I'm Your Fool

Mothers..

"Zoey, what are you doing? Darling I didn't raise you like this. You were raised to be such a fine, polite and beautiful lady. Why are you doing this? Not just to yourself but to Josh and Justin too?"

"Mum-"

"Honey, let me finish and then you can speak your mind. The reason you felt so overwhelmed just then was because I was willing you to stop, I put all my energy into making you stop what you were doing. So much you apparently couldn't take it, but it worked. You stopped and now I get to talk to you myself, honey we don't have long so listen carefully. This man right here loves you with everything in himself. He denies it because he's so scared of hurting you and you hurting him, which you did. And his walls are back up, you know that. Remember the text he sent you?"

The text..when me and Josh went home and..oh the text.

...

"I trusted you, I trusted us. I never thought you'd hurt me like you have done, I started to put all of my trust in you because you were putting yours in myself. And in thanks you go home with the one person you promised me you'd never hurt me by. Trust goes both ways Zoey, so does truth and honour and regret. I told you not to get close to me but you pushed everything out of the way and wrapped me round your finger. I trusted you.."

...

"I didn't mean to hurt him Mum, I never wanted to do that. I didn't mean to hurt Josh either, we had a drink and did something stupid.."

"You don't need to explain yourself to me sweetheart, but you do to Justin. He's not trying to wake you up right now for nothing. He trusted you, you know his story. He was in a relationship where he was cheated on and used for money. You did half of that and ripped his heart out."

"Isn't ripping each other's hearts out what loves all about? You hurt each other to see if you go running back and really care about one another?"

"Keep going with thoughts like that and see how far you get in relationships. If you love him you'll let him know and you'll fix this, and you'll fix it with Josh too. He's a wreck as well Zoey-kins. He has no job, no girl and barely any friends who visit him. He's lucky he has a small flat to put a roof over his head. He needs you, he'll deny it at first but he does. I've been looking after him to make sure he's safe while you've been contemplating whether or not to talk to either of these men and how to explain yourself. You know how and what to do, you can do it sweetie. I believe in you and I always will."

"I miss you mum.."

"Oh honey I miss you too, but you know I'm always here for you. I need to go now, but I'll always be by your side to guide you."

"Mum please don't leave me, I don't know what to do..please."

"You know what to do Zoey. You know. I love you.."

Mum. Whenever I've felt someone by my side or felt like I've been silently judged. It was her..it was always her. I miss her so much. Mummy..

"Zoey, Christ! Wake up! Please! I need you to wake up! Baby please! If you can hear me then..then follow my voice, I'm here. I'm sorry for arguing with you, I'm sorry for everything I've put you through. I need you to wake up, please! I need you.."

He needs me, he needs me! My Mum was right, that's not a shock. She was always great with men, she could sweet talk any man she wanted. Unlike me, I'm the opposite. I could lose any man I wanted..and I do.

"Fuck, Zoey! Please!"

The lights are so bright, why does he have so many lights on? Has his office always been this bright?

"J-..Justin?"

"Thank God, Zoey.."

One of his arms wrapped around my waist and the other to the back of my neck. Gently he pulled me into his lap so he was almost cradling me, gently stroking my cheek and gazing at me intently until I said something else.

"Justin, I. Lights, the lights."

He grabbed a remote from the table behind us and pressed a button, the lights immediately dimmed. Finally, I can open my eyes a little more.

His face, he's..why does he have tear strains?

"Were you crying? I thought you were Mr.Tough?"

"And I thought you were never going to wake up or have a normal conversation with me ever again. Things change."

"Why are you so grouchy? I just woke up, be nice to me."

He didn't say anything. He simply shook his head and let out a trifle of laughter before looking at me. His smile was beautiful. He was beautiful, and he cares about me. Me. Out of all the crazy, deranged, confused and under-educated women in sex. He cares about me and no one else.

"Zoey you are the most frustrating, confusing and enticing woman I know. One minute you want to bite my head off and the next you want my sympathy. I can't keep up with you."

"I could throw that back at you. Minus the woman part, you clearly aren't a woman. You're a man."

He laughed again, he should do that more. He looks younger when he does, he seems his age.

"We aren't done with our previous conversation. But I'm taking you home to feed you and take care of you."

"By home you mean?"

"Your home. I have clothes there and we need to feed the dog. Then we can talk."

With no further arguments, he stood up with me in his arms and left. We took the elevator down to the car park and he gently sat me in the front seat and did my seatbelt. Going to the drivers side, he got in and buckled himself in and began the journey home. My mums words kept echoing in my head. 'This man right here loves you with everything in himself. He denies it because he's so scared..'

He's scared of me hurting him..which I did. We're going to need to talk about that later. Right now I was admiring him while he drove home. He really was beautiful.

"You're staring."

"You're beautiful"

"Funny, I don't remember you hitting your head when you fainted. I recall catching you."

"You're hilarious Bieber."

The journey home was peaceful. Whether that's because I was tired and worn out I don't know, but something felt different. Something between us was different. I can't figure it out right now because I'm so tired. But something was there. Something not seen before. Something..warm?

....................................................................................

Hi! Thank you so much for reading!

I'm so sorry that I'm posting late but I don't have the best internet right now and I have to keep using my phone but I'm trying to update as often as I can for you all!

I really hope you enjoy it and I'm so thrilled you all enjoy it!

I love reading your comments and seeing that you guess what happens next and you give me ideas to help me when I have no idea what to put!

You guys are the best and keep doing what you're doing because without you I wouldn't be writing.

That seems so heartfelt considering I'm not a professional writer but, hey-ho. One can hope haha.

Anyway thank you so much and you're all awesome!

@clifford4pizza