Sparkler Snapshots

XXXIII | Bonfire Fright

"A desperate disease requires a dangerous remedy." – Guy Fawkes

Date: November 5th, 2017

Occasion:
Guy Fawkes
Bonfire Night

Countries: U.K., Canada, Australia, New Zealand, Caribbean Nations

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XXXIII | Bonfire Fright

"Hello?"

"How's your heavy lifting going?"

"Fantastic, spectacular, marvellous. Especially after I dropped five kilograms worth of fireworks on my throbbing foot. The pain really added another dimension to my day."

"Ha, no wonder. You're about as muscular as a string bean."

"Why don't you try it, rather than sitting on your lazy arse at home?"

"Joel, as your sister, I'm obliged to make your life as miserable as can be. The easiest way for me to do that is to let you do the heavy lifting."

"I wish our parents used protection the second time."

"I wish they used protection the first time."

"Are you going to come to the park or not? It's already getting dark outside."

"I'm embracing the darkness from indoors."

"We're going to light the bonfire and set off the fireworks soon. I know you won't want to miss the explosions."

"Ah, I see you've picked up on my pyromania! How quaint."

"Trust me, your personality adds enough fuel to the fire as it is."

"I'll take that as a compliment!"

"It certainly was not one."

"Anyway, mum's taken the new car for a spin, and you took the other one, so I can't drive there even if I wanted to."

"Cassie, it's a ten minute walk away."

"Time is of the essence. Driving would take much less time."

"Considering you spend your time scrolling through shitposts on Tumblr and reading smutty fanfictions, you can't say much about the matter."

"You take that back! Smutty fanfictions are my sole source of joy in this dark world."

"I'm very concerned to hear that."

"Ah, no worries, I'm just messing with you. Dank memes are high up on the list too."

"Changing the subject, how long am I supposed to ice my foot?"

"Until you get frostbite and your foot falls off."

"I don't think ice packs do that."

"Meh, I can wish."

"How many branches do I need to gather for the bonfire?"

"As many as you can find? I don't know, I don't have a PhD in bonfire building."

"Fine, any tips of any kind? Any at all?"

"You should invest in a better razor. The number of nicks and cuts along your jawline is a one-way ticket to Infection-ville. You're probably a theme park for bacteria."