ultraviolet

sixteen

GOODNIGHT, MY LOVE

~

(First Name)'s POV:

DO MY EARS DECEIVE me..?Jungkook, who-all of a sudden-had just spilled out a declaration of love. His soft, sweet confession calls to me on some deep elemental level, as if he's seeking absolution; his words are my manna from heaven. Tears prick my eyes. Yes, you do. I know you do. I focus my crestfallen eyes upon him, admiring his desolate, lethargic physique. My hand cravingly lunged forward to touch him, and my fingertips gently grazed against his ruffled, charcoal tufts which fully enswathed his forehead.

"(First Name)?" Hoseok mumbled, mellowly tapping upon my shoulder. Taken aback, I shook my head and rapidly fluttered my eyelids, freeing myself from the universe of my thoughts. Oh God, I totally forgot that Hoseok oppa was in the room as well.. "I'm going to check up on Taehyung," he whispered, briefly caressing his warm, cordial hands along my biceps before cautiously heading towards the door.

I repeatedly whipped my head back and forth from Hoseok to Jungkook indecisively. While I took once last everlasting glance down at Jungkook, combing my fingers through the loose tendrils bordering his moist, sweaty face, I tentatively erected up from my seat once Hoseok reached the door. Before he could even take grasp of the gold knob, I magnetically clung my hand to his forearm, which stopped him in his track. Hoseok's profile wrinkled confoundly as he turned to face me. "What are you doing?" he asked hoarsely.

"I'll go see Taehyung oppa instead," I insisted breathily.

"Oh, uhm... Are you sure? Because I'm just going to see if he's okay and then I'll come right back."

"Oppa, Taehyung is sleeping in my room and I was planning on sleeping there for the rest of the night."

Hoseok sighed, "well, okay. I guess I'll take care of Jungkook then."

"I really appreciate it," I hushed, smiling fondly. "There's a futon in the closet, so get some rest soon."

"Alright, thanks (First Name)."

~

I CLOSED THE DOOR behind me carefully as I exited the guest bedroom, gritting my teeth anxiously in hopes that both Taehyung and Jungkook remain sound asleep. Thank goodness that mother has a night shift at the hospital, or else I would be murdered in my sleep if she found out that I had people over. Especially boys.

As the door shut fully with a gust of cold air, the hallway soon came to be breathlessly silent-so silent that you could hear a pin drop. I quietly tiptoed across towards my room, and once arriving at the door, I had one hand firmly holding the knob and the other pressed against the frigid wood. Slowly, I began to creak open the door.

I tentatively peeked my head through the small, established opening of the door. Shrouded in the dimly lit, incandescent room, Taehyung sat on the edge of my white satin-sheeted bed; his elbows propped just atop his knees as he achingly held his face in his hands, and his hair glints baby highlights of a dirty blonde. A faint lachrymose instrumental of a piano and guitar fill the heavy air with desperation. Indigo by Yiruma, one of my favorites. Although I did my best to discreetly enter the room, the door shutting behind me wasn't afraid to yell with a slam. Oh, shit.. At that moment, Taehyung unveiled his hands, revealing his burning eyes which instantaneously pierced into mine.

"Oppa, 괜찮아요?" I ask, uncertain whether or not to speak up. I push my back against the wood, leaning myself against the door. The elephant in the room suffocated my internal and external being, choking up the sacred thoughts I wish to transform into beautiful words for Taehyung.

"응." Taehyung muttered. With one hand, he tousled with his chocolate mane, and the corners of his mouth turned upward softly. His head drops to stare down at his bare feet and the cold, hardwood floor. "나는 괜찮아요.."

Liar. He's concentrating, lost in the melancholy of the music. I hesitate, watching from the shadows, not wanting to interrupt him. I want to hold him. He looks lost, sad even, and achingly lonely—or maybe it's just the music that's so full of poignant sorrow. The piece finishes, pauses for a split second, then starts to play again. I move cautiously toward him, drawn like a moth to an open flame. He glances up at me and frowns before his gaze returns to his feet.

"태형 오빠," I said, almost inaudibly as I stared down at him.

"뭔데.. (What..)" he muttered, massaging his hands together as if he were lathering soap underneath a tap.

Taehyung's palms and fingers seemed quite anemic and dry as a desert, almost as if he rubbed chalk between every nook and cranny of his hands. Using his thumb, he simultaneously began to crack his fingers one by one, and the blue veins running along his muscular forearms popped beneath his apricot skin as well. I watch, devastated to see his impeccable hands in this sort of condition. All of his treasured talent is buried within the tips of his fingers–literally.

I gently dropped to my knees and settled myself upon my calves, obediently sitting a mere six inches from Taehyung. His fallen head hovered just above mine, along with his curtaining chestnut tendrils, which prohibited the two of us from meeting face to face. It's such a liberating realization, as if a crushing millstone has been tossed aside. This beautiful, fucked-up man, whom I once thought of as my romantic hero–strong, solitary, mysterious–possesses all these traits, but he's also fragile and alienated and self-loathing. And I know in this moment that my heart is big enough for both of us.

I hope it's big enough for both of us.

I reach my hand up to clasp his dear, handsome face, and I planted a kiss upon his tress-covered forehead, pouring all the love I feel into this one sweet connection. As I pulled away after who knows how long, my subconscious gapes at me in stunned silence. Taehyung tentatively starts to lift his face, and I wear a face-splitting grin as I gaze longingly into his tortured eyes. Holy shit, did I really just do that?

Taehyung cleared his throat with an ahem. "(First Name) 누나, what-"

"오빠, there's something I've been meaning to tell you," I sighed, "and it has been resonating in the back of my mind for quite some time now.."

"뭐-뭐예요..?"

"I'm in love with you."

- - - - - -

A/N: *gets down on knees and takes a full bow to the floor* 🙇🏻

I AM SO SORRY THAT THIS UPDATE TOOK SO LONG. 😭

EXAMS WERE THE TOUGHEST THING EVER. 😩

STUDYING AND HOMEWORK TOOK UP A MAJORITY OF MY TIME AND I COULD ONLY WRITE AND EDIT ABOUT A PINCH A DAY.

I SINCERELY APOLOGIZE.

Now that summer is here, I feel the inspiration to write boil inside of me. 😊

Please look forward to more updates!

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I love you and have an amazing day!

~ Kanzaki-chan ☆～（ゝ。∂）