Because she made me believe (ZAYN MALIK)

PillowTalk- VIII

Dedicated to MaggieMaria_

** A big shout out to FrancescaPoffio , @kajollohar__1d, @Kelly_J93 , kkimberlyl , @KindHot_1d   @xox_sam_12 ,

@dragon20120  @NadrahMiyagul @architasinha2000

@Zayns_zaby  SparkleWithZayn _Mrs_Dallas_Malik_ ..... Thank you for voting and commenting on the story ....You support means a lot.....

I know I am the worst person coz I just disappeared and an apology will not fix it....but if I still do have readers left...and if you are still reading....I Will Complete This Story.... It's difficult to write when your mind is swamped with things but I was feeling soo soo guilty for just leaving it like that...

I hope you like this chapter there will be two more in the Pillow Talk series and then we will move further....

I love you guys honestly xoxo***

Allana's POV

With every tear I shed , sadness clouds his eyes , deep sighs escaping his lips as he is unable to control my abrupt breakdown. It is not a hidden fact that Zayn loathes it when I cry and for him to be the reason behind my teary state , I cannot comprehend how much he must be despising himself for sharing the demons of his past with me.

I am unable to look at him in the eye , because I am certain he will see sympathy evident in my orbs for his heart wrenching childhood. Knowing Zayn , it didn't take me twice to guess that I am the first person he has decided to pour his out his heart, he has always refrained from sharing it with anybody else as he hates people unnecessarily pitying him. He is aware that even after hearing his story they wouldn't feel an inch of his agony , maybe that's why he has kept his secrets locked within. However unlike others , I can feel his sorrow , understand the confusing thoughts of a young boy who tried to fight against the hypocrisy and darkness of this grey world.

I may not be able to entirely relate to his woeful experience of growing up but I can very well understand the way he felt when he was unable to help his parents. He must've felt worthless , that horrid emotion alone makes you question your existence. That's exactly how I felt when my futile attempts were unable to mend my parents broken relationship. I tried hard every time only to fall back harder and it made me question myself with my conscience sometimes mocking me to be a waste of space who was good for nothing. A stupid little girl who could not even bring her parents back together.

I have lived with that guilt for almost seven years, on the outside I seemed whole but on the inside I was shattered. Too broken to be healed yet the irony is that the wistful hazel eyed boy sitting across the table has helped me to realize that some things are beyond our control. We do not hold the liability and power to set them perfect, neither should we burden ourselves with regret for not being able to do so. Zayn has helped me heal , making me feel rejuvenated , replacing my sorrow with happiness.

I wish to do the same for him. I wish to be a pillar of strength for him although bawling my eyes out when he has barely started sharing his worries is not a great start from my end. I realize there is a huge void in his heart which will take a long time to fill. It may be years before he is entirely healed, but he needs to learn to deal with his tornado of emotions and memories whirling within him from ages. I just don't want him to berate and hurt himself more.