Worthless.
Slut.
Whore.
Delusional.
Die. Everyone would be happier if you just left.
Lauren had no reason to feel this way. She just did. Right after the show, she took one last glance at the crowd. Then she saw a little girl. The same little girl at the rest stop. The one who never came back after she said she would.
Lauren blinked.
Then the girl was gone.
You're fucking crazy, her mind told her. Die already.
She winced. The harsh words affected her. If you couldn't accept yourself, who else would? she thought. No one, that's who.
Them. The demons scampered through her mind. Ripping herself apart, making her cry out a waterfall. Why me? she always asked herself. Why is it always me?
"Lauren, Lauren? Are you okay?" Her own band couldn't keep her from feeling the way she did. Her best friends couldn't stop her from feeling, feeling like someone who should've died.
Someone who didn't deserve to be alive.
She wandered on the streets of Florida. She remembered the letter that Luke left her last night.
Dear Lauren,
I love you. I had to go. But I promise I'll come back. You're beautiful. You're an amazing person. What did we do to deserve you?
I love you.
Luke x
Lauren continued to walk. She passed by something. Something she wished she didn't have to see.
It was on the corner of the street. Roses, candles, and pictures were set. A big sign read; Rest In Peace, Emily Mia Garrison.
Lauren stood there. Staring at the photos of her late friend. All Lauren ever wanted was to see Emily again. Just one last time. The reoccurring memories hit her like a truck. She let out a shaky breath, looking at a photo of her late friend.
"I'm sorry, Em." She croaked out, tears spilling down her cheeks. "I'm so sorry."
"It's all my fault." Lauren whispered to herself.
FLASHBACK
Emily rolled her shiny, brown hair into a bun, then turned to Lauren. Lauren sat on her pink bicycle, awaiting for Emily to get on her's.
"Hm," Emily began. "what should we do?"
"Dunno." Lauren said back. Emily tapped her finger on her chin, and thought.
"What about a race?" Lauren suggested impatiently. "Reach McDonalds, then go back. Whoever gets back here the fastest, wins."
Emily grinned. "Alrighty. You're going down, Jauregui."
"Yeah, yeah." Lauren retorted, "That's what you said last time."
"Hmph." said Emily in response. Lauren pedaled her bike forward, swiftly away from her friend. She continued, racing toward the end of the road. She lost track of Emily. Lauren just shrugged, turning the corner to use as a short cut.
Emily was right behind her then. Lauren gave her a thumbs up, then kept going. She left Emily behind.
Emily screamed.
Lauren ignored it. She thought it was just a trick to get her to go back.
Then there was another.
It was too faint to hear. Lauren was already out of the neighborhood.
She went back home, going the same way she did before. There was no sign of Emily anywhere.
Emily was pronounced dead the next day. Lauren was traumatized. Whoever killed her, they left Emily's body in the middle of the street. A knife stabbed where her heart was. Blood covered her body. Lauren screamed.
"She isn't dead!" Lauren choked out. "It's just a trick! S-She's going to be fine."
"Lauren, sweetheart," her mother began. "I'm very sorry. But she's gone."
Lauren's eyes glossed with tears. "I could've turned back, and helped." The tears rushed down her face. "I'm sorry, Em."
And that's her depression originated from. Emily was the one who made her happy. Smile. Laugh. Emily was the only person that could make her feel lively.
Glad to be alive. It was always a package deal with those two. One would be useless without the other.
She cried and cried. And she never stopped.
"I could've saved you." Lauren cried out. "It's all my fault."
FLASHBACK OVER
"Lauren, you were only nine." A voice faintly says. "She's gone now. For good, you have to accept it."
More tears ran down her cheeks.
"It's not your fault. If you had gone back, you could've died too." Arms wrapped around Lauren's waist. "Emily's in a better place now."
"I heard her scream." Lauren says. Her voice was barely audible.
"I'm sure other's did too." Luke says, resting a kiss upon her cheek. "It's not your fault."
She didn't say anything in response.
"Stop blaming yourself." Luke rested his head in her shoulder, "She's gone and I'm sorry for that. I can tell she was important to you. But, I think she'd be happier if you stopped thinking about it. It causes you so much pain. She wouldn't want that."
She wouldn't want that.
Lauren shut her eyes, biting her lip and nodding. Luke smiled a bit, "Say goodbye to her, Lauren."
Lauren walked up to the wall that held up roses that spelled out Emily's name. She held her hand up to it, letting out a small whimper as Luke assured her everything would be alright. Emily would be alright.
"Goodbye, old friend." Lauren said. "I'll miss you."
-
WOW IM SAD.
YOU ARE READING
Publicity // Luke Hemmings & Lauren Jauregui
Fanfiction"We'll do it." Those three words triggered the start of this entire adventure. It's amazing how those three words meant so much to this. Why Luke agreed? Beats me. Did I take anyone's advice? No one gave me any.
