Together

chapter sixteen

*237 days later*

Another day wasted. I've read the book over and over..not a single way out for me. I'm not sure what day it really is. I stopped counting after a hundred. I'm in the kitchen right now. I'm finishing off an old bottle of bourbon.

Drinking doesn't make me stop hurting..but it helps slightly. I finished it and felt myself crying. I sighed and wiped my eyes. "You're not weak..you made it this far. That's good enough." I told myself but it only made me sob more.

I felt my sadness turn into rage and stood up and threw the bottle smashing it and sending glass all over the floor. I flipped the kitchen table and began braking everything I could touch and I screamed and sobbed.

I stopped and dropped to my knees unable to move anymore. I can't keep going like this. I can't keep dealing with all these emotions. I cant keep having these dreams. I cant keep going! "I'm not weak..I'm strong.." I breathed and clenched my eyes shut.

I've been debating this for weeks. And I've finally made up my mind. I cant handle these feelings. I've tried to kill myself..but nothing works. Not even a stake through the heart. I'm still stuck here alone. I don't know how Kai did it for so long..but I cant.

I want to slip the switch. I want to turn it all off. My tears stopped and I opened my eyes smiled. I stood up and wiped my face. I was about to try it for the first time. I'll be here forever anyway. This way I won't be in so much pain.

I felt a brush of air and heard something fall. What the hell? I vamp sped to the living room where the noise came from. "Hello!?" I yelled out desperately. Hope sparked within me.

"Hey.." I turned and felt tears of joy fall from my eyes. "Damon..?" I asked. I don't like the guy..but right now..I just need someone. Even him. I ran and hugged him. When I felt him and he hugged back I knew it was real.

My eyes were squeezed shut. I was about to yell how happy I was to see him..but then I opened my eyes to see someone right behind us. Kai. He looked..he looked sad. Sad? I jerked away from Damon and stood there frozen.

"What is he doing here?" I asked blankly. It hurt seeing him. God it hurt. "He was the only one who could bring me here..he's not the most important thing right now. Be ready to come home tonight. We're coming for you." he said rushed.

I can tell he was in a hurry but I have so many questions. Why is Kai helping them? Did he hurt anyone? How is Bonnie? How is Elena? How are they getting me out? But before I could ask a single one Kai gasped and I looked at him as did Damon.

He was bleeding from the stomach. "Kai!" I screamed. Kai vanished. "Be ready Elena's porch!" Damon shouted right before he vanished too. "No!" I shouted. I hated that...Kai killed me..left me here alone to die..and when he got hurt I still showed how I care.

It's bullshit! I shouldn't care. None of that matters. Tonight I'm going home. I smiled at the thought. Elena..Bonnie..all of them. I'll be able to see them..touch them again. I can't wait.

I need to shower and change..something I haven't done in a while.

>>>>>>

It was eight o'clock. I'm standing on Elena's porch. Where I was told to be. I was sitting there and for a moment I let myself think the worse. Kai died and he was the only one who knew how to get me out. Now no one can get me..and all this was false hope.

I began to tear up. "No..you don't know that for sure.." I mumbled to myself. It's just now eight..they are just a little late. I sat down and took a deep breath. Everything will be fine.

It has to be. They are just a little late. That's all.

>>>>>>

It's eleven. No one is here. No one is coming. I began to sob. I can't keep this up. I just cant. I shook my head and wiped my eyes taking a deep breath. Kai is most likely dead..he was bleeding from the stomach for God's sake.

He is dead..and I'm stuck here forever. I sobbed at the thought of Kai being dead..after everything that seems the most painful. I cant handle all of this. I won't.

I closed my eyes and took a deep breath and made a decision for myself. If I'm stuck here forever then I won't be in pain the whole time.

I turned it off.