Epilogue I

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Even though I'm only in my seventeenth year of life, so much has happened to me.  In only this year alone, I've experienced so many changes in my life that it became hard for me to feel normal.  It became hard for me to push onward.  It became hard for me to be happy.  It became hard for me to feel anything other than anger or sadness.  It became hard for me to be me.

I got in a car wreck nine months ago.  The truck was pushed off the icy road into a ditch on the side.  I hit my head damaging a part of my brain resulting in me having amnesia.  My memories of the seven months before that accident were lost to me, and I forgot people that I became close to and how I changed my way of living and my friends to get the attention of a boy.

Two months ago, I got into another car wreck with this one leaving me more damaged than the first.  We were trying to get to the hospital to be there for our friend when we were hit.  And now, we're still dealing with the aftermath.

I'm deaf; the glass from the windows fell into my ears and became lodged and stuck.  The doctors are still trying to remove them.  My speaker follows me around everywhere I go to translate what people say into sign language for me and then respond back for me.

Hendrix's left side is completely paralyzed.  The car crushing in on his side damaged the nerves completely leaving there being no way to fix it.  He's still in the therapy process of trying to walk with a cane, but for now he's in a wheel chair.  There is always someone at his side to help him with it more often than not being Jadan.

Jadan broke her left leg and right arm along with a rib or two.  She's the only one of us that wasn't left with anything permanent.  Luckily she was able to recover quickly.

Aunt Heather is dead.  They said she died upon impact killing her instantly.  I'm kind of glad that's how it was for her so that she didn't live through all the pain before passing.  The head rest damaged her spinal cord and nerves, so if she would've lived, she would have been a vegetable.

Aniya is dead.  She died of an allergic reaction to the date rape drug the guy gave her.  The doctors said that the guy gave her too much and that because she was so small that it acted fast.  Luckily we were able to arrest the guy that killed her.  He went to the police station to try and report that Hendrix "tried" to kill him, and they arrested him on the spot.

Jadan, Hendrix, and I couldn't go to the two funerals because we were in the hospital.  We didn't get to say goodbye. . .

Right now, all of us, my family and friends, were here at this attorney's office to go over their wills, the last writing we have from them.

"Aniya has left all her belongings to be divided between her friends as they chose to.  Because she was so young and didn't have a formal will, her parents will decide what to do with what isn't claimed by her friends," the attorney said and my helper signed.  I nodded my understanding to my translator, and he told them I understood.  Settling that matter, he shuffled his papers around before moving onto Aunt Heather's will.

"Heather has left a detailed will along with a letter for me to read aloud and one to give to Kade," he says getting up from his desk to hand deliver the letter to me before returning to his seat and reading Aunt Heather's letter.

"If this is being read to you, then something had happened where I ended up dead.  I've been keeping secrets from you all, but I hoped to tell you all before something happened.  The first thing is that I have, or had, bone cancer.  I had Ewing Tumor which started in my bones and muscles; it is also the third most common and effects a lot of younger people.  I found out I had it two years ago when I went to the doctor's office to get a check up.  The other secret I kept was my son Braxton.  When I went away all those months, I was hiding my pregnancy from you all.  I kept him a secret because I felt ashamed.  I also found out I had cancer during one of my pregnancy check ups.  I decided not to go through with treatment to save my son even though that meant the cancer would kill me faster.  Being dead, I want all responsibilities to go to Kade and for her to raise him."  Everyone became shocked at hearing all this information including myself, and they all turned to stare at me.  I quickly signed that I accepted the responsibilities before I stood and ran out the room.  I'm sure that people called me temporarily forgetting that I'm deaf.

I ran and ran in the rain away from anybody because I couldn't deal with it all.  The only good thing about being deaf was that it was easy to shut everything out.  I ran to the backyard of my house and sat on my old swing hanging from the tree crying my eyes out.  My aunt and I shared everything, yet she didn't tell me any of this.  Why would she hide this from me?  I sat there and cried finding it hard to breath feeling the anxiety attack coming.  Arms wrapped around me, and the rain stopped causing me to look up to see and umbrella over my head.  I turned to the side to see Sage giving me a sad smile.

And then, the strangest thing happened.

All these images rushed through my mind like a fast forwarded movie in front of my eyes.  They showed different parts that I didn't remember, and that was when I realized it was my memories I lost coming back to me.

I saw how we first met.

"Are you okay?" he had asked coming up to me as I swung back and forth.

"Not really," I said coming to a stop.

"Why is that?" he asked sitting next to me on the swing.

"My parents don't care about me.  They think I'm strange and that I shouldn't be the way I am," I told him not looking up from the ground.

"That's stupid.  They shouldn't say that to you.  You are beautiful and seem like a nice girl.  If you didn't wear all black, I'd go out with you."

"Can you remember?" he signed to me having a hard time holding the umbrella.

And I did.  I remembered everything.

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