Wc: 4887
Enjoy my lovelies❤
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A girl.
Another girl greenie.
You and your best friend, Teresa, instantly high fived when the newcomer rose out of the box. You were in the Glade for a year before Teresa had popped up and you two quickly formed a strong friendship. It was only five months since then and another lady finally joined the group.
The greenie was beautiful. She had ginger locks that cascaded almost to her waist in gentle curls and her bright green eyes were full of intrigue as it scanned through the crowd of teenagers. Freckles danced on her full cheeks and her plump lips in a smile. She was probably only a bit taller than you.
As the only two other girls of the glade,you and your best friend and approached the greenie with smiles on your faces. Her eyes seemed to widen when they fell on you both.
"Hi, we're the only two other girls around." Teresa said, stopping in front of her.
You stepped next to your boyfriend, Newt who was also the one who had helped her up, and laced your hands with his. You noticed his head snap to your direction, as if shocked to see you, and it made you chuckle slightly before you both turned to the greenie. "I'm Y/N and this is Teresa. We're so happy to see another girl around." you smiled.
The greenie looked you up and down as she nibbled on her bottom lip before she nodded at you, "It's nice to meet you." she chirps.
"If you ever need any help, just let us know." you said gently, remembering how you had helped Teresa when she first arrived.
You looked at your best friend who was smiling at you, obviously remembering the same thing. "Yeah, if any of these shanks bother you, you tell us, alright?" she smirks.
The greenie giggled as she looked past you two girls and at the other Gladers, a sweet smile forming on her lips, "I'm sure they won't... right?" her eyes fell on Newt's a little longer than others but you didn't really notice.
"Y-yeah, I'm sure." your boyfriend responded and you smiled at him as he looked at the greenie. You loved how Newt was always so protective of every Glader, and so gentle as well. He was always the one greeting the greenies and touring them around - he was the only one who could really do it without scaring the klunk out of them. You laughed in your head when the picture of Teresa or Minho doing the greenie greetings popped in your mind.
Hearing Newt's hand accented voice from yours broke you out of your thoughts, "I-I'll be giving you the tour, uh... uhmm... d-do you remember your name?" Newt asked.
"Moira." she said quickly. It surprised you that she remembered her name already. It was a bit rare, most of you couldn't remember until a couple hours or days after.
Newt smiled back at her, "That's wonderful." he breathed, "Welcome to the Glade, Moira."
You nodded at her in agreement to what Newt said, not noticing the suspicious look Teresa had on her face. You gave your boyfriend's hand a squeeze, causing him to turn to you just like earlier "Well, you should start giving her the tour now, love. Be nice, alright?" you joked with a grin and he let out a small laugh.
You tiptoed and kissed his cheek as the rest of the Gladers started to disperse, waving at Moira as they left. "See you at the bonfire, Moira! Tell me if he bothers you, alright?" you wink at her then playfully stick your tongue out at Newt who jokingly rolls his eyes at you but laughs as he frees his hands from yours and starts to lead Moira through the Greenie Tour.
You joined your best friend as the both of you walked back to the Med-hut. You had a smile on your face. Greenie days always put a smile on your face and it was honestly all because of Newt. You loved seeing him give the greenies tours, he always took such great care of everyone. It reminded you of when he first gave you a tour, when you had fallen for him first.
"She seems really nice." you chirped as you walked.
"Are you sure?" Teresa wasn't so convinced but you shrugged at her. Teresa was never the bubbliest person.
"Stop being a shank about it, come on, we've got inventory to do." You saw your friend roll her bright blue eyes and you laughed before heading into the Med-hut.
Teresa looked back at where Newt and Moira was at a distance. A scowl finding her face as she watched her ginger curls dance in the wind.
------
"Where's Newt?"
You looked up from your drink and your eyes met with the Asian's in front of you, "Minho!" you exclaimed with a grin.
He smiled back at you as he took a seat next to you on the ground where you sat, resting your back on a large log. "Newt's just with the new greenie - a new shebean! She seems really nice. Oh! And Thomas and Teresa are just getting some food."
Minho nodded, sipping on his own moonshine as he tried to find the crowd for the Second-In-Command. He found them quickly, her ginger hair illuminated by the bonfire. He watched them intently and you noticed, a smirk immediately playing at your lips.
