Close As Lovers

Eleven.

Song: Good Enough- Cimorelli

When all of life seemed to be going wrong, there was only one answer for me most of the time.

Sleep.

When I was forced to wake up, however, everything from the past few days flooded back into my mind, and I just felt horrible again. But hey, at least it took my hangover away.

Sighing, I rolled out of bed and walked to Wes' room. He was sitting at his desk writing a paper, and I hesitated before sitting on his lap. He continued writing his paper as his entire body grew stiff, and as much as it hurt, I knew I deserved it.

"What's that?" I asked, trying to start a conversation, and he continued writing, not even sparing me a glance.

"English essay." He mumbled, and I sighed as I wrapped my arms around his neck, burying my head in his shoulder. He let out an irritated sigh as he placed his pen down. "What do you want, Molly?"

"I... I just wanted to say I'm sorry for everything." Tears blurred my eyes as I held him tighter. "I'm just so stressed, I keep missing work, and now the man who ruined my entire childhood is back, and I just--"

Wes silenced me with his lips pressed against mine as he wrapped his arms around my waist, calming me instantly. When we pulled away, he caressed my cheek, smiling softly at me. "It's okay, baby. I should've listened to you more. I'm sorry too."

"I love you," I whispered, resting my head against his shoulder. "It's just... he wasn't supposed to come back."

And even though everything was calm at that moment, I couldn't ignore the sinking feeling in my stomach that the storm was hitting soon.

***

After a few hours of cuddling and watching movies, Wes had to leave to meet his study group for English. While he was gone, I planned to spend the whole day binge watching Gossip Girl. I had just started season three when my phone rang. The caller ID was unknown, so I answered. I assumed it was work or Wes using one of his friend's phones, but when the voice sounded through the line, I instantly regretted answering.

"Hello, Molly. It's your dad."

"Really? That's weird." I hissed, feeling the anger course through me. "My father's at work right now and wouldn't be able to call me right now."

Daniel sighed through the phone. "I'm your real father whether you like it or not. Besides, David is a pretty pathetic excuse of a father if you ask me."

"Last time I checked, David didn't abuse me or mom. He didn't nearly kill his own daughter." I bitterly laughed, trying my best to keep my composure. "That's what I call pathetic."

Silence filled the line, and I thought he hung up, but then his voice boomed through the line. "You know what? I wish your mother would've went through with the damn abortion. God knows we made a mistake when we made you. You are a worthless, ugly, pathetic little girl, and I never wanted you as my daughter. That's all you'll ever be, Molly. A mistake."

The line went dead, and all I could do was stare at the phone, my jaw unhinged, as silent tears streamed down my face. My father had said many cruel things when he was around, and they were always said when he was drunk, but he had never said anything like that-- especially when he was sober. I guess it was true. Drunk words were sober thoughts. And suddenly, I felt like a complete joke.

I threw my phone against the wall, and all of its pieces scattered across the floor. "Damn you!"

Hot tears cascaded down my face, and the only thing I knew to do was to drown out my thoughts and feelings. So, I grabbed the bottle of alcohol out of the fridge, drinking until I couldn't think straight. Eventually, the burning in my throat became numb, and the overwhelming pain in my heart began to fade as my mind grew hazy.

A couple hours later, Wes walked through the door, and when his eyes caught sight of me, they flashed with disappointment.

"Come on, Molly..." He sighed, kneeling in front of me. " You know better than this. What happened this time?"

I couldn't meet his eyes. I was tired of seeing the disappointment. I told him everything that happened, and then I leaned forward, pressing my head into his shoulder. "He said I-I was a m-mistake."

Wes let my rest there for a minute before he sighed and cleaned up all the empty bottles on the coffee table, and then he shook his head, a hint of anger flashing in his eyes. "He was wrong for that. But you know what, Molly? His opinion shouldn't matter, not when you have everyone here who loves you."

"He said he never wanted me, Wes," I cried, my heart clenching with every word, and Wes sighed again, slowly backing away from me.

"Open your eyes, Molly. Look at what you have now! You don't need him! I'm still here. I love you," When I didn't respond, he closed his eyes, bitterly laughing. "I can't keep watching you get like this. Maybe you should be the strong girl I know and not care what he or anyone else thinks about you, because me and everyone else is really getting tired of this weak version of you."

He left the room, and even after all the numbing I had managed to do, searing pain ripped through my heart as I watched him walk away.

And even though I knew he was right, it still didn't stop me from feeling like one huge mistake. 

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