Dark Angel // Alex Gaskarth

Chapter Four: I Don't Want To Be Hurt Anymore

 Chapter Four: I Don't Want To Be Hurt Anymore         

Song: The Ocean by Tonight Alive

Angel. 

Tapping my pencil against my notebook, I continued counting down the seconds until the bell finally rang. Dismissing us to go to lunch. Most people would probably be happy that they finally get to go eat and hang out with their friends but not me. I mean, I have absolutely no one to talk to, food seems repulsive right now and lunch is just an hour of absolute torture for me.  

I walked out of the classroom and towards my locker. I swiftly put my things inside the small space before closing the locker door. I jumped in surprise once I saw the familiar figure leaning against the locker next to mine. His brown eyes filled with curiosity and amusement.  

"What are you doing here?" I asked, my voice barely above a whisper.  

Alex chuckled, "This is my locker." He said, pointing to the locker next to mine. Seriously? Out of all the lockers in this damn school, he had to have one next to mine?  

"Oh." I mumbled, quietly. I felt the heat rise up to my face as I looked down at the floor below us. A few minutes of silence passed by before Alex let a quiet sigh escape his lips. So many different questions are going through my head right now. The first one being- Why is he still here? Why hasn't he left yet?  

"Um, so, do you want to have lunch with me?" Alex asked, breaking the awkward silence. I looked up at him with a surprised expression. No one has ever asked me to have lunch with them before. Honestly, I want to refuse his offer. I want to say 'no' and walk away but that would be rude and I don't like hurting other people's feelings.  

"Sure." I mumbled, turning my gaze back to the white floors below us.  

"Cool." I heard Alex say. My eyes widened once I felt him grab my hand and begin leading me towards the cafeteria. All the while, I couldn't help but stare at Alex's hand and he held on tightly to mine. I didn't have to look in the mirror to know that my face was as red as a tomato.  

Once we arrived at the cafeteria, Alex began leading me to a table that held two familiar figures. I immediately recognized one as being Jack Barakat, he was in my third period class and the other was... Rian! That's his name, I think.  

"Hey guys." Alex smiled as we finally arrived at the lunch table. Blushing, I quickly pulled my hand away from Alex and looked down at the ground. I could feel Rian and Jack's gaze on me but I didn't dare looking up.  

"Oh, this is Angel." Alex quickly said. I could practically hear the smile in his voice. Dammit, every time I'm around him- he always smiling. I hate to admit it but, his happiness is starting to annoy me. I'm not saying I hate when people are happy but I just wish that I can be happy, too.  

"Hey, Angel." Jack greeted. I forced myself to look up and saw Jack smiling widely at me.  

"Hi, Jack and Rian." I whispered, my face was still red from when Alex held my hand.  

"Are you going to eat anything?" Alex asked, directing his question to me because Jack and Rian already had their lunch set in front of them.  

"No." I quickly replied. Alex raised an eyebrow at me before shrugging and sitting down next to Rian who was now stuffing his mouth with a ham sandwich.  

"Someone's hungry." Alex teased, playfully nudging Rian's arm receiving an annoyed eye roll from Rian. I awkwardly sat down next to Jack who continued smiling widely at Alex and Rian.  

Honestly, I've never felt so out of place before in my entire life. The three of them seem so happy and friendly while I'm just.... not. In fact, I think I'm the complete opposite. Fuck, I don't even remember the last time I smiled a genuine smile.  

"So, where were you the past couple of weeks, Angel?" Jack asked, his wide smile never faltering.  

I couldn't help but feel a slight hint of happiness inside me. I didn't think anyone had noticed my absence and the fact that at least one person did notice feels kind of nice. Wow, I sound really pathetic.

'Because you are' The voice inside my head snapped. I sighed quietly. Yeah, the voice is right. I am fucking pathetic.  

"Um, I had to go visit some family in California." I lied.  

Thankfully, they all seemed to buy my lie. I quickly changed the subject and asked Alex if he was new here.  

"Kind of. I mean, I transferred here from another high school like three weeks ago. I've known Jack since I was in middle school because our moms were best friends so... yeah. I met Rian through Jack, basically" Alex explained, looking directly at me with a wide smile.  

I tried to say something but I couldn't. I was so seriously lost in his eyes. This isn't good. I'm falling for someone I literally just met a couple hours ago. If I continue being around him, nothing good can come from it. I'll end up falling for him but of course, I'll never tell him. I mean, what's the point? Someone like Alex would never go for some stupid, insecure girl like me.  

I quickly got up from my seat, grabbed my backpack and ran out of the cafeteria- ignoring Jack, Alex and Rian's questioning and confused looks.  

I can't do this. I can't fall for him. I can't let him in because if I let him in- he'll just leave me in the end. Everyone else has so why would he be any different? He's just going to hurt me in the end and I don't want to be hurt anymore.