Close As Lovers

Twelve.

Song: Last Kiss- Taylor Swift

The next day, I woke up alone in my bed. The whole house was the most silent it had ever been. I knew I fell asleep on the couch, so someone must've carried me to my room. I slowly rolled out of my bed, and when I stood, my head pounded and my eyes were heavy. Not to mention, my throat felt like sandpaper and my stomach was churning like it was on a roller coaster.

My mood was also a wreck. I couldn't get rid of Daniel's words in my mind, and I was heartbroken over everything with Wes. It was ironic how everything always fell apart at the worst times.

I trudged into my bathroom and hopped in the shower, attempting to stay in there as long as possible. The hot water relaxed my muscles, but my head only ached more. It felt like someone was smashing a hammer against it, and I silently vowed to never drink as much as I did ever again.

Once I finished my shower, I changed into comfy clothes and walked to Wes' room. I knocked three times, but the door never opened. I twisted the knob and opened the door, only to find that Wes wasn't even there, so I sighed and walked downstairs. To my dismay, he wasn't even home.

I decided to make myself some breakfast in hopes to cure my hangover and distract myself for a little while. I used to stay home alone all the time, but for some reason, I hated being alone then. Loneliness had never been a stranger to me, but without Wes, it was like walking into foriegn territory. He took away my loneliness and to feel it again was something I never wanted to go through.

So, as I ate my breakfast, I broke down crying, and when my eyes were completely dry, I cleaned up my mess and trudged into the living room where I spent most of the day continuing my binge of Gossip Girl. Nova joined me a couple hours later, and I colored with her to take my mind off everything. She colored a picture of a dog, and I colored a princess. I smiled at the picture as the memories of the night Nova made Wes and I kiss flashed into my mind.

That day always brought a smile to my face, and as I brushed my finger over the ring he gave me, my eyes filled with tears once again. I couldn't understand why everything good in my life had to be ripped away. I couldn't understand why everytime I had happiness in my grasp, it had to be taken away, and the sadness was always ten times worse than the happiness I once had.

"Are you and Wes fighting?" Nova asked, breaking the silence as she pouted.

"We just didn't agree on something," I assured her, mustering up a smile. "Why?"

Nova set down her crayons before her eyes grew glassy. "He stayed with you all night and he looked sad when he left."

I slowly bowed my head, staring at my lap. My heart sunk in my chest, and somewhere in the back of my mind, it was chanting to prepare myself for the inevitable. But I couldn't lose Wes. He was my everything, and if he left, half of my heart would go with him.

I was about to go to my room when two tiny arms wrapped around my waist. Nova's mess of curls was resting against my chest, and I wrapped my arms around her tiny frame.

"I'm sorry, Molly. I wish he wasn't sad."

"Me too, Nova." I gave her a sad smile before resting my chin on top of her head. "Me too."

***

Two hours later, Wes finally came home. Nova was right; he looked pretty upset. In fact, he ignored me when I greeted him. I followed him to his room, and he almost slammed the door in my face, but I put my foot in it before he could shut it.

"Why are you ignoring me?" I asked, stepping into his room, and he ignored me as he walked towards his window. I hesitantly wrapped my arms around his torso, resting my head against his back, and his hands barely touched mine. "Wes?"

We remained silent for a couple of minutes, and I suddenly felt something wet land on my arm. His hand moved away from mine towards his face, and I suddenly realized he was crying. I stood in front of him, holding his face in my hands, but he avoided my eyes. "Wes, what's wrong?"

He continued ignoring me, and I sighed, feeling my throat tighten as my eyes grew blurry with tears. "Please just tell me."

Wes shifted on his feet, tucking his hands in his pockets. "I... I..."

"Wes... whatever it is, you can tell me--"

"I have to break up with you."

Time seemed to slow as his bloodshot eyes finally met mine, and my heart slowly shattered. My hands fell from his face as I looked away. 

"I... I don't understand," I mumbled, looking at him again as a tear trickled down my face. "Why?"

He looked away from me as he hesitated for a moment, and then when he spoke again, my entire world fell apart. "I don't think I love you anymore."

As hard as I tried, I couldn't find the right thing to say. I slowly nodded before running out of his room, wiping my eyes, but nothing could stop the tears that flowed or the pain that tore apart my heart.

It was as if the whole world had gone silent, just long enough to hear the sound of my heart breaking. I pinched my arm, hoping it was all just a dream, but there he was, standing in front of me, telling me he didn't love me.

I lost my everything. And the things everyone told me to never fear, the things I had always secretly feared happening, happened. And maybe that was the thing I should've feared most all along.