I returned to school three weeks after the incident. With nobody to talk to, I felt just like before, isolated and unwanted. I walked to my locker, opening it up and awaiting for a cute note to fall out, but there wasn't one. Those notes were gone and so was Calum. I needed to get those two boys out of my life, I was stressing myself out by constantly thinking about them. As I slowly walked to Calculus, the class that started this all, I received looks from everyone as I walked in, hearing murmurs and receiving glares.
"She almost killed Luke. Stupid bitch."
"I almost killed Luke? That's funny because, from what I remembered, I wasn't the one driving." I snapped.
Surprised by my outburst, her eyes went wide, and a finger flew up, and I looked at my teacher for comfort. He quickly glanced at me then looked back at his computer. The bell rang and I quickly sat in my seat, pulling out my books and staring down blankly at them.
"Okay class, as we all know we're in the absence of two students, so if you can send out prayers to them, that would be great." He coughed. "Today's a slow day, there isn't much to learn. Finals are next week, so we're just reviewing."
He began to pass out worksheets, everybody started talking as he attempted to quiet them down once again.
"Hey Chels." I heard someone say behind me as they tapped my back. I turned around and was greeted by Michael, he waved his hand and smiled, surprising me with his kindness.
"Hi."
"I'm sorry for everything you've been going through. I know it wasn't your fault."
"Thanks Michael." I murmured, pulling out a pencil and tapping it on my desk. "Have you gone to see them?"
"I saw Luke, not Calum. He was sleeping."
I shook my head and attempted to focus on the equations we were told to solve, but it was hard when all I really wanted to do was break down and cry. The next hour felt like I was trapped in a cage with nobody to talk to, because quite frankly, that's how it was. The only 'hello' I received was from Michael, and other than that I just got dirty looks, and scoffs.
As the bell rang, I made my way to my locker, attempting to avoid everybody since it was now lunch break. The idea of going to visit Calum and Luke wandered in my mind but I attempted to forget the bothering thought. I grabbed my phone, scrolling through my old texts with Luke, wishing he and I didn't have our argument that resulted in such a tragedy.
After what seemed to be the longest school day of my life, I went to visit Calum at the hospital. Being in the same building as Luke, knowing he didn't want to see me, truly did kill me. As much as I wanted to just run to his room instead of Calum's, I know I couldn't, --- because he simply just didn't love me anymore. And it may not exactly be that, he could still love me, he was just too upset and stubborn to show it. I mean, for me personally, there's no way I can forget about everything that happened between Luke and I. I may not have been his first love, but he was certainly mine. I had fake love for Calum, even though I was thoroughly convinced it was true love, I realize now that it wasn't. He was just the only person that was there for me. And as of now, I'm trying to return the favor to him, no matter how hard it was for me to do.
"Chelsea?" I heard someone say in a weak voice as I looked down on my phone, making my way to Calum's room.
"Luke?" I asked, surprised he had even acknowledged me.
"What are you doing here?"
"Since when are you walking again?"
"Since yesterday actually. They want me to do four laps around this floor per day actually. I didn't think you'd come back so soon."
"Well." I said sarcastically. "I'm actually here to see Calum. Not you."
"Wow, someone still moves on quick."
"You can't possibly be upset at me for going to see him. You broke up with me. There's no changing history just to make you sound like the victim."
"Of course Chelsea. Because you're always the victim. It always has to be you, it can never be anybody else. So now look at your pathetic self. Saying I broke up with you, we all know it was you who said it was too hard, because you think I killed Calum. Well you know what, if you were a good enough 'friend' to him, you would've known that he actually woke up three days ago. But no, you refused to come here for a week because you wanted to be petty."
I scoffed and looked at him, rolling my eyes and brushing past him, making my way to Calum's room, the only reason why I came here.
"Excuse me ma'am, he's asleep."
"That's fine, he knows who I am, I'll just sit there quietly until he wakes up."
"Are you family?"
"Well no, but close enough."
"I can't let you in."
"Sir, seriously, I've been having a pretty crappy day, and the last thing I need is to not be able to see him, because he is the only reason I haven't completely lost it, so you need to let me into his room regardless of your stupid hospital rules."
I looked at the man with tears in my eyes, practically shaking, and pretty close to breaking down. He angrily looked at me and directed me towards the waiting room with his hand, and I followed since I refused to be kicked out of the hospital without seeing Calum. About an hour later, a lady came to get me, informing me that Calum had woken up. I stood up, and followed her, attempting to regroup myself since this would be the first time I had talked to Calum in about a month, and I simply just smiled, knowing that a smile would be the first thing Calum wanted to see from me.
"Calum." I said softly, going over to his bedside, and placing my hand in his overgrown curls. "Oh god I missed you." I sobbed into my own hands, looking at him stare blankly into the hallway. "Calum please say something. Please don't hate me. Whatever you've been told please do not put all of that blame onto me."
"You broke up with him?"
"Yes Calum, I did, I did break up with him, and I did it for you."
"Why?"
"Calum, don't act dumb. You know me better than anybody else. If you guess, I bet you could figure out the reason why."
"Because of me?"
I shook my head yes, smiling like a complete idiot.
"Calum, what he did to you was not okay. It would never be okay, especially to me. You are so important to me, and seeing you lifeless for three weeks killed me."
"Why'd you stop coming to visit? He told me after a while, you just stopped and didn't come back."
"Well I wanted to avoid him. I didn't want to see him after all of that."
"But you couldn't just make your way to see me?"
"I'm sorry." I cried. I didn't know how else to say it. I was genuinely sorry for putting him in a terrible position, but I just couldn't gather myself to come and see him, and know Luke was here, angry with me, and wanting to never see me again.
"I just don't understand why."
*********
lol so hey. I haven't been writing, and I'm sorry for that, but guess whatttttt my creative flow has come back to me and I'm about to release another story so keep on the look out for that. I love you guys, and Happy Holidays :)
GUYYYYYYYYYS SOOOO THIS WAS PUBLISHED IN 2016,,,,,,,, ITS CURRENTLY 2018 AND IM BACK SORRY IF ITS TOO LATE, BUT IM POSTING WHAT WAS LEFT DRAFTED AND THEN IM GOING TO CONTINUE WRITING AND EVENTUALLY EDIT ALL THE PARTS TO MAKE THEM BETTER I AM SO SORRY.
