Can you Remember? #Wattys2016

Chapter 32: What are you Hiding?

I stood in front of Secret Spot shivering in the cold even though I'm layered up with black skinny jeans, black fur boots, and two black sweaters. It's not too cold outside, but I've always gotten cold easily. Right now, I've decided to get some answers no matter what. It's been almost two weeks since I last saw Dr. Lori, and I've decided to take her advice.

I'm going to uncover some puzzle pieces.

I want to take my time doing this and not rush through anything I case I find something out I didn't need to know or if I get a headache and make myself sick trying to figure everything out all at once. My goal is to talk to everyone I can about it: my parents, Sage, James, Ann, Aunt Heather, and my group of friends. I need to start somewhere, so that's why I'm here.

I'm going to talk to Hendrix.

He's the one who has been vague about the whole thing. He's the one who showed up when I needed comforting. He's the one who offered advice on how to escape being forced to do something that didn't make sense. He's one of the only ones whose tried to help me. He's the one who has been leaving the notes behind for me to find. He's the one who has left me with more questions than answers.

Earlier today, I texted him without really saying the reason I wanted to talk with him. I only told him that I was feeling down and needed someone to talk to. I didn't lie necessarily because this whole situation is making me feel like crap, but his is kind of the last person I would want to spill my guts out to after what happened last time.

Hendrix: Hey are you here yet?

Me: Just about. Making the last corner around the trees now. Why?

Hendrix: Just asking because even though I would love to stay here the rest of the day, I need to get home and help fix my brother's motorcycle.

Me: Okay, I'm coming. Get a can of soda and a blanket out for me. I'm freezing out here!

Hendrix: Okay weirdo. It's not even that cold.

I put my phone away by slipping it into my pocket as I walked up to Secret Spot and walked through the front entryway. Involuntary shivers went down my spine as the cold wind seeped into my bones. The walls of the house did nothing at all to ease the cold. Hopefully, Hendrix would have brought a heater and hooked it up to the generator.

"Well look who made it! The freezing weirdo," Hendrix said throwing a thick and fuzzy gray wool blanket at me.

"Really?" I ask glaring at him but wrapping myself in the blanket nonetheless.

"Who pissed in your cheerios this morning?" he asked patting the spot next to him on the mattress.

"Haha very clever. At least it's warmer up here than it is down there," I grumble out going over and sitting down next to Hendrix.

"So what's on your mind that needs to be released?" he asked putting his head in my lap looking up at me with cheerful eyes. Right now, he looks like a puppy that wants a tummy rub.

"I. . . I just feel more confused now than ever," I confess to him stroking his hair knowing that's what he wants. Plus I might get him to talk more.

"About what?"

"Just everything really. I'm sure now more than ever that something important happened in the time I can't remember. The only thing is that anytime someone tries to explain something to me, they leave out a detail which throws everything off making everything much harder to understand. So now I have pieces that can't be put together."

Hendrix stays silent for a moment thinking about it and absorbing what I said before speaking. "Do you think that parts are being left out because they think you know it already or that someone else will tell you?"

"I'm not too sure."

"Well, what do you know for sure? Like what solid facts do you know for sure happened?"

"I know for sure that Sage and I were dating, I know that my grades in school improved, I had different clothing styles in my closet leading me to believe something changed, I was apparently friends with Anais, Callista, Izzie, and Elizabeth, and I know that something happened between our group and my parents," I tell him counting the things off on my fingers.

"Now what behavior of people you know causes you to question everything?"

"My aunt Heather, my parents, Jevan, and . . . you." After I stopped talking, everything was silent. Both of us weren't moving or speaking, and the only sound that could be heard was the hum of the generator and heater. Other than that, it was so quiet that you could hear a pin drop.

"What do you mean by me?" he asked sitting up and facing me.

"Well. . .you've been a. . . how do I say this so that it gets across. You've been leaving small notes around for me to find in my house. They all say things like 'This isn't you,' or 'You're not alone in this,' which I find is weird. I don't understand it. What's the point?" I ask him moving myself away from him slightly.

"For you to find them," he says nonchalantly as if this wasn't a big deal.

"And then do what with them?" I shout out getting frustrated.

"Put the pieces together," he says calmly making me even more angry.

"Don't you think it'd be a whole hell of a lot easier for me if you would just tell me point blank what you are trying to get across?!" I scream standing up in a fit of range.

"Calm down Kade. It's not that big of a deal!" he exclaims holding his hands out in a from of surrender.

"It's not a big deal? IT'S NOT A BIG DEAL? THIS IS A BIG FUCKING DEAL YOU IDIOT! THIS IS MY LIFE!" I yell at him kicking the mattress he was on across the room.

"I'm trying to help you!" he screams standing up and finally starting to yell at me.

"HELP ME? YOU AREN'T DOING SHIT!"

"I don't have to be doing this you know! I'm not required to leave you notes; I'm doing it because I want to!"

"INSTEAD OF DOING THAT WHY DON'T YOU JUST TELL ME! Why can't you just tell me? I'm so confused, and I don't know what to make of my life anymore," I say with my voice cracking at the end. By this point, I'm crying with thick heavy streaming down my face.

"Because I can't. It's not the right time. There was something that happened that I don't want to tell you. Maybe this accident happened for a reason," he says coming near me trying to pull me into him.

"What are you hiding?" I ask him moving out of his reach.

"I'm not hiding anything I swear. Please Kade! Trust me!"

"I-I don't know if I can anymore. Don't touch me!"

"Kade please. I'm begging you. You have to trust me. There are things you need to figure out yourself and not have anyone tell you. I swear I'm telling you the truth. I swear I'm not trying to hurt you." Now, Hendrix was crying and is on his knees holding on to my arm so that I can't leave.

"But I don't understand," I whine out trying to get my arm out of his grasp.

"I know, and I'm sorry. I can't tell you because I don't know much myself, but I can tell you what I know. Please. You have to listen and trust me Kade. Please I'm begging you!"

"You can tell me what I need to know?"

"I can try."

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Author's Note: Sorry about this not getting updated when it was supposed to. I had a medical issue to take care of. Hopefully since I have this week off from school, I can get stuff written and typed so that everything can be updated on schedule. If you haven't checked out my new book Runaways, please do so as I updated it today also. Love you all! XOXO!

~jnicoleb1234 out!