Close As Lovers

Sixteen.

Song: Half A Heart- One Direction

 It baffled me how the person you made the best memories with could be the person you fought so hard to forget every memory with when it ended. Wes turned every memory we spent together into something painful without even knowing. They were sharp like a knife, cutting through me every time I thought about moments with him. All the good, loving moments that I held in my heart turned into the villains, killing my already broken heart. After everything he had done to build my confidence and security, he turned me into the biggest skeptic of love. I wanted to hate him for it.

And it truly sucked. I could never forget anything, but there were a million and one things I wish I couldn't remember.

As we packed up and left the beach house, all I could think about was the entire weekend with Wes. After that morning in the bedroom, I left because I couldn't stand the fact that all I was to him was a mistake. Sure, he never actually said that, but I could read between the lines. Sometimes, no words had to be said to understand the truth.

As we drove away, my mind wandered to a few weeks after Wes returned from London. We were lying on my bed after I had finished my shift at work, and Wes was rubbing my back while my head rested against his chest. We didn't speak, but the silence was peaceful then.

"Can I ask you something?" I looked up at him, my eyes slightly heavy from exhaustion, and he nodded as he brushed his fingers through my hair. "Why did you leave me?"

He sighed. "I didn't have a choice, Molls."

"But you promised me that nothing would change. You didn't call, and then you stopped talking to me," My bottom lip quivered. "I needed you and you weren't there. You just left."

"You don't know how I've beat myself up for that everyday. One day, I'll tell you everything, but right now I just need you to trust that I did it for your benefit, alright?"

I glanced up at him to see his eyes had glassed over, and I wrapped my arms tightly around his neck, burying my head in his shoulder. "Just promise me you won't go away anymore."

He smiled softly. "I promise. I'm never leaving again."

Wes' words lingered in my mind as I watched him drive. His jaw was clenched tightly, and his eyes were hard as he watched the road, but as I thought about that day, my heart sank, and all I wanted to do was reach over and be in his embrace again.

People always promised that they would never leave you, but throughout my entire life, I figured out that was the most broken promise. They always left.

And if Wes meant it when he said he wasn't leaving ever again, then why did it feel like I was losing him all over again? Day by day, we were slowly drifting apart, and I feared that the day would soon arrive when he would be completely gone and I would be alone.

The first half of the car ride was silent. Neither of us spoke a word, and the air weighed heavy with awkward tension. Out of the corner of my eye, I caught Wes sneaking glances at me. I couldn't tell if the look in his eyes was worry or pity.

"You have to promise me that when we get home, you won't drink as much anymore."

I rolled my eyes. "I don't have to promise you anything. After all, I mean nothing to you."

His eyes locked with mine, hurt flashing in them, before he sighed and directed his gaze back to the road. "I never said you meant nothing to me, Molly. And I never would."

"Whatever," I bitterly laughed as I leaned my head against the window. "I'm not promising you anything. You were the one who taught me that promises mean nothing."