Deception (Michael Clifford)

Fourty

I want you to picture Australia. I want you to feel it on your skin, in your lungs, against your eyelids. The hot sun beating down from the clear blue sky, the air dry and refreshing, a slight breeze that tickles your hair. In the distance is the sound of the native parrots, screeching overhead, the landscape sandy and dry. That is how I would describe my home to you, what I remember of Australia. My whole childhood spent climbing trees, diving in the ocean, running around on the dry grass, crackling underfoot, then stepping on a bindi thorn and spending the next 20 minutes caressing my foot.
When I stepped off the plane in Sydney and descended the steps down to the Tarmac, that's what came rushing back. I was a kid again, holding dads hand through the park, running around the playground at school playing chasey, cool orange juice and cucumber sandwiches.
It shouldn't be what I remembered, because all of that was years ago, when I was no older than 7 or 8. What I should of remembered was the feeling of pain and grief, the emptiness of realising that my best friend was gone, not what it was like when he was the one walking me down these steps.

The whole way through departures, baggage claim and the rest was a journey within itself. The sights and sound of being back home, the twang of the Australian accent, the thongs and singlets that come as standard dress in the homeland, and the brands that I didn't even realise I'd missed. It put a bounce in my step.
As expected, there was a huge crowd waiting for us as we got out of the gates. Luckily I was at the front of the group this time round, so they didn't pay much attention to me, their eyes looking straight past me at the four boys following behind. So I keep my head down and push through towards the external doors. I'd look up every now and then to see the security keeping a clear path for us, but I'd make sure not to make any eye contact with any of the girls swarming behind them.
As I was thinking this, there was a loud 'Hey!' from somewhere on my left, and automatically I swivel my head, meeting the eyes of a young girl wearing a tally logo on her shirt. She beckons for me to come over with a smile, and upon looking over my shoulder to see the guys have stopped, I approach with caution. She smiles nervously but with excitement sparkling in her eyes, a few others around her regard me wearily.
"Hi," she says happily, "I just wondered if I could get a photo."
I raise my eyebrows at her and blink, "a photo?"
"Yeah," she pulls out her phone and leans over the barrier, "your Ashton's girlfriend right?"
Wait what? I stare at her in shock, too flabbergasted to do anything else. The others within earshot are now staring at me and listening in on the exchange with peaked interest.
"Actually, I'm-"
"Scar!" I look around to see Ashton beckoning me with a wave, "we gotta move," I look back at the girl, who's leaning in for a photo. I try and tell her that I've got to go but she insists and I take a quick, rather nervous picture. The others are now asking for the same but I'm walking away before I can explain. I rejoin the group and Ashton quickly steps up to my side.
"Are you okay?" He asks.
I nod, tucking a piece of hair behind my ear, "yeah, fine." Suddenly conscious of how close we are standing, I push the blush away from my face.

Finally we make it out of the noisy racket inside the airport, and out into the parking lot. They've secured off an area, clearly expecting our arrival and the mayhem it would cause, already waiting in the parking lot are three vans, they begin packing them immediately. Amongst all the chaos I manage to find my mum, dragging a large suitcase behind her and I join as she explains we'll be going straight to Grandpa Elmo's, meaning we'll have to catch a cab. A sudden wave of panic surges over me, and I look back over at the guys and the crew, realising this is probably the last ill see of them until we fly back to LA. I contemplate going over there quickly and saying goodbye, seen as they are basically my new touring family, but none of them even seem to notice that I'm gone, instead they're busily packing the vans, loading up the gear and relaying instructions. I sigh sadly, shooting down the idea, and turn back to my mum as a cab pulls up.
"Scar!" I turn around and look for who called my name. On the other side of the parking lot Ashton is dropping his bags, trying to get someone to hold them and motioning for me to wait. My lips twitch with a smile and he comes jogging over.
He's panting as he approaches, "hope your not leaving without saying goodbye," He smirks, and opens his arms for a hug. I step into him, feeling suddenly warm and comfortable.
"Bye Ashton," I say amused through his shirt, he pulls back and smiles. The taxi driver is packing the cases into the back.
"We'll have to catch up with you whilst we're back, you've got my number right?"
I nod.
"Sweet," he says, "if you need anything, don't be afraid to shoot me a message." he smiles, "I guess I'll see you around."
Both of our attention is caught suddenly by someone shouting across the car park, I look around him to see both Luke and Calum waving at Ashton to hurry up, then they spot me.
"Scar!" They hold their hands out indignantly as if to say, 'what are you doing?'
I laugh and Ashton says, "I think you better go over there and say goodbye."
We chuckle as we make our way back over to the group and I'm engulfed by a strong hug from Calum, "it was cool to meet you." He says cooly, then I'm passed to Luke, his hug is a bit more tentative, but just as engulfing.
"Your not leaving us for good are you?" He asks, eyes like a puppies.
"No, I don't think so," I answer truthfully, blushing from all the attention.
"Alright, well, see you next time." He says awkwardly, and I turn to face all of them, looking around discreetly for Michael, who I could have sworn I saw a minute ago eyeing me narrowly through his fringe.
"It was really great to meet you guys," I tell all of them, "you'll have to come down and visit by the beach sometime, my grandpa owns a bungalow down there."
They nod and agree enthusiastically before being called by their manager to load on the bus.
"See you later Scar!" I say my final goodbyes with another quick hug from Ashton before trotting back over to where my mum is waiting by the cab. As I get in I feel a shiver run up my back, and turn around in my seat to watch the three vans sinking into the distance. I sigh and turn back, digging for my earphones and thinking about what will happen now that I'm back. Will Grandpa remember me? Will he like me, after everything that's happened? And what will I do with myself, having no obligation to be anywhere now? The fear starts to unfurl in my chest, what if, after everything, I don't like being back in Australia?