Sparkler Snapshots

I | Abby's Declassified Prank Survival Guide

"Fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice, shame on me." – Unknown

Date: April 1st, 2017

Occasion:
April Fools' Day
All Fools' Day
Poisson d'Avril

Country: Worldwide

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I | Abby's Declassified Prank Survival Guide

Welcome, dear readers! I'm Abigail Gray, Abby for short, and it gives me great pleasure, along with five cappuccinos consumed within twelve hours, to introduce you to my own declassified prank survival guide!

Now, if you're expecting some sappy WikiHow tutorial with rainbows and unicorns and everyone being nice to each other like they were in middle school, you've come to the wrong place. Don't forget to push the door on your way out, because the last person who tried to pull ended up with a torn hamstring and two days in the emergency room.

However, if you're itching for some awesome pranks, then read onwards, brave knight.

Alright, let's cut to the chase. Ladies and gentlemen, it's come to my attention that April Fools has faded away in the hearts of many people today, and that's just not acceptable. To alleviate this shameful development, I've taken of my spare time and energy obtained from sugar rushes, to develop a list of ten prank ideas.

Was that announcement anticlimactic? Perhaps. In my defence, I only defined it as a guide because my parents were showing me re-runs of Ned's Declassified School Survival Guide, and what can I say? I'm hooked.

Now, enough with the chit-chat. Let's get started. Cue dramatic music.

So, people say that April Fools' Day is all about fun, games, and joyful spirits, but come on, let's be honest with each other. It's actually one of the only days of the year that we have a legitimate reason to be a prick to our friends, family, and colleagues. This means that you have the chance to get back at that dickbiscuit who dumped you, or play a cheeky prank on your acquaintances. It goes so many ways, and I'm going to show you some prank ideas to make the most of it.

THE FIRST comes gift-wrapped in a pile of post-it notes. Classic, isn't it? Buy a dozen packs of those suckers, cover every surface of the victim's workspace that you can see, and voilà! They have the prettiest desk ever. Honestly, you're probably doing them a favour. It's simple but effective, and if you have loads of time to burn, give it a shot.

Now that I recall, my dad's friend once told me about a girl at his school who insulted his deceased father. Naturally, that turned his friend into a rampaging teenaged Godzilla. So, said friend decided to do the post-it note trick by covering the offender's car with exam papers, since that girl wasn't known for her stunning smarts. If that's not retribution at its finest, then I don't know what is.

THE SECOND? Oh, how funny you ask. In fact, I almost peed myself laughing at this one, which really isn't the best idea in this context. Anyhow, next time April Fools' comes around and you're feeling sneaky, try replacing every toilet roll you can find with a roll of duct tape. This is a mean one, but there's no denying that the horrified shouts when one realises that they have nothing to wipe with, are priceless.