"You can't plan a trip to Burning Man and truly go there." – John Alejandro King
Date: August 27th – September 4th, 2017
Occasion: Burning Man
Country: United States
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XXVI | Virgin No More
Scene I. Middle of nowhere.
Enter JENNY and CORBYN, a brother and sister duo who were dragged to the Burning Man festival against their own will, and are on a road trip to the Black Rock Desert. Neither give a damn about burning men of any sort. THEIR PARENTS start singing. Jenny and Corbyn groan in unison.
JENNY
Are you purposely trying to make my ears bleed?
CORBYN
You do that to me every day with your shower singing, so this is just payback.
JENNY
Aren't you forgetting that you're listening to this ear-splitting crap too?
PARENTS
I will alwaaaaaays loooooove youuuuuu!
Corbyn and Jenny cringe because the former is into alternative and rap music while the latter adores every song on the pop charts. Whitney Houston does not fit into either of those categories. Even though the parents try to be relatable, they'd listen to music from the Stone Age if they could.
CORBYN
Ugh, old people music!
PARENTS
The wheels on the car go round and–
CORBYN
Mom, dad?
DAD
Oh, so now you've finally decided to address us like human beings? About time. We've waited seventeen whole years–
CORBYN
Well, you're going to have to wait a lot longer, because if you two stop singing nursery rhymes or whatever, I'll make sure the wheels on the car never go round again.
DAD
–Corbyn, and you know how hard it is to raise someone who smashed a plate of mashed potatoes on their classmate's face?
JENNY
I helped!
DAD
Shush, delinquent. Let me rant like a normal parent. Anyway, you two've been kicked out of school five times! Each! We've tried private schools, public schools, boarding schools, we accidentally contacted a whore college–
CORBYN
Well, at least we got them to stop singing.
JENNY
Don't be so sure. Mom still seems to be in the mood to belt out some more opera style Whitney Houston.
DAD
–Over two hundred pages of paperwork, a marred reputation, a lady who still has it out for you guys ever since you spray painted bad words on the walls of her house–
JENNY
That crazy lady made her cats attack us!
CORBYN
Yeah, I still have the scars! Cats are malicious, but then again, so is Jenny.
YOU ARE READING
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