Ana was almost into her second trimester. She had a slight bump, and no morning sickness, which she was extremely grateful for. Benny was obsessed with her bump, she had woken up to Benny's head resting on her stomach on more than one occasion.
Their twelve week appointment was coming up, which meant they would be able to hear the heart beat for the first time.
Benny's mom still wasn't on board with the fact that they were having a baby together, but his father just kept saying she'd get over it once the baby was born.
The morning of their twelve week appointment Ana felt different. Although she was nervous like the first scan, she felt uneasy, it was a different feeling than she had experienced before.
She tried to push it out of her head during work, but as soon as her and Benny left the station to make it to their appointment the feeling started to creep back into her chest.
She was silent on the way to the doctors office and in the waiting room. Benny asked if she was okay, but when she told him she was okay, he knew not to push the issue and she'd talk to him when she was ready.
When she got back into the exam room she made herself comfortable on the small bed and shut her eyes to try and calm her racing heart. She felt Benny's hand slip into her and give it a little squeeze as they waited for the doctor.
"Hello!" The technician sang as she came into the room, "how are the three of you today?" She smiled.
"Good," Benny smiled back glancing at Ana as she tried to force a smile on her face.
"Alright, let's lay back and see what's going on."
Ana laid back and lifted her shirt up for the technician to squirt the gel onto her small bump.
"Alright, let's have a look..." She moved the wand around her stomach trying to get a good view of the baby.
"We're supposed to hear the heart beat, right?" Ana asked.
"Yup...just give me a second...okay, you sit tight, I'm just going to go bring in the doctor." She said.
Ana knew something was wrong. This was what that feeling all day had been. Something was wrong with her baby and she couldn't fix it.
She looked out of the corner of her eyes and saw Benny wiping away tears. He had obviously picked up on something being wrong too. The ultrasound technician probably sucks at poker.
"Ana, Benny. How are you doing today?"
"I'd be better if you would tell us what's wrong."
"Let me just take a look before we jump to any conclusions, okay?"
The doctor picked up the wand and stared intently on the scan before she let out a sigh and put the wand down.
"What's wrong?" Benny asked.
"The baby doesn't have a heart beat. It seems your pregnancy stopped progressing at ten weeks. I'm very sorry."
"Wait. Hold on, what do you mean stopped progressing?"
"You've had a miscarriage. Unfortunately, sometimes you can have a miscarriage and not have the common symptoms like the heavy bleeding and the cramps. Often times you might have some spotting and that's not uncommon in a lot of pregnancies."
"Okay, so you're telling me that when I called and said that I had some bleeding and you said not to worry about it unless it got worse, my baby was dying? You just acted like I was over reacting."
"I'm very sorry. I know you're upset, but unfortunately these things do happen, what we need to do now is talk about what's happening next.
Since you're this far along our best option is to do a D&C.
You'll be under anesthesia, then we'll dilate and remove the tissue and the fetus. The procedure would take no more than half an hour, then we'll keep you at the hospital for a few hours for observation."
"And the other option?"
"The other option is to wait and let the miscarriage happen naturally. Our first option is best, it will decrease chance of infection."
Ana sat there in silence, trying to process what exactly was happening. Benny wiped his face and looked at Ana who just kept staring at the small bump.
"Babe, what do you want to do?" He asked clearing his throat.
"I don't care," she said getting off the table, "I'll be in the car." She said leaving the room.
***
"I made an appointment for tomorrow. I'll call Greg and let him know we'll need a few days off."
Ana didn't say anything. She didn't say anything the whole ride home, or when they got into her apartment. She felt like a zombie as she stood in the shower letting the hot water wash over her.
She stood there until the water turned too cold for her to stand. She wrapped herself in a towel and went to lay in her bed next to Benny.
"Relieved?"
"What?" Ana croaked back unsure of what exactly she had heard.
"Are you relieved? It's not like you wanted the baby anyway."
Ana sat up and looked at Benny.
"Did you actually just fucking say that to me? Yeah, it wasn't planned and I was scared, but do you actually think I'm that heartless I wanted the baby to just...die? Really Benny? Six years and that's what you think of me? I have to get our baby scooped out of me tomorrow and you think I'm fucking relieved. Fuck you."
"You wouldn't even talk about it! You ignored it hoping it would go away and now it has. Our baby is dead and you haven't showed any sign of emotion."
"Fuck you, Ben. You promised you would never wouldn't hurt me, remember that? Get out, this is was such a mistake."
"A mistake?"
"Yes, Ben. Being with you was a mistake. It's over, I'm not your problem anymore. Get out."
Benny ran his hands over his face up through his hair before storming out the door and slamming it behind him.
Ana stared at the door before she broke down. She slid to the floor sobbing. She lost her baby and best friend in the same day. She felt empty and broken and she wasn't sure how she was going to get past her heart breaking.
She crawled her way to the end table beside her bed and grabbing her phone to call the one person she knew she needed.
It didn't even ring three times before there was an answer on the other line.
"Mom, I need you." Was all she got out before she broke down again.
She needed her mom to make it all better.
