Sparkler Snapshots

XVIII | Nice Blokes and Dad Jokes

"Any man can be a father, but it takes someone special to be a dad."
– Anne Geddes

Date:
Third Sunday of June (US, UK, CAN)
First Sunday in September (AUS, NZ)
Second Sunday of August (BRA)
December 5th (THA)

Occasion: Father's Day

Country: Worldwide

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XVIII | Nice Blokes and Dad Jokes

"This is Westerden Optometrist, what are your–"

"Tristan! Are you there?"

"Dad? Why are you out of breath? Are you running a marathon, even though your daily exercise consists of walking to the fridge a couple of times?"

"Are you saying I'm non-athletic?"

"You're usually on the verge of collapse after reaching for the TV remote."

"Changing channels is enough of a struggle as it is, Tristan, don't make fun of it."

"Dad, why did you call me?"

"Can't a father have a civilised conversation with his son if he feels like it?"

"Not when the father is three rooms away from the son."

"Ooh, savage. What do you youngsters call it nowadays? Roasting? A burn?"

"Dad, please don't."

"Ah yes, burn! You roasted me like a turkey. Does that make me sound hip?"

"Not in a billion light years."

"Why you gotta be so rude?"

"Don't you know I'm– argh, dad, stop changing the subject! Faith, stop laughing. He's not funny."

"Oh, is your girlfriend there with you?"

"No, Dad, I named my desk Faith."

"Is that sarcasm? I don't do sarcasm."

"You can't do sarcasm."

"You can if you–"

"Don't finish that sentence!"

"–hang around sarcastic people."

"Oh, that's what you meant."

"What were you thinking?"

"Um, er, look! A rainbow unicorn wearing a fez. What a sight!"

"Kiddo, you're on the phone. I can't see your imaginary rainbow unicorn."

"Pshhh, phone? What's that?"

"A phone is a handheld device that allows individuals to make calls."

"Yes, thank you for being a human dictionary, captain obvious."

"I actually searched that up on my phone, but I appreciate the compliment, son."

"Why'd you call me son? You never call me son. What did you do?"

"Well–"