The New Neighbor

Chapter 20

Ashley's POV

I wake up in the waiting room. I look around seeing only about 2-4 other people. I stand up walking down to the room Luke was in.

I open the door to see him.

Still no news that he's woken up.

I go over to the side of his bed sitting down. I look at his lifeless body laying there.

I take his cold hand into mine.

I sigh. I feel tears in my eyes but o hold them back.

"I-I know this is my fault" I say

I move in my seat a little.

"I j-j just don't know how you could do that to yourself. Just because I wasn't there. I want you to be awake. I want you to be happy. I want you to hold me and tell me everything is okay" I say "I want you to be okay. I don't know. I'm confused." I say

"I'm sorry" I say tears running down my face.

I stand up running out of the room. I quickly go out of the hospital and outside.

I start to get anxiety.

I go up against a wall sliding down it. Tears quickly running down my face.

I start to breath heavily and shaking.

"This was all my fault. This was all my fault. This was all my fault." I repeat over and over again.

Someone comes out to see me and I notice it's Liz.

She runs towards me. She kneels down next to me.

"Honey, calm down" she says holding my arm.

"This was all my fault" I say again.

"Not its not. It never was" she says "it's nobody's fault"

I breath heavily trying to catch a real breath.

Tears slowly stop and I look at Liz.

"I have to go home" I tell her

I can't be here right now.

I quickly get off walking quickly.

I get home and I push passed the door closing it.

I run to the stairs falling.

I gasp in pain but I run upstairs. I get to the bathroom and I close the door.

I quickly go through the the cabinets. I couldn't find what I was looking for. I just couldn't.

Then I see it. The small, shiny, sharp object that I was looking for. Right there.

I pick it up and hold it with two fingers. I look at it.

I roll my sleeve up and place it on my skin.

I look at it. Feeling nothing. Till I come to my senses and I throw the blade across the bathroom.

I couldn't do it. I couldn't put scars on my body.

I start to cry again. I start to feel the pain again.

I lay on the floor tears spilling out of my eyes.

I lay there.

I close my eyes softly and I wait until my body fully relaxed.

I drift into a sleep where everything is numb.

I couldn't feel a thing.

I don't have dreams.

I just sleep.

I'm so sorry that I haven't posed for awhile. I've been really busy. I've been going through a lot. My parents put me through a lot. I hope that right now it is done.