I'm Your Fool

Family

"You left us! You knew we needed you and you left us! For fucks sake you left your daughter in her time of need and you knew what she was going through and what she felt inside. She needed her father and you acted like anything but that. You actually...left." Joe was still in his protective stance standing above me so my father couldn't reach me. We were all pulled in to a meeting room so we didn't disturb any of the employee's who were at work, but most of them just looked through the window anyway to see what was happening.

"I know I left Joe! I left because I didn't know what to do and I wasn't in the right frame of mind to look after two teenage kids on my own. I left to get help."

"Some help! You never fucking came back! You left us with Auntie Sue and a bank account, which after you thought about it you took away from us! Which is why I left so I could take care of me and my sister! So my baby sister could carry on in education if she wanted to, so she had something to help put food in her mouth and keep a roof over her head."

"Joe I'm sorry-"

"No! You don't get to be sorry! You're a fucking ass and sorry doesn't cut it! Mom died and you ran. You said goodbye to her at the funeral and then you turned in to a drunken mess. A violent drunken mess who I had to pin to the floor to save my baby sister's life! You almost fucking killed her!" Only Josh and Joe knew about my past, I never let Justin in that far. My past was something I'd tried to keep in the past and hoped would never surface again.

"Joe please let me explain. What I did to you and your sister-"

"Zoey! Her name is Zoey."

"Zoey.." His eyes found mine from behind Joe's back, he didn't move an inch knowing what my father once did to me. Joe was more of a father to me than that man ever was. "My darling girl I'm so sorry for what I did to you. I was anything but a father to you when your mother died and no amount of apologies can make you forgive me, I know that. But I wasn't in a mental state of mind to be around you, your brother or even your mother. And she knew that. She told me to get help but you needed mine, and with me trying to give you that I only needed it more. Then one day I snapped and..I almost killed my own daughter with my bare hands. If Joe hadn't put me in my place I never would have found the strength to go get help."

"Why didn't you just tell us you needed help? If you'd have just told us that you needed it then we could have avoided all of this! I'd still consider you a father to me if you hadn't laid hands on me! Joe was more of a father than you ever were! We could have helped you." My voice shook but I was stubborn to show no signs of weakness. This man left me alone for so many years so there was no chance I would forgive him in under half an hour. I don't think I could forgive him with half a life time.

"Zoey, sweetheart-"

"NO!...No. You don't get permission to call me sweetheart until I say so."

"I want to fix this Zoey; please let me fix this. I don't know what else I can say other than I'm sorry and I'm healed now! I found help, I found soberness, I found love, I found-"

"Love? You found love?" Joe's eyes met mine with the same confusion. He left us to be with another woman?

"Yes Zoey I met someone. That happens when you move somewhere and start a new life and a new beginning. She helped me and I couldn't thank her enough for that."

"Clearly fucking her wasn't enough of a thank you then?" I could taste the bitterness on my tongue. It was like I'd just eaten a lemon it was so fresh.

"Watch your tongue with me young lady! I might not have been around the past few years but I'm still your father!"

"Fucking barely!"

"Language!" 

"Fuck off!"

"Quit it Zoey! Or else!"

"Or else what, father? Going to hit me again?" His face dropped, and then so did my adrenaline. 

I saw Joe and Josh after my last comment and even they were speechless. I just wasn't sure whether it was a good speechless or not. Maybe I went too far? I think I did. I-..Wait, he beat me. Why do I feel sorry? I can feel my heart racing. It's like I've just had a ten mile run. I need to leave. I can't be around him anymore.

"I have to go..."

"Zoey no, I know you're mad at me and it's ok that you are. You're going to say things you don't mean and chances are so am I. But that's how we work through it. Saying things we don't mean."

"That's the thing..Dad. I do mean it. And I shouldn't want to mean it." Joe put his arm round my waist and pulled me in to him. 

"I'm going to take Zoey back to the hotel now. If you want to sort this out and start trying to be the parent you once were to us, then I'm pretty sure you have Justin's number. You speak to him and he'll speak to us and we'll let you know what we want. You have a week to sit on it. Don't make the wrong choice...pops." With that, Joe walked me out the room. Josh held my hand tight, the one silent way he knew to tell me he was there for me when there were no words to speak. Joe kept his hand round my waist. 

Then we were in the elevator going back down to the lobby. Crossing the lobby floors. Walking out the doors. Justin...

His arms were around me quicker than a lightning flash.

"We'll sort this out baby, I promise. I want nothing more than to see you happy. I'll fix this. I'll fix you."

And I believed him.

I just don't believe in myself..

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There are no words other than...

I hope you enjoyed this chapter. There is more yet to come. I'm sorry I've not been updating. Please accept a few new chapters as my apology.

Thank you for reading.

All the love, B

<3