Dark Angel // Alex Gaskarth

Chapter Fourteen: Confrontation & Disappointment

Song: Oh, Calamity by All Time Low

Angel.  

Walking past the living room, I noticed my mother was not sitting at the couch. I didn't think to much of it, she was probably inside her bedroom or something like that. I walked into my bedroom and kept the lights shut off. Kicking off my shoes, I changed into a pair of sweatpants and a plain gray shirt before tying my hair into a messy bun.  

Even though it's only six in the afternoon, I feel completely exhausted. I didn't really do much today but stressing out over my mom finding out about my self harm really wore me out. I could definitely use some sleep right now.  

~*~ 

I woke up to the sound of quiet sobbing. I slowly opened my eyes and immediately noticed my mom was in the room. She was sitting on the edge of my bed, her head buried in her hands and I quickly realized that the quiet sobbing was coming from her.  

Sitting up on my bed, I wraped my arms around her body and pulled her into a tight hug. For a while, she just cried into my chest, her body was shaking and I bit my lip, holding back the tears that were dwelling in my eyes.

I don't know exactly what I'm feeling right now. It's the first time since Oscar's death that she's shown any emotion. I didn't see her cry, I didn't see her angry, I didn't see her smile... her face was always blank. Emotionless.  

My mother pulled away from my hold. She looked at me with hurt in her eyes, "Why?" She croaked. Her voice made me tense up. I haven't heard her voice in a while. I can honestly say that I miss it.... I miss her.  

"W-Why.... What?" I asked, acting as if I didn't know what she was talking about.  

My mother sighed, "Why are you cutting yourself, Angel? Why? Why are you hurting yourself? Don't you know how dangerous that is? I don't want to loose you either Angel. You're all I have left." She said, her voice went from a loud outside voice to a quiet, barely audible whisper.  

"You don't understand..." I whispered, looking down at my lap.  

"Angel, tell me, what don't I understand?" She asked, not seeming angry but more concerned and curious.  

"How I feel, mom. Do you know what if feels like to be alone? Like you have no one to count on? Like a disappointment? I know you're here but you're never actually here. When Oscar left.... you did too." A single tear fell down my cheek and I made no attempt to wipe it away.  

My mom sighed, "I know I haven't been the best mom lately but you have to understand Angel. Please, I promise, I'll get better. I promise just... don't hurt yourself anymore. The only reason I'm still here is because of you. I don't want to leave without knowing your going to be okay, Angel. That's why I'm still fighting. That's why I'm still alive."  

I looked down at my mother with tears falling from my eyes. I wanted to say something- anything but it seemed as if the words were gone from me. As if I had lost my own voice. I didn't know how to form words or how to even respond to her. All I wanted to do was hold her close and tell her I'm sorry for putting her in pain.  

Mom sat up, she looked at me with a serious expression. "Angel, I swear, I will get better but please, don't hurt yourself anymore, okay? Please, do it for me. I'll start talking more, I'll go out more, I'll even try to go back to work but please, don't hurt yourself anymore. Please, Angel, you're all I have left. I love you and I don't want to loose you. I've already lost Oscar and I don't want you to be buried next to him, too." She finished before engulfing me into a tight hug.  

~Alex~ *Next Day* 

"How do I look?" I asked Jack who was sitting on the edge of my bed, looking through some magazine I had lying around.  

Jack sighed, "For the millionth time Alex; you look fine. Have you called Angel yet?" He asked, raising an eyebrow at me.  

I shook my head in response, "No but I told her that I was going to pick her up today." I replied, looking back at my mirror. I played with my hair a bit more before I decided I was finally ready to go pick up Angel. She isn't answering her phone but I'm assuming it's because she's either asleep or getting ready.  

Jack and I walked out of my bedroom and into my living room where Zack and Rian were waiting. They were watching some stupid movie on the television. I probably would have joined them if I wasn't feeling so nervous about today.  

Zack looked over at me and grinned, "So you're going to ask her today?" He asked.  

I nodded in response before grabbing the keys that were lying on the coffee table. "It's about time!" Rian exclaimed, chuckling lightly. I rolled my eyes and smiled at my best friend.  

Today, I am going to ask Angel to become my g- 

My thoughts were cut off by the sound of Blink-182 playing from my phone, signaling that I had an incoming call ahead. I looked at the screen of my phone and saw that the call was coming from Angel.

"Hello?" I answered.  

"Alex. I know you said you wanted to hang out today but I can't. My mom she um, she.. well, I just can't hang out today. I am so sorry, please understand." She said, her voice cracking slightly.  

"Is your mom alright?" I asked, genuinely concerned. Sure, I'm kind of disappointed that I couldn't ask her today but her mom is definitely more important.  

"Yeah." Angel sighed, "She just wants to spend the day with me. I'm sorry, maybe we can hang out tomorrow? After your gig." She suggested.  

"Sure, that's fine. I'll talk to you tomorrow, Angel." I said before quickly hanging up. I shoved my phone back in my pocket and collapsed on the couch next to Jack.  

"What happened?" Rian asked.  

I shrugged, "Angel can't hang out today." I mumbled, making no attempt to hide the disappointment in my voice.  

Jack sighed, "Don't worry, Lex." He said, patting my on my back, "You'll get to ask her sometime."  

"I hope so." I mumbled before turning my attention back to the television screen.

&&&

So, what do you guys want to see in the next chapter? Because it could be straight to the point with Alex and Angel's 'date' or we can see how Angel and her mum spent the day and then go to the 'date'. Idk, it's up to you guys ^-^