The Light Of Konoha

Late Night Confessions

Gaara's P.O.V.

It's been several days since the beginning of this journey.

Several days of travelling through thick marsh and dense greenery.

As the temple loomed nearer and nearer, I noticed the subtle changes in Aki.

To the ordinary person, he'd seem to be smiling and laughing along with the team as Izumi-San dived into every mud puddle she could see.

He'd seem to be celebrating in joy when Kiba returned with tonight's meal hung over his shoulder, or when Lee would announce he'd successfully kicked through the trunk of two metre thick tree.

Not even his relaxed expression as he petted Akamaru or Byakko in his fox form could fool my constant watchful eye.

As we came closer and closer to our destination; I saw the bags under his eyes darken; the tightness of his expressions; the forceful smiles; the look of terror on his face when he lost focus and gazed into the distance, seeing things I couldn't possibly see.

And even now as I watched the team's peaceful slumber, I could see him writhing in fear and chanting in his unconsciousness.

"Red... Red... It's I-In my hair... On my clothes... O-On my hands...
Mummy...
...
Obsidian blade...
...
...
...
Please...
Wake up... Mummy..."

I listened intently, brow furrowed in concern, trying to make sense of the whispered words he uttered as his face contorted in pure fear.

These dreams had been happening ever since the beginning.
Every night I stood guard over the slumbering team, and every night he would scare himself awake.
He'd clutch his kimono tightly, smelling and feeling the fabric, searching for some kind of comfort.

And then he'd wander into the forests, walking aimlessly until morning where he'd return and pretend to be asleep as the others roused.

"Just a walk," he said each night as I asked him.

He wouldn't talk to me, he wouldn't confide in me.
And it hurt.

'I want his trust, I want him to rely on me... But he won't... And it's infuriating... Frustrating... It's tearing me up inside to see him acting so happy but falling apart within.'

I was so lost in my thoughts I barely heard him whisper as he stood and began walking away once again,
"Just a walk."

I snapped my head up, snarling, sand flying.

I surrounded him with it and dragged him to my side,
He was so tired and lifeless he didn't even scream or struggle.

I set him on the branch beside me, arms crossed.

"Talk," I growled, my feeling of powerlessness causing anger to bubble to the surface.

My anger faltered and diminished, however, when I saw Aki's expression.
His lower lip trembled and his eyes were glossed with unshed tears.

"I-I can't," he stuttered, voice breaking.

I grit my teeth and closed my eyes in anguish,
"Please, Aki... I feel so horrible inside when I see you like this and you won't let me help..."
I put a hand on his cheek,
"Please..."

Then the tears started to fall.
They ran in rivers down his cheeks,
"I'm so sorry, Gaara," he sobbed,
"I just can't... "

I sighed, pulling my hand away, my heart sinking to watch him weep so pitifully.
"Then tell me why... Please...
I need to know... Why I'm not good enough..."