Bite Me.

20.

Eren knew he owed a goodbye to Marzia at least. She had shown him kindness in the short while he was there. He knocked on her door, but when she didn't answer he decided to check if she was asleep. If she was, he was sure she would forgive him for waking her up just once. It was the last time he'd see her, after all. The scene he came upon when he opened the door was one that would be seared into his mind forevermore. Levi was knelt on the floor, leaning over what looked like her unmoving corpse. He looked up and his dark eyes flashed with fear.
'Levi, what have you done?' Eren breathed.
'It was my brother,' his voice cracked slightly when he said 'brother'.
Eren understood then that it was his fault. He thought about what Archer had said and there was no doubt in his mind. He crouched down next to him, hesitantly taking his hand. It was softer than he'd expected, the fingers long and slender and callused in the way that only a musician's could be. Levi yanked his hand away fast, standing up and crossing the room in less than a second.
'I thought you were leaving,' he spat, his voice shaking strangely. Was he... Was he about to cry?
'I am,' Eren knew he should stay, but where had staying gotten him? 'But not until you calm down.'
'I don't need to calm down!' Levi shouted, the sudden volume and harshness of his tone startling Eren.
'Yes you do,' Archer was sitting on the bed, his legs crossed. He didn't seem to be showing any remorse for what he had done. 'You feel that? That's despair. Hold onto it. I know it hurts like hell now, I know it always has and that's why you ran from it. But one day you'll learn to turn it into a kind of happy sadness... You're honoured that you were the one priveliged to love somebody enough that their demise upsets you so deeply.'
'I didn't even like her,' Levi turned away, splaying his hands against the wall and leaning on it.
'I know. But you were already hurting because you thought Eren was leaving-'
'I am leaving,' Eren pointed out.
'Shut up! You're not leaving just as you could start to see who he's trying to hide beneath his actions. Don't you understand how incredibly selfish it would be to leave now? Just as my plan is working?'
'I don't think it's selfish to want to take my sister away from an environment like this,' his eyes lingered meaningfully on the dead body lying in front of them.
'Stop!' Levi finally interrupted the conversation. 'Just stop trying to treat my life like a plan! Did it not occur to you that sure I don't feel happiness, but I don't feel pain?'
'You do feel pain, you just process it as anger. I want my brother back.'
'And that's the most selfish motive of all. You want me to feel pain just so you can live out your fantasies of us ruling the city together.'
'I can't stay to listen to this,' Eren announced, heading for the door, but his path was blocked by Archer, whose eyes were burning ferociously. He'd been so close to succeeding, and he was sure that if Eren hadn't shown up and given him somebody to direct his anger upon, perhaps it would have worked.
'Please do something,' he whispered into the boy's ear. 'Don't you dare leave him so close to breaking. If there's any small part of you that cares, show him that part. He'll be angry and he'll probably try to hurt you, but you can't retaliate at all. I know him when he's dangerously on the verge of having a breakdown. I need you to break him by being kind. Only then can your sister be safe.'
Then the brother who had caused this mess disappeared abruptly. Eren stood for a moment and thought about what he had said. He had two choices; either he left and try to escape the wrath of this boy who had control over the entire city, or he stayed and tried to stop him blowing a fuse and coming after him in the first place. There was no guarantee that either would work. The first might antagonise him further, but then if the second didn't work it was sure to anger him even more. He spun on his heels and strode forwards. There was only one he could do that truly make him feel safe. He grabbed Levi by his shoulders and pulled him into his arms. He stiffened and tried to escape, but Eren's hands were firm on his back.
'Go now or I'll kill you,' Levi hissed.
'No you won't,' Eren's voice was soft, and he still didn't let go. The boy was slender and the perfect height that he could rest his chin on his head. 'I'm not going anywhere.'

Levi didn't know how to react when Eren pulled him into an embrace. He hadn't been comforted like this since he had left his brother so long ago. There was still anger boiling deep inside him, one that couldn't be doused by just a hug. He had to release it somehow because it was eating him up. Why did everybody have to do awful things to him? Why couldn't they all just leave him alone? No, he was wrong. Eren had never done anything bad to him. And that was even worse. He couldn't really like him in any way, because friendship meant pain. He'd learnt that through experience. He had to cause the pain himself, then. There was no other way. He saw the breath leave Eren's lungs as his foot connected with his shin and then, as he bent down to clutch it in his hand, his chin. He was launched across the room, landing in a crumpled heap against the wall. He was barely conscious when Levi bent down next to him.
'Now you should go,' he growled.
'I'm-' Eren coughed and pulled himself to a sitting position. 'I'm not leaving.'
Another kick, this time to his ribs. He saw stars and felt blood welling up in his throat. But he'd made his choice, and he had to stick with it. If he decided not to go through with it now, he'd be sure to cause all the more danger for him and his sister if he left. This time the boot smacked into his neck and he choked, coughing up blood onto the floor and trying desperately not to succumb to the welcoming arms of unconsciousness. He was struggling to breathe enough already when he winded by yet another hit to his stomach. He groaned and watched the world rotation around him. He had failed. He was going to die here, and his sister would follow soon after. He felt everything suddenly drop away as a perfectly aimed kick collided with the side of his head.

Levi stared down at Eren's unmoving body in disbelief. What had he just done? Was he dead? He fell to his knees, desperately scrambling to see if he could feel a pulse. It was weak, but it was there. It phased in and out irregularly, his heart tapping out a syncopated rhythm. Without understanding what he was doing, Levi slid his arms round him and lifted him up, carrying him like a baby. He clutched him tight to his chest and laid him down on his own bed, gently brushing the hair out of his eyes. He wasn't entirely sure what he was feeling. In fact, he didn't feel anything. He was just numb. It was like a gaping hole had been ripped into his chest and things were starting to seep into the edges. Emotions he had been storing away for so long were trying to force their way through the barriers he had erected to protect himself. Emotions like this were dangerous- when he felt things for people, they almost inevitably died or betrayed him. He wasn't one to complain, though. It was just the way of the world and he'd come to accept this. With this acceptance came the ability to block all humanity off. But that could only ever have lasted so long before his damn brother intervened. He'd always known just how to tick him off and ruin things for him.
So when the tears began to squirm their way past the barricade of his tightly screwed shut eyelids, he wasn't surprised by them. He heard footsteps and wiped them away hastily. He couldn't disguise the anguished glint in his eyes though, and Archer saw right through it.
'I thought I'd lost you,' he said kindly, holding his arms out. Levi wanted nothing more than to run into them and ask him to fix everything for him. But he couldn't. It had been too long since he'd truly allowed himself to feel like this. It was just a moment of weakness- he could get past it if he just ignored it.
'You were right,' he glanced back at the boy lying in his bed. 'I'm sorry I couldn't break out of this. I guess maybe I'm just too weak to succumb to it all.'
'You're not weak,' Archer's voice became gentle the way it did when he was making a promise to mend his brother's mistakes. 'You're two hundred years old. You've lost everybody apart from me, so it's understandable that you equate love to death. Why do we fall intensely in love with people when we know we'll have to say goodbye later? The answer is, of course, because we'll have to say goodbye later. Would you really sacrifice the beauty of happiness and love because they're followed by pain?'
A heavy silence blanketed the room, until Levi finally spoke.
'C'est la vie, non?'
Archer grinned and thumped him on the back.
'Oui, mon frére. Oui.'