The Baby Blue Bentley {Russell Westbrook}

Chapter XXXIV

"Monica, I have a whole search party out for you, the police, everyone," I walked inside. Russell's words were just blurred out. It was as if I could hear him, but it was background noise. "I come home and there is a pool of blood on the floor and you're gone. You can't do that to me. Where the fuck have you been? I have been so worried, Jesus Christ. I couldn't get ahold of anyone in your family. What have you been doing? Are you okay?" I dropped my keys onto the counter, walked past a distressed Russell, took off my shoes and walked over to the couch, falling face first into the cushions.

I heard him walk over to where I was. I didn't want to hear him hound me with questions. I wanted nothing more than to be alone right now. I actually wanted one more thing, for my sister to be alright and for some sleep. He didn't touch me or say anything, but I knew he was standing above me. I knew he was there. I felt so sick and I didn't want Russell to bother me right now. Yes, I knew he cared, but right now, it just wasn't the time. The couch shifted as he sat next to me. "You can't even imagine how terrifying it was for me to come home and see all that blood on the floor, Mo. I thought someone had somehow gotten into the house and killed you... or raped you or taken you. I jumped to conclusions and thought about the worst because that's what I always do for the people I love most. I swear if it was Nina, or any other girl, I wouldn't have felt the same. I never have felt that way before. If honestly... I don't even know how to describe it. It felt like someone had ripped my heart out of my chest. I can't... lose you," His voice cracked and I wondered if he was going to cry. I had never seen Russell cry before. My face was still in the cushions of the couch as he continued, and began to play with my hair. "I thought about you... dying... be tortured... and I fucking panicked to the max, I flipped my shit. You don't understand how much I love you. I swear... Seriously, I'm never going to let you out of my sight. I can't... I can't..."

I reached for his hand and I interlaced our fingers. "I'm sorry," I muttered into the cushion, my voice muffled, "I love you so much." I rubbed my thumb up and down his hand and took a deep breath.

"Monica, where are you?" He asked, rhetorically. I turned my face over to him, exhaust filled my eyes.

"I'm right here," I tried to give him a small smile but I couldn't find the strength to do so. I was drained.

He shook his head and stared into my eyes, "I'm always here. I'm always right here. But you're always leaving me." I took my hand away from his grasp and pushed myself upwards. I crossed my legs and faced him.

"I'm not constantly leaving you..." I trailed off, shaking my head. "Is that what you think? I'm just... busy."

"Yeah, and I'm an NBA player, so I guess I'm not," He added, sarcastically and shrugged.

"That's not what I—"

He interrupted me before I could finish, "I get it. You're just you and I'm me. How we deal with our lives, well, we do it differently to say the least."

"When I came out here," I tucked a strand of hair behind my ear, "I never imagined I would meet someone like you. I thought I would still be with Sean. I would come out here, no drama, get out and go back home. Meeting you, it was a blessing. It truly was. If I was never to come out here, I would have never met you. And thinking about never meeting you, it sends chills down my spine. Now? I could never imagine life without someone like you. Without you. So, yeah. It sucks that I have to deal with my crazy ass family. I'm sorry you're stuck with me and my drama. But, for now, please, just let me be."

"Monica, we are in a relationship. We are supposed to tell each other everything. Tell me what happened," He strained his voice filled with anger and irritation.

"Desiree is in the hospital and I don't know if she's going to be okay!" I wailed. Just the words tumbling past my lips, sent tears down my face. "Okay? That's what you wanted to hear. I'm fine, I'm good. Okay?"