"The heart of an Irishman is nothing but his imagination." – George Bernard Shaw
Date: March 17th, 2018
Occasion: Saint Patrick's Day
Country: Ireland (also celebrated in many other parts of the world)
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XLVII | The Shamrock Scam
"Hello?"
"Hey! How ya?"
"Good, I guess? Also, not to sound rude or anything, but who the hell are you?"
"Just a survey guy, doing my job, hehe!"
"On St. Patrick's Day? You know half the people you're calling are at church, right?"
"Why would they be at church?"
"How do you not know? Can you even call yourself an Irishman?"
"I can barely call myself a man."
"What was that?"
"What? Nothing! You heard nothing. Must've been the rain."
"It hasn't rained for two days across this entire country. Are you even in Ireland?"
"Of course I am, dummy!"
"Did you just call me a dummy? Are you a kid? Is this a prank call?"
"No pranking, good sir! At least, not yet, hehehe."
"What was that last part?"
"Oh, nothing! Must've been the wind."
"You know that wind has been scarce around here too, right?"
"Of course I know, dummy! Anywho, your extensive knowledge of St. Patrick's Day makes you perfect for my quiz, hehe."
"Survey? Come on, I just put on my coat. I need to get to church."
"Please stay? Pleeeeeeeeease?"
"I really don't have the time."
"Pretty please with Irish whiskey truffles on top?"
"I do love me some whiskey truffles, but no, and stop trying to bribe me!"
"If you stay, you get a special prize, hehe! How's that for a bribe, hmm?"
"What's the prize, a gold star sticker? No thanks."
"How about a pot of gold?"
"I'll believe you have a pot of gold when pigs fly."
"Do you want to see a pig fly? I can take you to a special effects department, if you like!"
"I– what? No, I meant that I'll never believe you have a pot of gold, no matter what you say!"
"Fine, if you don't trust me, do you trust in your own knowledge of St. Patrick's Day?"
"What the hell does that mean?"
"I'm talking about the quiz, dummy! If you get my questions correct, then you win a pot of gold. Or are you too chicken to try it?"
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