You rested your arm on the log as you looked at their direction as well. "She's beautiful, isn't she? You like what you see?" you teased.
Minho almost choked on his drink, his eyes wide when they found yours and you laughed out loud. A smile found his lips as he watched you laugh, "Please, none of them could ever compare to you, Y/N." he cooed.
You dramatically placed a hand over your heart, letting a touched gasp escape your lips. "Oh, Minnie, that's so sweet." you said in exaggeration and he shook his head and rolled his eyes at you. It made you laugh even more.
"Newt still not back from Moira?" Teresa hissed, as she and Thomas came back with food in their hands. She handed one to you.
"Teresa, just because you're not the new girl anymore, it doesn't mean you have to be such a shank to her or my boyfriend for that matter." you said with a chuckle as you took the stick of meat from her and started eating.
"I just don't like her vibe, Y/N. Especially when she's with Newt." she said seriously, her blue eyes meeting yours. You could feel the other two boys' eyes on you too as they stayed quiet. In fact, it suddenly seemed like the whole Glade was quiet when she spoke.
You swallowed the food in your mouth and stared at her for a second. You quickly rolled your eyes and smiled at them, your eyes dancing between your three friends. "You guys are overreacting. Just cause this drop dead gorgeous shebean is spending time with Newt, it doesn't mean anything. That's his job. He does it with every greenie. Maybe she just has a lot of questions. I stayed with Newt all night when I first got here, so did Chuck!"
Thomas, who was usually quiet, spoke before Teresa could, "But Teresa has a-"
"No, Y/N's right. Shank's just doing his job." Minho interrupts sternly and you beamed at him as you nodded. The Asian was always on your side.
Teresa gave him a look and Minho returned one right back at her but you didn't notice as you glanced at Newt for a moment. He was laughing with her, as he pointed at different Gladers about.
You smiled. Newt was just doing his job. He was probably telling her about the different people of the Glade. Teresa was honestly going on about Moira and Newt for a a while, but nothing she said could scare you.
You loved Newt and you trusted him. You knew he felt the same way, with the way he slept in your hut ever night even if he had one; or the way he would kiss you passionately when no one was looking; the way he looked at you like you were his whole world in this horrible, nasty situation you were all put in; but most especially, the ways he would say i love you everyday without needing to open his mouth. You weren't scared of losing Newt because you knew you never would.
------
Teresa would have screamed "I told you so!" if she ever found out the doubts that now plagued you every moment in the Glade.
You felt like you should have noticed it the very first day that Moira had come up. When Newt returned to your room so late at night after the bonfire, you were barely even awake. But you quickly snuggled up into him the moment he lay in bed and kissed him. You didn't realize how much you had missed him that day and you both talked for a bit. He told you all about her.
Back then, it made you smile. He always had funny stories to tell about the greenie but looking back now, it just made your chest ache. It made you feel like a fool.
Newt would come to your hut every other night now, and when he did, it was usually pretty late. It's been happening for three weeks. He still talked to you and hung out with you. He still held your hand even, but he'd back away from any kisses outside your hut - even ones on the cheek.
He was usually with her, but you couldn't blame her. Moira was a Track-hoe now and since he was too, it wasn't odd that they were always together. You were a med-jack, it wasn't weird that you only shared glances with Newt during the day from your Med-hut to the Gardens, but now, you didn't even have those.
But you didn't want to be the jealous girlfriend. You didn't want to be that pathetic little girl who didn't like the new girl because she was stunning and spent time with your boyfriend. So you played along. You smiled at Moira every time she eagerly greeted you with Newt on her side. When Teresa would point out their closeness you joked about it and told her to stop being a shucking shank. Minho would constantly ask if you were alright and you always chirped a happy response. You smiled and laughed just like any other day.
The nights, however, were much harder. When you knew that only the darkness was there to greet you, that's when the thoughts came. You remembered seeing them pull out weeds together in the gardens and laughing like it was the most fun thing to do in the Glade (which, it seriously was not). You could see the little moments of contact they had: fingers brushing against each other, his hand tucking one of her long strand of hair away from her face, a quick but also too long embrace after a long day of work. You heard the warnings of Teresa in your head and you believed every one of her words then. You knew what was going on. You were watching him fall for her, and you knew because you watched him fall for you first.
