Close As Lovers

Twenty-Two.

Song: Jet Black Heart- 5 Seconds of Summer

Everything around me slowed until there was nothing, only me and the sky above-- the sky that seemed to swallow my limp body whole. My hand reached out, kissing the sky, grasping the darkest of darks, the stars hanging heavily as if realizing the end. Everything morphed to a blur that swirled out of existence, and not even the sting of my tears hitting my face threw me back into reality. Suspended in the air, I closed my eyes, and surrendered myself into the infinite sky above.

Something deep inside of me begged me to remember that I still had the rest of life ahead of me, that the end shouldn't knock so soon, but all I could feel was the sorrow that had buried itself deep in my soul-- the numbness that overwhelmed every fiber of my being. The thought that nobody needed me, that the world would be better without me.

I knew the end was arriving soon. Another few short seconds, and I would be gone for good. No one would have to worry, and I wouldn't be a problem. I would be like the autumn leaves-- colors faded, withered to nothing. And the branches that held my weight for the last three seasons would finally sigh in relief, happy to be able to stretch out their arms in freedom.

For some reason, when the end was near, seconds stretched to hours. As my eyes fluttered close, the memories of Wes and I flashed through my mind like an old video tape-- from the day we met, to the day he left. When he came back and I found my best friend again, to the day he left for London and left me behind. And then when he came back again, and I lost him once more, but nothing could top the day we finally said our I love yous, and my heart sighed as if to say "finally, you're home". The more memories that replayed, the harder I cried, but at the same time, the closer I was to forgetting. The close I was to never having to see those memories or feel that pain again.

I knew the ground was growing closer. I could feel it in the way the air rushed against my back, as if trying to push me back to the top. But soon, I would be roaming freely, high above the worries and hurt where happiness lied. It would all be over.

I had almost died.

Until I didn't.

In a split second, someone was grabbing my waist, and we tumbled across the old, gravel road, tiny rocks ripping my clothes and digging into my skin. Warm liquid oozed down my back and arms, and I groaned as we finally came to a stop in the grass. My lungs wheezed, closing tightly as I began hyperventilating from the shock, and my body shook ferociously. Whoever caught me held me tightly against them, their chest heaving against mine as they sobbed. Even though they were right in front of me, their yells seemed distant, and every word they uttered came out as a mumble to me. All I could do was try to calm my shaking lungs as I gripped their shirt until my knuckles turned white and sobbed into their chest.

After a couple minutes, they grew quiet as they rubbed soothing, circular motions against my back in an attempt to calm my breathing. Their arms wrapped tighter around me as if that would calm my shaking body, and when I finally relaxed enough to function, I slowly looked up, my breath catching in my throat.

It was always those piercing green eyes staring into mine.

My mouth opened and closed, attempting to find the right words to say, but nothing came out. Wes' arms stayed wrapped tightly around me as if he was afraid I would slip away, and tears cascaded down his face, fear clouding his eyes.

"Molly..." He breathed out, and then to my surprise, he started sobbing hysterically. He pulled me against him as he buried his head in my shoulder, his entire body shaking violently. "Are you crazy!? Trying to kill yourself!? Why the hell would you even attempt it!?"

"You said you didn't want me here!" I screamed back, sobbing into his shoulder. "I just wanted you to be free."

Wes pulled away to wipe away my tears with the pad of his thumb, and then he shook his head, pressing his forehead against mine. "I can't live without you, Molls. There is no freedom without you here."