This is really happening | Haylor

Facing My Fears

It had been about a week since my mum had mentioned the idea of performing in the ball. At first I actually declined but somehow she made me do it. They say mothers are always right because they always want what's best for you. I truly disagree as some mum's are downright unreasonable, crazy or simply heartless towards their children. Nevertheless I was very much aware that my mum wanted what's best for me. I don't think she nagged me about something as much as she did with this. In the end I had to give in. Proud and happy she said I would end up thanking her later.

So that's pretty much the reason why at the moment I'm in the middle of the school's football pitch at 12 in the afternoon, in the 100 degree weather, in the middle of July. I can't say that I wasn't partially dying. Not to mention the fact that I had to wear long pants because we girls shouldn't even dare show some leg to the boys out here, it would just distract them.

''Why didn't you wear long shorts?'' asked one of the teachers to one of the girls. The girl gave her a smug look and walked away. I understand her so perfectly. I had to hold a giggle. I mean does anyone even find long shorts these days? I find it hard to find shorts that are longer than my butt, let alone four fingers above my ankle.

Surprisingly there wear quite a lot of people to perform for the ball. Unfortunately I had to sing in front of all these people. Shit!

We were all called one by one and those who finished were taken inside to talk to the teachers. That was good, hope I'm last so no one sees me. I'd rather get told by a couple of teachers that I suck than about 60 students. The line went quickly as most of the people where in groups. I wish I had someone with me as it would be so much easier. 'We made a fool of ourselves' is so much better than 'I made a fool of myself'. I felt less nervous when I realized that they were going in alphabetical order and I would certainly be in the end.

I liked a lot of the performers. They calmed me down realizing that these people aren't professionals and that I don't have anything to be scared of.

Then it was time, it was finally my turn. I knew it, we were 3 students left, thank goodness I don't have a surname that starts with the first few letters of the alphabet; bless you dad! I sat up, grabbed my guitar and walked up on the little wooden stage, which to be completely honest felt very wobbly and unsafe. I really hope there's no earthquakes during this thing or someone would die on here.

''So Taylor are you going to perform acoustic?'' one of the teachers asked.

''Uhm, yes.'' I gasped.

''Okay, show us what you got then.'' She replied with a smile.

Then it came, exactly what I was scared of the most. A rush of anxiety moved towards me with a strong force like a gust of wind that suddenly approached from underneath my chest and in mere moments surrounded me and I was promptly drowning in my own fears.

''Taylor?'' I heard the teacher ask but it sounded like she was miles away and I felt lost.

''Is she okay?'' I heard one of the students that was sitting next to me ask the girl next to her.

''Taylor snap out of it!'' I heard a voice in the back of my head screaming. I shook it off.

''Sorry, I'm having some stage fright.'' I confessed awkwardly as I felt anxiety creeping up my throat.

''Well it's not the end of the world if you mess up so.'' said the teacher coldly.

Wow! So helpful I thought sarcastically.

''Okay.'' I gasped trying to push my monsters away.

It took a few moments but I think at one point I actually started playing and I just didn't want to stop. Not only that but I was going over my limit trying to impress them. I picked songs I've sang a hundred times. The only difference is that there were people watching me playing them, people other than my dad that is.