When Newt would come back, you'd have to put all those thoughts away. When you wrapped your arms around him and pressed your chest to his back as he quickly fall asleep, you found that sleep avoided you completely. Holding him in your arms had never felt so painful, before.
It was easier when Newt wouldn't come, because then, you could cry. Cry for real. Cry without hiding it. You probably cried every night, unable to take all the emotions you had bundled up throughout the day. You sobbed quietly, though. Afraid someone would hear or that Newt would suddenly come back. But even as only whimpers escaped you, the pain was all present.
It felt like your organs were torturing you from the inside. Like everything was sobbing as well and all of them swelled up too big for the muscles and bones to hold. It was like they were about to burst at any moment. Like all the love you had for Newt was trying to be concealed inside of you. The love for him that was as vast as the galaxies trying to be trapped inside a small, young girl while the love he had was in a galaxy lightyears away - and it wasn't even for her.
You always used you sleeping in as an excuse if anyone asked about your tired looking eyes during the day. You had an idea that everyone in the Glade really knew what was going on. Newt wouldn't always sit with you during meal times, hell, it was like he had a different schedule with Moira - but that was good because at least you didn't have to watch them eat together while you ate with Teresa.
People started to look at you with sympathetic looks, and you hated it. So you smiled at them instead. You found yourself like dinner the most. That was when you were surrounded with your friends. The runners were back so it wasn't just you, Teresa and Chuck. It hurt when Newt was with Moira and the other Track-hoes but at least Minho would be there. You always made sure Minho was back from running before heading to eat - he was the only one who didn't look at you like you were an orphaned puppy and you were beyond appreciative of that.
As you left your dinner table with your friends you knew that you were broken inside, in ever single way, but you didn't let it show. You couldn't, it would be too bothersome for everyone else.
"Y/N!" someone suddenly called as you exited the Kitchen after eating dinner with Teresa, Thomas and Minho.
The deep voice was obviously Alby's and you turned to him as he approached your group. "What's up, boss?" you chirped. Your voice sounded permanently happy when interacting with others nowadays.
"I can't find Newt anywhere. He isn't in his room or yours or with Moira or anywhere. Do you know where he could be? Can you look for him and tell him to see me?" he said, wasting no time.
You felt yourself tense at the thought of finding Newt all on your own, but you couldn't say no. It would be too obvious. "Sure!" you said, "I think I know a place." you smiled and said bye to your friends before leaving.
Minho was going to follow after you but Alby puts a firm hand on his shoulder, shaking his head at him.
He looked at the leader with a confused expression but before he could ask, Teresa butted in. "Newt left dinner with Moira. Did you really see Newt not with Moira?"
Alby turned to her, "Y/N needs to know herself. I didn't want to butt in but I can't keep watching this anymore. She's not going to believe any of us, she has to see it with her own eyes. "
"You shucking sent her to look for Newt, possibly with Moira sucking their klunk faces off?" Minho asked and the leader didn't answer.
The three friends looked at each other, concern etched on all their faces as the silence made everything worse.
-----
Newt and you had a place in the Deadheads. You'd both go there when you wanted to be alone or alone together. It was just a quiet place, by a very tall tree, that when climbed, had a great view of the stars. It was a secret place no one knew of, and if Alby couldn't find him, your best bet was that he was there.
You wouldn't be lying that the small smile on your lips was because Alby said Newt wasn't with Moira. You couldn't remember the last time you saw him awake without her.
As you approached the towering tree, you heard a deep chuckle that was all too familiar. You felt a grin quickly finding your lips. He was there! Probably talking to himself like the dork he was, you've had enough times to confirm that the Second-In-Command liked to talk to himself when no one was around. You quickened your pace in the darkness and jogged to him.
"Newt-" you called happily as you turned after the tree tree trunk but then a flash of red hair found your eyes and knocked the breath out of you.
Startled green and brown eyes found yours as they pulled apart from a passionate kiss. Their heavy breathing echoed in your ears. Moira was pressed tightly between the tree and Newt, one hand dangerously past her hip while the other to support themselves up by the tree.
"Y/N" Newt breathed, stuttering on the first letter of your name.
