Impact (H.S. AU) (COMPLETED)

30 * US * 30

HARRY

It starts the same as it always does. We're in the car. My car. My old car. It's dark, pitch black, midnight. I've had three beers and a shot of whiskey at his house, we're drunk off our asses. It'll be fun Leo says. Yeah, you're right I say. They get in with us, Niall and Jason.

I look to my right to look at Leo, but it's not him. She turns in the passenger seat and leans over to me, kissing my lips softly like she does. My body feels like it's on fire. She's laughing at something I've said. Her eyes are so golden and bright as she scrunches her face up at my next remark. I've said something crude as she playfully punches my arm but then leans over to kiss my cheek again.

This is wrong, this isn't what's supposed to happen.

Everything's going so fast, what do I do? She's so beautiful, damn she's amazing. Her hair is pulled up in some messy contraption of a bun on her head and she's wearing a pair of sweatpants and my t-shirt. Her skin looks more pale than usual in the light of the moon coming in through the windshield. She's laughing again, and I can tell that I am too.

I know what's coming, I try to warn her, but she won't stop laughing. I try to keep control of the car. I'm yelling at my younger self to keep my eyes on the road. I won't stop laughing. I'm moving so slow; my driving is so sloppy. I'm swerving and laughing and holding her hand across the console. She looks so happy, but I know what's coming.

It happens so fast.

I swerve across the line and hit the pickup truck head on. I grab her and protect her with everything I have. She's screaming and crying, gripping onto me in any way she can. I'm yelling at her to move to the other side of the car. I know that's not the end. She can't move, she's too in shock. I shield her entire body with mine and pepper her skin with a million kisses. I know it's only a few seconds until the next hit, but it feels like an eternity.

I love you.

She says it over and over into my mouth as she kisses me again and again. I feel her tears raining on my cheeks, or maybe those are mine.

Another car hits us and I feel guilty. I know exactly how this goes but she has no idea. She doesn't know that two more cars hit us. She doesn't know that it ends in a five-car pileup. She doesn't know that the passenger doesn't make it out alive and the driver goes on the rest of his life with a hole in his chest for letting his very best friend die. She doesn't know...it's not supposed to be her.

The last hit comes, two cars this time. She's thrown against the window. She's bleeding. Her head is bleeding. There's blood on the window. Her nose is bleeding, her mouth is bleeding, she's bleeding everywhere. My heart hurts, my chest hurts, my whole stomach is in my throat. I'm crying now, her shirt is soaked as I lean over her and shout at her to answer me. I scream her name.

"Jess, baby, answer me!"

She's gone. She was gone as soon as it started. I know how this goes.

My mind is tearing me apart from the inside out. It's not supposed to be her, she was never a part of this. It was Leo, it was him. Would I be able to live with myself if she was? She's so pale and lifeless and still. She's still bleeding, everything is red. My hand is red from holding her head against my chest. She's gone. I can't accept it. I refuse. I'm yelling and screaming and crying. I place my hand against her chest but there's no heartbeat. I'm hysterical.

I love you.

She said it so many times. Her heart doesn't beat anymore. The only heart that's ever beat for me.