Liz Whats Wrong With You?

MARSHMALLOWS.

"You promise you won't flip out or think less of me?" I slid up to look at Alex and leaned against the tree behind us. He looked over at me and placed a hand to my cheek, running his thumb gently over the soft skin.

"I would never think less of you. Even if you wanted me to." He released my cheek, leaving it cold.

"When I was thirteen I was raped by a family friend. He did it with a knife in my face to keep me from moving. It slipped and sliced my chest. Left a nasty scar. That's the reason I did this." I turned my leg to him so he could see the eighteen cuts that laid just below my shorts. He took me off guard when he bent and placed a few kisses over the now healed, white scars. A tear escaped my eye and rolled down my cheek before catching on my hoodie.

"I think you're beautiful either way. You're beautiful with or without your scars. They just make you who you are. That's the past though so don't beat yourself up over it. I will never think less of you. And about that guy who raped you. It wasn't your fault. He'll eventually get what he deserves. I love you Liz."

"Awe. I never thought I'd say this but you, Alexander William Gaskarth, just might be the sweetest person on earth." I laughed weakly as more tears spilled over my cheeks. He wiped a couple away, pulling me into his lap and kissing my forehead. I laid my head in the crook of his neck and left wet kisses on his tender skin.

"And you, Lizzy Pandora Biersack just might be the love of my life." He wrapped his arms tightly around my shivering body. He set his head on my shoulder and I closed my eyes.

"I'm really sorry I've put you through a lot of trouble." I mumbled into his neck.

"But you know what? You've put me through more happiness then you have sadness or any other form of emotion." I smiled as he playfully nipped at my clothed shoulder. Didn't hurt but it was cute that he tried.

I leaned off him and straightened my beanie. I quickly stole a kiss before jumping up and running back to the bus. Gosh. Now thinking about it tour ended in two months. Then Alex and the guys could move into a house for a while. Jordan planned on moving in with Jake, Andy and Ella, Jakes fiancé. So I decided to ask Alex what to do. I mean I didn't have Nanook anymore. When Hunter moved to London with Harry and the girls I asked of she'd take Nanook. She gladly accepted it. I knew she would since she'd asked every day for months after we brought him home for me to give him to her. I had denied until now. I flopped down on the couch beside Rian.

"Hey... So... How's it going?" I smiled at Rian. He looked back blankly.

"What do you want?" He asked.

"For me to lose weight apparently." Alex wheezed, plopping down beside me.

"Oh me? Never." I joked. "You guys are moving in together after this tour right?" I asked looking over at Zack.

"Yea why?" Jack sat down on the other side of Rian with something to his side. I caught glimpses of white. What was he hiding?

"Can I stay with you guys? I mean Alex and I do date and it would be awkward staying in a house with my brother and his soon to be wife plus my ex and his fiancé. And I promise I won't pee on the pretty carpet." They laughed.

"That's fine. Sounds like fun." Jack said with his mouth full of something.

"What are you eating?" I asked, leaning over Rian to see beside Jack.

"Nofin'." He moved over slightly. I leaned further, until I was basically laying across Rian Before I saw them. They had marshmallows. MARSHMALLOWS. Marsh to the mallows. Soft, sticky heaven. What am I doing?

"MARSHMALLOW TIME!" I yelled, grabbing the bag of marshmallows and tumbling to the floor. I laid on my back, shoving the giant balls of sugary goodness into my mouth. (Hunter would die hearing that)

"Ishhhh mashmawows!" I flailed a little before covering my powdered face and smiling.

"And she's content huh?" Rian laughed.

"That was mine!" Jack whined.

"Not anymore." Alex chuckled at me as I blushed.

I rolled over on my tummy and began crawling toward Alex's bunk.

"What are you doing?" Alex quickly questioned.

"Going to eat marshmallows in bed. Plus Hunter is supposed to Skype me. She'll be here next week for the wedding. And we're getting smashed." I laughed, jumping up and sliding into his bunk. I didn't hear him follow so I just laid down on my stomach with the bag of marshmallows on the pillow beside me. The Skype call came through and a tired looking, but still beautiful as always, Hunter popped up on the screen.

"Hey." She squealed.

"Hey beautiful. How's everything going?" I asked.

"Great. London is beautiful. I love living with Harry. And the girls are so quiet when they sleep."

"I'm so glad. Oh and I've been meaning to ask Alex something." I whispered.

"What's that?"

"When he's gonna marry me. I don't wanna rush him but Hunter after Justin and Matt broke my heart I'm scared. And honestly he gives me so much confidence. I don't feel ugly. I'm like 95 pounds so I've never felt fat I mean heck remember when we used to get picked on about supposedly being anorexic?"

"Yes. I do. And we had that big spat about you not defending yourself and me and you both cut on our hips?"

"Yea but we never told anybody. It was our secret remember?"

"Yes." She smiled. We shared so many things that people didn't know. Only Jordan, Jami, Andy and Hunter knew about my first time cutting. The first was my thigh after the rape. The second was during that time that only Hunter knew and I did it over being bullied. The last time was after seeing Ray again.

"I'm craving donuts." Hunter said making a unnatural noise.

"Calm down. Don't wet yourself." I laughed. "Go get some donuts. It's late anyways. I'm gonna lay down. Love you." I made a kissy face at her.

"Love you too bye." She blew me a kiss and I caught it before hanging up. Alex scared me by climbing in and sitting on my butt.

"Oh my. You're heavy. Sure you don't need a jog around the neighborhood?" I joked.

"No. But I do need a kiss from my amazingly beautiful girlfriend." I flipped over and looked up at him. His soft brown hair was doing the floppy thing that I loved. I ran my fingers through it as he hovered over me, kissing along my jaw line. He sent shivers down my spine when he kissed the spot behind my ear. He knew he hit it to because he pulled away smirking.

"Found it." He grinned.

"Whatever. How do you know?" I burned with embarrassment.

"Because you never turn that red unless proven wrong."

He knew me to well. And I wanted to ask him about marriage. But I was scared. Honestly I could see us being married with a little girl. Maybe even a little boy. Living in L.A. or in a house in Cali. I smiled and he looked at me funny.

"What's got you smiling?"

"Nothing. Just thinking."

"Oh and I heard what you told Hunter. I do want to marry you. But you have to wait. I have a date set in mind. Not to soon but soon enough just be patient. I'm not going anywhere." He planted a heavy but gentle kiss to my lips then pulled away. I bit my lip and smiled. He definitely was a button pusher.