You looked at them, embraced in love and standing in your special place, in shock, unable to get your mind to think straight. It felt like your heart leaped out of your chest and dropped to the floor, still and no longer beating, like your lungs had shrunk ten times and couldn't deliver oxygen throughout your body, like your brain no longer had any thoughts and like your legs were broken bones lazily put together as you tried to keep yourself standing.
Your eyes tore away from Newt's for a moment and you saw her smirk at you, forcing you to look quickly to the ground.
"Y/N, I can explain." his accented voice cooed, as he pulled away from Moira's arms that were around his neck.
You cleared your throat roughly, forcing yourself to speak as you tried to fight the tears that blurred your vision from falling. "N-n-no, n-nothing to explain!" you say quickly, your voice visibly higher. You cleared your throat again, "I'm so sorry for interrupting, i-it's just that A-alby was looking for you."
You licked your trembling lip, wishing your voice wasn't so shaky. "But, uhhh, you know what? I-I'll just... tell him you're busy! Yeah, uh, I'm gonna go..." you breathed in a whimper and felt the tears fall from your cheek, "I'll go tell him that right now!" you yell and quickly move your feet into a mad run before Newt could make any advancements towards you.
You heard him call out your name as you ran but you didn't stop not even when you tripped, fell and ran again in the darkness. You had never run so fast in your life. You could feel the tears flowing out of your eyes and you wiped them away angrily as you ran. No thoughts entered your mind, but emotions swirled all over. Emotions of pain and heartbreak.
You quickly got out of the forrest but saw that Alby and the others hadn't moved from their spot. You could already make out their concerned faces from where you were and you knew you couldn't handle it. So you ran to your hut. You ran as fast as you could, not wanting anyone to catch you.
Minho got real close, but you ducked away from his grasp and made it to your door, shutting and locking it as he got there. He slammed his fist repeatedly on your door, feeling every impact on your back as you slid on the floor and covered your ears.
"Y/N, shucking open up! Please, It's Minnie! Open up, please!" he begged and you shook your head even if he couldn't see as sobs escaped you. You don't know how long Minho was at your door for, but you heard Alby and Thomas force him away.
Teresa gave a gentle knock to your door, her voice was just as soft, "Hey, you're alright. Everything will be okay. He wasn't worth it." Footsteps walking away followed after and then you were greeted with silence.
As if on cue, that's when the thoughts came. You just found Newt kissing Moira - and it wasn't the act that really got you. It was the thoughts behind it. Newt kissed her with passion - with love. He kissed her the way he kissed you. The deep laugh you heard from him right before you found them played in your head. He was happy with her, not you. And, as if all of that hurt enough, he took her to your place. He never took anyone there, not even Thomas or Alby or Minho. It was a place only for you two... but not anymore.
You felt worse than betrayed. You felt like all you've felt last week but just a thousand times worse, you felt worthless. You weren't his world anymore, and you started to doubt that you ever were. You felt like you were just something he put up with. You were the only girl for a long time, and he probably just took the first chance he got. Now that there was someone new, someone better, you were nothing to him.
You couldn't blame him though, she was better than you. She was prettier. she got along with everyone (except Teresa) much better. She was a far better Track-hoe than you. She didn't even cry during her first day at the Glade. She was great. She got him to fall in love with her just like that. And what were you? You were a little girl crying on her floor about a boy who never loved her.
You don't know how long you cried, but at one point, you had moved to your bed and you lay there waiting. If you were being truly honest with yourself, you were waiting for Newt. You half expected him to come back and tell you that he had dragged her to him; That this was all just one big misunderstanding; That this was a mistake.
But no one came knocking.
-----
You didn't sleep and you avoided Newt like the plague. You didn't even go have breakfast and went to work at the Med-hut, not wanting to see anyone, really. Teresa, Clint and Jeff were three people in the hut and that was honestly lot easier to handle. No one asked if you were alright or spoke a conversation too long. Teresa had given you some food and you smiled sadly at her but for the rest of the day, interaction had been minimal.
No one asked if you were alright or spoke a conversation too long. Not even a lot of people came into the hut to be treated and when someone did, you kept yourself busy with inventory.
The same thoughts haunted you all day and you couldn't even cry about it anymore. You had run out of tears. They had become more calm and matter of fact but they were all still the same: Newt didn't love you. Maybe he never did but either way, he didn't love you now. Even if you loved him for a thousand years it would mean nothing because he loved her. You knew it and you knew why. She was perfect and you were pathetic. You didn't love yourself so why should he?
