Bellamy Blake Imagines

Wishful Thinking XXI

I could still feel the warmth of his hands caressing my body. The burn of tree bark scraping against my back in our frenzied race. Where his lips had attached to my neck and left a feverish path nipping across my exposed skin. Ghosts of his fingers digging into my hips steadying the tempo. I could feel him all over me, and I hated it.

His speckled face haunted me. Those deep, dark, brooding eyes that had captured my soul without my knowledge. Sculpted like Adonis with wits and determination that matched his looks. Bellamy Blake was many things: a leader, a brother, a warrior, a lover, but he will never be mine. Not in the way that I wanted him. Our agreement was simple. If we needed an itch scratched we had each other covered. Physical need, nothing more, nothing less. At least it was supposed to be that way.

Time passed and I found myself needing more than the physical. I wanted to lay in his arms and talk about everything. Tell him how much I loved his courage. How it made me swell with pride to see him lead the camp with Clarke. That he was a great brother; protecting Octavia with all he has, and that his mother would be so proud. So much I could never say because we would never be more than a thing of convenience.

Crawling out of bed I haphazardly threw on a tank and shorts. Taking a deep breath I felt the trail of salt water fall off my cheeks onto my shirt. With a broken laugh I rubbed them away reminding myself that I had to do this. No matter how much it hurt, I wanted more, needed more.

Relief hit me when I was greeted to the fresh morning air. Bellamy was nowhere to be seen. The longer I could postpone this the better. Throwing on the best smile I could muster I headed for the dropship hoping that no one would bring up my puffy reddened eyes.

Raven gave me a smile as I entered the tent, "Morning, Y/N . Ready to get lost in the world of broken technology?"

With a sigh I gave a nod, "Might as well be. Better than being stuck with some of the other shitheads."

Her jaw went slack in mock shock as her hand moved over her heart before letting out a laugh, "You wound me Y/N !"

Unable to contain the small smile that spread across my features I settled on rolling my eyes before grabbing my tools and immersing myself in our latest project.

"Alright, I'm done, we need a break. Come on.", I jumped in my chair as Raven's voice broke through the sound of power tools absent minded chatter. Her light chuckle as we exited the tent had me shaking my head in reflex. We walked through the camp talking about nonsensical issues never once bringing up the issue we both knew needed to be dealt with. Moments like these are why Raven had quickly become my confidant.

My mind drifted back to Bellamy eventually. He had invaded the very chemical bases of my being. The burning in the back of my eyes threatened to betray this facade. Pressing the palms of my hands into the soreness of my eyelids I laughed weakly.