

Song: Remembering Sunday by All Time Low ft Juliet Simms 

Trigger Warning: Self Harm

Angel.  

Second and third period went by incredibly slow. Thankfully, they were classes that held mostly juniors and freshman because they were mixed but unfortunately, my next class is filled with seniors- who most likely hate me and will make the rest of my last year at Dulaney a living hell.  

Oh, you think I'm acting like just another over dramatic teenager? Ha-ha, I fucking wish.  

I slowly walked into Ms.Yanez's class. She teaches English Literature and I've had her before. I showed Ms. Yanez my schedule before hurrying to the back of the classroom. Shortly after, the classroom began filling with familiar faces. I felt my legs begin to shake once I saw the familiar faces of Holly -typical mean girl name, right?- Jess, Lydia and Natalie. Seriously? I have to take a class with all four of them? Fuck, this year is going to be terrible.  

Holly's eyes suddenly met with mine. Her nose wrinkled in disgust, "Oh look, Dark Angel's back" She sneered as she sat on the other side of the room. Ms. Yanez was too busy talking on the phone to hear Holly's crude remark.  

I hung my head low and ignored everyone's scowls and glares. I still don't understand why everyone hates me so much. I mean, I've done nothing wrong to them. All this hate started happening after Oscar's death. Some people even blamed me for his death. They told me that the guy who fired the gun aimed it at me but missed, resulting in the gun hitting Oscar's chest.  

I don't believe them. I know that whoever fired the gun, did in fact, aim it at Oscar. I know this because Oscar was involved in some gang activities. He was respected in this school, some people even looked up to my brother. He was handsome, he was funny, he was smart, he was well respected so whoever fired that gun did it out of jealousy and hate.  

My thoughts were interrupted once I felt someone tap on my shoulder. I looked up and saw a very attractive guy looking down at me with kind eyes. "Is this seat taken?" He asked, pointing to the empty seat next to me.  

I shook my head before looking around the room. My eyebrows furrowed in confusion once I noticed that there were plenty other empty seats in the classroom. Why did this guy sit with me? Doesn't he know it's 'bad luck' to sit with me? He must be new here or something because he's the only person in the room -besides Ms. Yanez- that isn't glaring at me or whispering to their friends while looking in my direction.  

"I'm Alex Gaskarth, by the way" He smiled, extending his hand out.  

"Angel Alvarez" I whispered in response. Not wanting to be rude, I forced myself to shake his hand. This might sound strange but, it felt nice touching his hand. Wow, that did sound weird. Seriously, why is this guy sitting with me?  

For the next thirty minutes, I couldn't help but look at Alex from the corner of my eye. He's definetily attractive, the way he bites his lip when he concentrates or how he slightly sticks his tongue out when he's speaking. Yeah, he's extremely attractive.  

Before I could take my thoughts any further, I realized something.  

No one likes broken girls, no one likes girls who are afraid to stand up for themselves. No one likes girls who constantly slit their wrists. No one likes weak girls. No one likes girls who's ribcage is stick out further than their stomach. No one likes girls who constantly have their head hung low, who are afraid to even talk to their teachers in fear of rejection. No one likes girls who contemplates suicide every single fucking day.  

No one likes a sad, lonely girl who can't even look at her own mother in the eyes.  

"Hey, are you okay?" I heard Alex ask, his voice quiet in fear that Ms. Yanez might hear him.  

I simply nodded in response. At that moment, I felt like bursting into tears. Ever since Oscar died, no one has asked me if I was alright. You might think I'm joking but I'm not. Even at his funeral, all our relatives gave me nothing but a hateful expression. They all blamed me for his death and it hurt, a lot, actually.  

The sudden urge to grab my blade began to grow increasingly by the second. I glanced up at the clock and groaned quietly once I saw that there were still another thirty minutes left until class was finished. There's no way in hell I can wait that long.  

I quietly grabbed my emergency blade that I hid inside my backpack and quietly put it inside my pocket. I raised my hand and asked Ms. Yanez if I could be excused to the restroom. As soon as she said 'yes', I jumped up from my seat and quickly walked out of the bathroom.  

I practically sprinted down the hallway until I finally arrived at the girl's bathroom. I locked myself inside the closest stall to the door. I rolled up the sleeves of my black sweater, revealing all the old and new scars I had made in the past. There was hardly any space for anymore cuts but I didn't care.  

I placed the blade against my skin and let the blade slowly slid across my skin. The pain brought a sad smile up to my lips. The tiny voice inside my head was begging for me to stop but I didn't care. This, this is how I get by. It's pathetic that I practically live by the blade but I really don't give a fuck at this point. My entire existence is pathetic. When I have a problem, I immediately pick up my blade, thinking that it'll help the feeling inside me but it never does.  

Yet, I can never bring myself to put the blade away.  

I quickly washed the blood off my arm before shoving my razor back inside my pocket and slowly walking back to class.

&&&

Title Credit: Anthem Part Two by Blink-182