As you called it a day, you quickly excused yourself, wanting to avoid any more interactions before you had to brave yourself for dinner, but the universe was cruel. As soon as you exited the Med-hut and turned for the Homestead, a pair of familiar brown eyes found you.
"Y/N, I need to talk to you." he said quietly, his expression pleading. He was probably afraid Teresa would hear him.
It took a lot of willpower for you not to cry and run away, but you knew you couldn't say no to him. Not when he looked at you with those sad, warm eyes of his. So you took a shaky breath and nodded as he grabbed your hand. You winced at the contact but followed him towards the Deadheads. You couldn't believe you actually got yourself to agree. But hey, what's a little more hurt anyway right?
You didn't go deep into the Deadheads, just enough to stay away from prying eyes. Once you got to a spot, he dropped your hand and turned to you, "Look, Y/N, about last night-"
"It's okay." you say, shaking your head as your lips formed a straight line.
He wore a confused expression, "What?"
You took in a shaky breath and breathed out, "It's okay." you forced yourself to look up at him, seeing the pain in his face. It wasn't anywhere near the pain masked under yours. "It's fine. You and Moira. I'm okay with it."
"No you're not." he said and that felt like a spear shot straight through you. It reminded you of the times Newt would just know something was wrong with you even when you tried so hard not to show it.
"Yes, I am." you pressed, trying to prove to yourself that he didn't know you. Not anymore.
He let out a frustrated sigh and ran his hand in his hair as he turned away from you. You felt a moment of anger boil inside you. Why was he getting angry? It made absolutely no sense. You felt like you were about to explode in any moment and you couldn't tell if you were going to start crying or screaming or both. You had to end this soon.
"Look, Newt." you called and he turned back to you, eyebrows scrunched together. "It's fine, okay? I get it. I get that you really like her, you made that very obvious last night. And I'm okay with it." you spoke slowly, trying not to let your voice falter in any way that could give away your lying.
You decided to put some honesty in your words, knowing that would make it more believable, "I know, at least I think I do, what you look like when you're in love. A-and you have that with her. You're smiling more and there's a sparkle in your eyes when you look at her." you couldn't find yourself to look at him while you admitted it, "and you work harder and you're happy. And I don't want to be that girl who keeps you from it. I want to see you happy and if it's with her then stop forcing yourself to come to my hut on some nights. Just go with her, it's fine, people fall in love or they think they do and then they really do. It happens."
"But love-" Newt's voice called.
You let out a bitter laugh that interrupted him, "You shouldn't call me that anymore."
"Y/N, I'm- I just- I'm-" he couldn't even find the words and every stutter felt like another spear through the heart. It was so painful. You wished the spears stabbing your heart were real.
"Newt, stop." you begged and both of your pained eyes locked onto each other. You gave him a nod, you knew you had to do it.
"Look, I'll say it for you." you started, and looked to the ground for a moment as the tears that you thought were long gone stung the corner of your eyes.
You looked back at him, "It's over, Newt."
There was silence between you. He didn't stop you or interrupt you or even agree with you. He just stared and you couldn't take it anymore so you gave him a nod and turned away.
A scene that never happened played in your head wherein Newt quickly moved towards you, grabbing your wrist and pulling you into him. So instead, once you were far away enough from Newt, you picked up your walking pace into a staggered jog as tears fell from your eyes.
"Y/N." a voice called as soon as you got out of the Deadheads. It wasn't Newt.
You looked up at Minho standing a couple feet in front of you. He was panting heavily, obviously just making it out of the maze. You felt your eyebrows furrow and your lips turn into a frown as more tears spilled out of your eyes. A sob escapes your lips as you quickly ran over to your close friend.
He met you half way and wrapped his big muscular arms around your shaking form. You cried into his chest as you stroked your hair, shushing you. It pained him so much to see you so broken.
Minho looked up from where you came and saw Newt appearing from the trees. He glared at the Second-in-command who looked at him with a blank expression as he held his, now, ex-girlfriend. If it weren't for you being there, he wouldn't know what he would have done to the blonde, but he took a breath to stop himself and took another second to drill in his threatening glare at the boy before he started leading you to your hut.
Newt watched as Minho took you and all he did was walk away.
