Deception (Michael Clifford)

Thirty Five

I don't normally do this, but if you've got a spare few minutes, give a quick listen to Save Me a Spark by Sleeping With Sirens, it is the song they are writing in this chapter and whilst I do have to give credit, I also think its a great song :) so give it a listen.
Enjoy!

Kellin woke me as we arrived at the hotel.

I didn't want to wake up, I'd have rather stayed in the black hovering void that is sleep, at least then I wouldn't have to deal with my feelings.
I walked through the doors and went up to my room, leaving Kellin waiting in the foyer. He offered to come up with me whilst I grab some clothes, in case my mum was there and tried to stop me. But luckily for me, it didn't come to that. I'd sent her a text earlier in the day that I'd be spending some time with Kellin, and was coming back to get my things, its been 24 hours, and she still hasn't replied. I know I should be worried, but in all honesty there are other things on my mind.
Stuffing my backpack with some essentials, including my sketch book, I travelled back down and hopped into the truck.

Now we are at band rehearsal. If you can call it that. Really it's just everyone sitting in a dark room, strumming lazily on guitars, looking at their phones, and discussing what they're going to have for dinner.
I'm sat on the couch next to Jesse.
"I thought you guys were meant to be writing new songs today. There doesn't seem to be a lot of writing going on." I mumble over my knees.
He looks around at the group distantly. I'm just teasing him really, I know that Kellin writes most of the lyrics, but Jesse hasn't even picked up his guitar, normally those two are right next to each other, helping build the songs.
"We're waiting for our producer to arrive." Jesse replies absently, not looking at me. I frown and rest my chin on my knees.

Kellin is across the other side of the room, baggy shirt, jeans, tattoos covering his arms. He looks up at me quickly, before continuing to talk to Jack. I feel uneasy.
He's been keeping a close eye on me since what happened yesterday. I haven't told him, which I feel extremely guilty about. But when he insisted that I stay with him for a few days, I didn't argue.
I didn't speak until I went to bed that night either, that was when he asked if he had hurt me. My reaction must have come across more aggressively than I intended, because he's been giving me a wide birth all day.

I think back to what happened, and feel butterflies flutter in my chest. It was almost like he didn't intend to kiss me. I turned around and he was suddenly... There. I didn't think of Michael as the sort to do things spontaneously. With him everything is planned. It's calculated. Every possible outcome run through his head before making a move.
But the way he kissed me yesterday, no warning, just me and him pressed together, hands eager and feverish. That wasn't calculated.
I hug myself tighter as I feel a shiver pass over my skin.

Jesse is looking at me strangely.
"Y'kay chick?" There's concern in his voice.
I lift my head off my knees and glance at him quickly. A backwards baseball cap covers the most of his coppery hair, except for the fringe that peeks out the front, and the stubble covering his chin. I remember when that hair used to be down to his shoulders, he looks so different now.
"Yeah," I sigh, turning my attention back to Kellin as he jots down on a piece of paper. Jesse still doesn't look away.
"Whad's wrong?"
"Nothing's wrong, I'm fine." I smile lightly to reassure him, but he doesn't look convinced, I don't even convince myself, but I can't be bothered. Jesse is normally the goof ball of the band, the one with the snappy comments and sarcastic attitude, but he can be serious when he wants to be.
He watches me as I think it over.
Honestly, I haven't told anyone what happened when I went back to that house. The only people that know about it is myself and Michael. And somehow, Ashton. I'm not sure how he knows, whether he saw or not, but I get the feeling that he just does.
Jesse speaks, "know something?" I look at him. His eyes are quizzical, a small smirk on his lips. "I'bin married to Ashley for over a year now," I raise an eyebrow. "I've learnt when a woman tells you there's nothing wrong, there's always something wrong."
I don't even have it in me to laugh as I look away, watching as Jack lays down a tune. He's got me there, though I thought I was a better liar than that, clearly not.