Close As Lovers

Three.

Song: Hold On- Chord Overstreet 

Wes, Journal Entry Three: Taken-For-Granted Moments

Screw memories.

I have fifteen years worth of memories with you, and if I had known I was taking them all for granted, I would have acted differently. I would've found ways to document every single one, because now that you and I aren't on the best terms, my mind isn't letting me remember hardly any of them clearly.

...Which is why I struggled to start this entry, and now you're hurt because you think I have nothing to write about (don't think I didn't just notice the frown after you looked away from me). Molls, there's just no brain cells up there. I'm sure you were already aware of that though. So, I've decided to write what I can remember at this moment.

The day we first met on the playground. I still remember those stupid boys who teased you for your Barbie wedding. I still remember your big blue eyes and how tightly you hugged me for helping you. I remember the wedding we conducted between Prince Eric and Ariel, and how happy you looked as they had their first kiss. I'm smiling like a fool right now because of it and of course you're not seeing that because you think I don't have moments I took for granted. Silly goose. Right now, I'm planning our wedding. You just aren't aware of it.

Which, by the way... how would you feel like a sand castle as our alter? I think it really sets the mood, considering that's how our friendship started.

Anyway, I remember the in-betweens when we were best friends, all the bad stuff I wish I could forget, and I remember when we started getting close again. But the one memory I can never forget is one you probably see as insignificant. To me, it's everything.

It was the night before your surgery. You were playing with Nova, and I remember seeing you guys and imaging you with our daughter. I wanted that to come true so badly. You will be the perfect mother. Anyway, I started playing with you guys, and Nova had you become my princess that I had to save. Once I saved you from the dog cage, she forced me to kiss you, and although I told her I shouldn't, I was secretly cheering her on for being the best damn sister in this entire world. An opportunity to kiss my favorite girl? Hell yeah.

But let's get to the goods. I grabbed you and leaned you back, and I can still picture it in my mind. The way your eyes sparkled as you held your breath as if you had been waiting your whole life. I was nervous. I never get nervous. But I kissed you, and it was like the entire world stopped in its tracks for us. Suddenly, I was holding the entire galaxy in my hands. I was happy. And I realized how much I truly loved you.

So, yeah. Memories suck and I never realized how much I took those moments for granted. But after taking them for granted, I realized how tightly I needed to hold onto you so I could make up for those I took for granted. After all, you've been my princess the whole time. And nobody would be stupid enough to let a beautiful princess like you go forever. Especially not me-- not anymore. Just hold on a little longer, Molls. I'll make everything up to you and give you the life you deserve.

***

Molly

"...Code blue! Doctor, you need to come here quickly!"

Frantic beeping surrounded me, and in my groggy state, I assumed I was just dreaming, but even so, I couldn't open my eyes. I had been so exhausted that my body couldn't handle staying awake a second longer.

Until someone started roughly shaking me, and I fell out of the hospital chair.

My eyes shot open, and the nurse shot me an apologetic grimace as she helped me up. "I'm sorry, miss, but your boyfriend is going into cardiac arrest and we need to be in here. Please go out in the hall."

I glanced at Wes to see his lips had turned blue, and a few other nurses were ripping open his hospital gown as they adjusted the tubes and IVs around him. Time slowed, and I found myself reaching for him as more nurses ran in, shoving past me, until someone else pulled me away. My heart started pounding against my chest, and I screamed his name as the person dragged me out of his room. Just as I tried to reach for the door, the doctor slammed it shut. I glanced behind me to see mom.

"I'm sorry, Molly. I know you didn't want to go, but they need to help him." Her eyes were glassy as she pulled me tightly against her, and I sobbed as I buried my head in her shoulder. "They're doing everything they can, sweetheart. He's a fighter. It will be okay."

"I can't lose him, mom. I love him."

She remained silent, holding me tightly against her as I cried. I cried for me, for Wes, and for us, and the future we might've been robbed of. And as I stood there, watching as the doctors pressed the paddles against his chest, I realized how badly I wish I would've told him I loved him five years ago when I knew for sure that it would always be him. 

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