Close As Lovers

Nineteen.

Song: Heart Attack- Enrique Iglesias

Where do you turn when you have nowhere to turn? When every old path you knew like the back of your hand is suddenly blocked and no matter how hard you try to run through it again, you can't get through? Where do you go when the one person you could run to isn't there anymore? How do you heal your heart when the loneliness from these things seeps in and wreaks havoc on every fiber of your being?

These thoughts lingered in my mind as I walked home. I had stayed with Evan and Lana until she had to leave for class and Evan had to work, and when I realized I couldn't call anyone to pick me up, I panicked. Walking home alone had always scared me, but even more so when I knew Andy was still out there somewhere, and he could easily grab me and hurt me in ways I didn't even want to think of.

Even worse, as soon as I began walking towards home, the sky let out torrents of rain, as if to mock my bad luck.

My jacket unfortunately didn't have a hoodie, so I had to use my bag to shield my head, which didn't really help. It became drenched and the water leaked through the bag, soaking my hair. I sighed as I wrapped my arms around my waist, trying to warm myself up, but nothing was working. Mother nature and the world truly had it out for me.

I had just rounded the corner towards my neighborhood when a silver Chevy pulled up beside me and rolled down the window. As I glanced over, I saw the one person I definitely didn't want to see ever again.

"Molly, honey, why are you walking in the rain?" Daniel questioned, his eyebrows creased in worry, but I knew it wasn't genuine. I couldn't let my guard down and give him the ability to take advantage of my vulnerability when I knew better than to trust him.

"None of your business." I hissed, glaring at him. "Don't you have my replacements waiting for you in Montana?"

Daniel sighed as he continued to move his car with my steps. "Your siblings didn't replace you, Molly. I love all my children equally."

"Bullshit."

"Just let me take you home, Molly. You'll get sick if you keep walking in the rain," I met his eyes again, and I could see he was pleading with me. "We can talk on the way there."

My blood boiled, and it took everything in me not to yank him out of his stupid car and punch him. He had some nerve if he thought he could just waltz back into my life like he had never abused mom and I. Like he had never left me without a dad and let mom and I fend for ourselves with the little that we had while he was off making a new family. And if he thought I would just hop in his car and we would talk, he was insane. I could never forget how he called me a mistake. Well, I wasn't going to give in anymore. My heart had suffered enough.

My anger reached its peak, and I exploded. "I don't want to hear a damn thing you have to say. You ruined my life the moment you left mom and I, and now you're back, doing what you do best. I loved Wes, and because of you, he left. I hate you! Stay out of my life!"

I took off running towards the house, and I couldn't tell if it was the rain or my tears dripping down my face. When I finally reached the house, I was drenched, and my entire body shivered from the cold rain that had relentlessly beat against me, much like everything else in my life.

After slipping out of my clothes, I started a steaming hot shower, letting the water beat against my skin as I tried to warm up and forget everything that had happened. No matter how hard I tried to avoid it, the thoughts of Wes, Daniel, Andy, and my entire life raged through my mind, and every time I thought harder, the more I cried. There was no escape.

Once I was finished with my shower, I changed into pajamas and walked into my room. The house was dead silent, but I couldn't handle silence any longer. My loneliness, heartache, sadness-- they all hid in the silence, waiting to prey on me the moment I became too drowned in my thoughts. I was tired of being preyed on. I wanted to break the silence.