Bite Me.

33.

Eren watched Levi out the corner of his eye, seeing how tired and on edge he looked. Hidden by the darkness that was slowly creeping into the room now that it was getting considerably later than planned, he traced the veins along his arm. Levi flinched, then relaxed again. Yeesh, he really was stressed. If he was so overwhelmed why had he agreed to come? He was also obviously still in great pain, as he had kept his arms wrapped tightly round his chest for the whole time he'd been here. He felt bad for asking him to come, and wished he had just told him to rest and recover. The film was some stupid rom-com and neither of them were really into the storyline, rather more enjoying keeping a closer company with the excuse of friendship. Yet neither one pursued the relationship any further, worried of what the other might think. On the one hand, Eren believed that Levi was both a terrible idea and also that he harboured no reciprocation of feelings towards him whatsoever. On the other, Levi was convinced that Eren must have only befriended him out of pity, and thus expected no return of true feelings. Although he was aware of the little crush the boy had developed, and it was quite adorable. His side was also more complicated in that he was trying to deny he held affections for Eren at all, knowing that if he didn't he'd also have to accept the guilt for the awful things he had done to him, and he got the distinct suspicion that something like that might ruin him. So they would keep their distance emotionally, no matter what they did physically.

When Levi finally left, they said an awkward goodbye and Carla immediately sat her son down with a cup of tea in the kitchen, as had become her warning that a serious talk was about to take place.
'So that was the Levi?' She confirmed, although she highly doubted there was more than one. Eren nodded, gasping as the tea burnt the roof of his mouth.
'What's wrong with him?'
'What do you mean?' He frowned. To be honest, there was quite a lot wrong with him so she was going to have to be a little more specific than that.
'He looked in pain and keep holding his chest together like he has a heart condition or something.'
'He got into a fight.'
'Not the kind of guy you should be getting involved with then,' she shook her head.
'Are you pissed?'
'Yes. But not because you've been hanging out with him, I realise you're almost an adult now and I can't choose your friends.'
'So why are you?'
'Because you didn't tell me how hot he is! No wonder you've got a crush on him...'
'Oh my god, I do not!' He stood up, putting his mug in the sink and trying to escape out the door.
'It's obvious from the way you look at him, like he's some kind of God.'
'Well, he doesn't think like that at all.'
'You don't think so?'
'The guy's kinda damaged. Emotionally void kind of thing. Pretty sure he had a weird childhood,' he shrugged.
'Cut yourself some slack. Who could resist you?'
'You're my mum. You have to say things like that.'
'Granted. Let it not be said that I condone this relationship, as I'm sure you've mentioned at some point that he hit you. Trust me from experience that even just once, it's a very bad sign. If you really think he could change, maybe it could work. But once you give yourself up to a flawed person, it's hard to ever let them go because you want so badly for them to change that you start to believe they have.'
'He has changed,' it sounded false, even to his ears. But he had changed- he was smiling and no longer threatening to kill him, and he hadn't actually hit him if you didn't count grabbing him violently by his shirt. Essentially, he was still being a prick but he just didn't get as much opportunity to do so.
'Everyone has good moods, Eren. The thing that matters isn't whether they have bad moods, because everyone does, but how often they have them and how bad they are.'
'Yeah, I know. Night.' He wasn't going to stand around and start regretting every choice he had made that day. He was already beginning to feel anger at himself for letting Levi back into his life so easily. But he had always known, deep down, that given the chance he would run right back to him. He was just happy he had been strong enough to restrict it to friendship. It had taken everything in him not to accept his offer of staying with him for a while. As he lay down on his bed, he noticed that the jacket was still hung up on the back door. He smiled, the same buzzy feeling he now associated with Levi returning to him. His heart jumped around in circles as he curled into his duvet, imagining that the bed was no longer empty. He fell asleep smiling.

'Would you stop that?' Archer poked his brother with his foot. He was randomly strumming at a guitar in the music room, trying to distract Archer from his playing. 'You barely know how to play the guitar. Pick up your violin.'
Huffily, Levi dropped the guitar unceremoniously on the floor and picked up his violin from the shelf. He hadn't played it in so long... He wasn't sure he even knew how to anymore. It was something he had always associated with their days spent busking on the streets of Paris, before everything got overly complicated. He had been a complete different person then, not corrupted by power or running full pelt away from himself. Sure, he might have still been just as pretentious and arrogant, but it hadn't been a shell. He had genuinely had self confidence by the bucket. Now he doubted himself frequently, knowing that his sense of right and wrong was viciously skewed. They hadn't had much, but they'd been quite content with their lot. It wasn't material goods they'd been rich in, but companionship. It was his friends who had persuaded him to take over Paris, and his friends who he had discovered were plotting against him and his brother, aiming to snatch their power as soon as the coup was completed. So they had paid with their lives.
The violin symbolised to him that simpler time, and ultimately his greatest betrayal. He had never had the guts to tell his brother about what their friends had done, because Archer saw the good in everyone and he couldn't bear to take that away from him. And also, then his leaving would be obviously more than just a power play. No, he could not play this violin just yet. The days when he had played it had been the happiest period in his life- they had very little competition- and until he was once again as content, if not more, he would not play.
'Why did you bring Eren earlier?' Archer finally asked the question that had been hanging between them for the past hour.
'I don't really know,' Levi admitted. 'It was kind of spur of the moment. I bumped into him, he seemed sad so I told him he could tag along.'
He completely omitted the part about their revealing argument. He didn't need to know about that.
'I don't understand why you're so attached to that boy. Please enlighten me.'
'I'm n-'
'Spare me that. You can't persuade me you aren't.'
'I don't know any more than you do. You know how I find people exhausting to be with after too long?'
'Yes.'
'I don't get that with him. He hasn't bored me once.'
'You really like him, don't you?'
'No,' he ducked his head before his blush could give him away. 'I just find him interesting. It's not often I find somebody I don't end up hating.'
'How sweet- my little brother is finally making friends,' Archer taunted.
'I'm older than you.'
'I didn't mean younger, and you know it. You and Eren would never work anyway- he's what, 5"8?'
'I can't believe you are being rude about my height. I assure you, I make up for it in other areas.'
'Does he know that?' Archer didn't get the chance to tease him any further because he received a kick right in the face.
'Bastard,' he chuckled, wiping blood from his nose. 'What are you doing up, anyway? You have school in less than an hour and you haven't slept at all.'
'Figured I wouldn't be able to sleep.' He was still in quite a bit of pain, although the wound itself had nearly healed. His insides were probably still trying to piece themselves together again. His brother did have a point though- he needed to get ready. The prospect of seeing Eren again filled him with a little more excitement than was probably healthy if they were to maintain a 'friendship'. But when it came down to it, what friends kissed each other? Perhaps he could convince him that friendship wasn't all he needed? It wasn't that he wanted a relationship, he just enjoyed their time spent together doing non-platonic things far too much to give up on it. Operation 'tease the fuck out of Eren' was go. He did love his games, after all, and this was about to be the most rewarding and ultimately satisfying game he'd played in a long time. He didn't know at that moment just how much his playing would later affect him.