The Baby Blue Bentley {Russell Westbrook}

Chapter XLI

I breathed in and out uneasily as I cleaned up all the broken glass. This was not good. I was not acting like myself and Russell was sure to pick up on it. Soon. As I was cleaning up the room, my phone began to ring and I was really hoping it wasn't Sean. I grabbed it to see "Desiree" sprawled across the screen. "Shit," I cursed under my breath. I answered the phone reluctantly, sighing into the phone, making her aware I was on the other end.

"We have to talk. Now," she ordered.

"What is this about?"

"I think you know what the fuck this is about!" She whisper-yelled into the phone. Shit. Sean told her, didn't he? So much for having a good relationship with my sister. "Monica, what were you thinking! Sean? Really? Your ex and my fiancé?"

"D, I'm really sorry," I came out and said, "But can we please talk about this later, I'm a little busy right now."

"When are you telling Russell? And how?" She barked. I was taken aback by her rude and demanding tone.

"Can you calm the hell down? Stop jumping to conclusions. We can talk about this later," I tried to reason with her through the phone. I could tell she was not having it. "I just got home, D.... please calm down. It's really not the time."

"Fine!" She spat like a little girl, "We are talking about this tomorrow. No bullshit, Monica." Desiree rarely called me by my full name. I knew I was in deeper shit than I thought I was. Scratch that, if shit was three feet deep, I was six feet under. There was absolutely nothing I could do about it either. I dropped the sweeping pan and burst into a fit of tears. I was praying Russell didn't hear me. Of course he did. I put my elbows up onto the dresser, putting my head in my hands and crying hysterically.

Russell came into the room, wrapping me into a hug, "Baby... What's wrong? Are you okay?" I wrapped my arms around his built, beautiful body and it made me cry even harder. I would be forgetting this feeling soon enough, the feeling of him. The thought of losing Russell made me cry even harder. I couldn't lose him, I can't. What did I do? Fuck, what the hell did I do? "I'll clean it up. I promise, I will. Are you okay?"

"No, I'm not okay," I whispered into his chest and continued to cry.

"Why are you so upset? You heard that your Mom got out of prison, didn't you?" I pushed him away from me and searched his face to see if he was joking.

"What? What did you just say?" I asked him, wiping tears off of my face.

"I thought you knew..." he trailed off. "I'm sorry." I couldn't believe this. First off, how the hell did Russell know, but I did not? I was so confused.

"It's whatever," I muttered. I didn't want Russell to know my true feelings, so I didn't let them show. Why did I always manage to get myself in such a big ass mess? If I would've just stayed home none of this would have happened. Russell didn't know about the apartment and he sure as hell doesn't know I slept with Sean, let alone saw him. Russell had urged me to get a restraining order against him, but I was going to be honest, I didn't have the heart to. He did horrible things to me, but I did love him and I could not deny that. I didn't want him out of my life forever. My life was crumbling before me. My relationship with Desiree was in jeopardy now because of my relations with Sean and now my mother was out of jail? I knew sure as hell she was going to come back at me with a vengeance. I didn't even know how she could have gotten out. Bail, most likely. And my idiot father was probably the first one to rush to her defense and bail her out.

"Hello?" Russell's voice faded back into my consciousness as I realized he had been talking to me and I had been paying him the least attention. "You need to rest and please sit down, Mo. You don't look well."

"I'm fine," I snapped. I pressed my hand to my forehead and tried to put pressure on my pounding headache. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to snap."

"Are you sure you're feeling okay?" He asked me again, putting his hand softly on my hip. "Please just lay down. You're worrying me." Without even holding back, I erupted into tears right next to Russell. I hated crying. Almost as much as I hated admitting when someone else was right and I was wrong. But this was all too much. What did I even do to deserve all this? "Mo, talk to me right now. What is wrong?"

"I can't do this, Russ! I can't do this!" I wailed, pushing my hands up to my face. "How can a horrible person like my mother get to live better than me. I deal with so much bullshit from everyone, and I feel like I can never get a break! My mother killed someone, yet my sister still manages to work against me and get her out of jail. She took an innocent girl's life. How is that fair?"

"Life isn't fair, Mo," Russell interjected.

"You're right, life really isn't fucking fair," I cursed, tears stinging my eyes. "I think... I still have feelings for Sean."

Russell stared at me blankly when the words left my lips. He studied me, as I saw tears forming in his eyes. He held his hand up, then clenched it into a fist by his side. He took a deep breath, his nostrils flaring, veins popping from his neck. "Why do you say that?" Tears were running down my cheeks, as I reached up to grab Russell's hands in mine. He yanked them back. He was so angry. "Mo... fucking tell me."

"Because... because we slept together in LA," I blurted.