I've never done this kind of thing before, writing down my feelings, i usually just keep them to myself. No point in sharing your feelings with others when they can just use them against you at their own free will, but Grant said it would help.
I have no idea how this is supposedly meant to help me. If I had an emotion to vent then i would be able to see where he was coming from. He said this is the kind of thing his grievance councillor got him to do when he was in denial.
The difference is I'm not in denial neither am I grieving. Grant says that's the first sign, though the first sign of what, I'm not too sure. All I know is that as of now, I've decided to steer clear of the issue. Not that it was mine to begin with. It's easier that way, don't become attached and you don't get hurt.
Others think I'm just being selfish, they tell me all the ins and out of the current situation. It's not that I'm being rude or that I don't care, I just haven't let ot rule and take over my life. If I had a proper relationship with that person then maybe I would feel a tinge of emotion, but in my eyes I don't know them well enough to be entitled to being upset.
In my mind it would be trude to finally show up after knwing waht has been going on for so log and bawl out my eyes at the sadness of what is to come but then how would that make me look.
I'm not sure how much Grant is expecting me to write, but even though he doesn't think I've noticed, I can se him glancing my every few seconds with a smile as though his grand plan is at work.
I know he won't read this he says it's supposed to be my own personal way of dealing with things and he won't intrude.
It feels weird writing about myself as I sit here stifling yawn after yawn.
Thinking about it it's kinda crazy.
That as I sit here fighting myself trying to keep my eyes open to write this, there are people out there about to fall asleep, never to wake.
I told myself I held no emotion as a way to ward off my pain, a defense to not make me feel any hurt or anguish but as I sit here reading this over an over again. I let a lone tear fall telling me it's all a lie I do care and it does hurt, and pretty soon I let the floodgates open
All credit goes to beyoutiful1D for creatng this dare :)
YOU ARE READING
Thoughts Of The Mind
Teen FictionEver since joining the Watts Creative contest, I realised how much I actually enjoyed writing short stories. So I decided to turn this into a space in which I will upload them in :)
