Wc: 1022
Enjoy my lovelies❤
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After a bad car crash, I had to undergo surgery. They had to reconstruct my ligament with a piece of my hamstring. My leg had been immobilised for a while and I started to undergo therapy. Therapy is taking a very long time and I could only bend it 60 degrees with it already starting to hurt. I couldn't even hold my leg up on it's own.
"There she is." Said Thomas as I walked to the group in school. I walked with a cane to hold my weight. I didn't really need it anymore, but I needed something to hold me up if I lost balance.
"Hey, how are you?" Teresa asked softly, walking beside me.
"You don't have to walk beside me." I replied softly. "I was walking towards you guys anyways. You'd just need to walk back." I added.
"I guess, but I know how embarrassed you'd feel considered your speed isn't at optimum level." She shrugged. As stupid as it sounds, that hurt me. It was like all the progress I had done the day before wasn't worth it. I still had to wear the ugly splint. I was still slow. People would actually have to walk slower for me just so I wouldn't be left behind. I sound needy, don't I? "You didn't answer. How are you?" She asked again.
"I'm doing just fine." I answered, not wanting to expound. I finally got to the rest of the group. "Hey." I greeted.
"How are you doing?" Minho asked, "How was therapy?" I looked at him, seeing his eyes full of pity. I nodded.
"Therapy was fine. I could go up to sixty degrees now." I answered.
"That's great!" Newt commented. I shrugged.
"That's halfway there, right?" Teresa asked.
"Seventy degrees from the normal, but you know me. 130 isn't all of it for me."
"It's better than nothing." Teresa tried to brighten up. I didn't respond to that because all I could think was that it was worse than what I could do before. "Y/N?"
"Yeah, I guess." I shrugged. "Look, we have class soon and I should start walking if I wanna get there in time." I muttered before leaving. I turned away from then and faced my locker, getting my books and notebooks. I put my pens in the pocket of my jacket and shut my locker. "I'll see you guys at lunch." I murmured, barely audible and walked away. Newt caught up to me.
"Are you okay?"
"I'm fine." I answered quickly, almost like it was becoming a habit.
"What's wrong?" He asked.
"Nothing." I answered. He grabbed my elbow, making me stop and face him. "What?"
"Tell me what's wrong." He looked at me pleadingly, making me gulp. The bell rang. I removed my elbow from his grip.
"I'll be late for class." I told him as I made my way to class, leaving him standing in the hallway, shocked at the fact I had just brushed him off that way. I know that it was rude of me to do that, but it was all I could do. I didn't want to talk about it. I didn't want to talk about my leg.
~*~
At lunch, I barely got anything to eat. A small portion of pasta and a bottle of water. I sat down with the group, Newt didn't look at me. I gulped, looking at the others.
"So, what's up?" I asked. Nobody replied. "Alright, then." I murmured, standing up, "Wouldn't want to ruin your lunch." I breathed, before leaving.
I ate at the library that day.
~*~
The day was really uneventful. While waiting for my dad's car to pick me up, I sat on the bench. I looked at my phone, clicking on the video Newt had sent me the night before.
It was of a couple dancing. More than just ballet, it varied.
Newt and I usually watched videos of people dancing, it usually cheered me up. I got a text from my dad, saying he couldn't make it. I sighed, standing up, beginning to walk.
I watched the video as I did, expecting it too cheer me up, but it didn't. It made me feel worse. I instead played music and shoved my phone in my pocket.
I heard a murmur from beside me, but I ignored it. The person grabbed my shoulder. I removed one earphone, stoping and looking at them. Newt.
"What?" I asked.
"Did you watch the video I sent you?"
"Yep." I nodded.
"And?"
"And what?"
"I thought that when your leg gets better-" He stopped when he looked at me. "What?"
"What?"
"What's been bothering you? You've been off since this morning-" I scoffed.
"That's one way to put it." I muttered, beginning to walk away.
"Y/N, come on," He kept walking beside me.
"Fine!" I huffed. I stopped moving and I looked at him. "You wanna know what's wrong?! I haven't danced in months! I can't dance. I can't run. Heck, I can't even walk at the same speed as you guys! You know what that feels like?! It feels like I bother you. Like I'm a burden. And you probably didn't want to know this. How I feel right now. How much I hate my leg, how much I hate myself right now for hating my leg and for being mean to you. You probably didn't want to know any of this, but if you didn't want to know, you shouldn't have asked." I admitted. "And yes, I am walking home, knowing fully well that that's going to take forever and that I should just ask you guys to drive home, but that would be, again, being a burden. So, I'm walking home because I also need to move, because if I don't I will go insane." I honestly told him, turning away, walking again. He held my hand, keeping me from walking.
"I wanna show you something." He told me.
"You know, Newt, I really don't want to-" He pulled me close to him, our faces centimeters away from each other.
"Shut up and follow me."
