Because she made me believe (ZAYN MALIK)

Truth - II

Dedicated to  dragon20120

Author's Note:

Thank you for all the love . You guys rock. So I am wondering nobody said anything about Zayn wanting to leave...... Anyway enjoy the new one and please do comment. Also we completed 100k reads so yayyyyyyy !!!! and once again thank you guys. xo

Zayn's POV

It is easy for us to have thousands of interpretations for a few spoken words; the most difficult task is to adequately interpret silence. Not a word spoken yet the unspoken conveys much more than expected. I did not expect Allana to be extensively loquacious towards my heavily expressed thought although I did expect some sort of reply verbally. Instead all I get is a tightening hold on my body and a few kisses peppered down my neck.

Did she even hear me ?

"Babe I don't think you clearly heard what I just said." I state apprehensively.

"Look at me Zayn." She says in monotone , heightening my anxiousness and increasing my inability to decipher her reaction.

Her hands drop from my body as I turn around , eventually staring back into her black eyes which I have been keenly avoiding for some time. We sit across each other her knees brushing mine , an ecstatic twinkle gleaming in her eyes. Taking both my hands into hers  , she kisses my forehead , her face beaming with joy.

"If this is what will make you happy then you need to go ahead with it." She tells me placidly and I feel a huge weight being lifted off my shoulders.

" Are you not infuriated with my decision ? Leaving the band at its peak, you think it's a wise choice?" I ask , curious to know her thoughts.

" A wise man makes his own decisions. An ignorant fool follows public opinion.  I am not infuriated by your decision baby. It would be foolish of me to be disappointed with  you for  making choices which give you happiness." She says with a smile making me break into a grin as well.

Further she adds, " I am not going to sugarcoat things for you either. The stakes are quite high when you leave the band Zayn . The media , your fans , the management nobody is going to be pleased . The press will condemn you , the fans will question your loyalty , it will be chaotic. There will be dark clouds glooming on your solo career and there will be immense pressure whether you will be able to crack as a solo artist or not. But if this is what you want , if this what will make you feel happy and free and if you think the risk is worth every cruelty you will be subjected to after your departure from One Direction then by all means go ahead."

" I want this . Honestly I need this." I say my voice louder than usual. "Don't misconstrue my gratefulness towards the band but the more I stay back , the further I am going away from my  happiness , my sanity. Today Kaitlyn's harsh words have fuelled my desire to escape. I have always been her favourite scapegoat. Th brown Muslim boy , too quiet to create an impact so what better to do with him than weave controversies around him . That will get great PR for the band." I say mockingly.

"She said that the band doesn't need me , I need the band , the management to survive in this industry . Otherwise I am simply another brown boy trying to create an identity and failing miserably. Sometimes I feel that I will never be able to flee from the underlying truth of Fredrick's mothers words. Maybe my kind is just meant for mediocre jobs , perhaps I should try my hand at scrubbing toilets."

This rueful thought wanders through my mind more than I would like to admit. It is rightly said that even if the wound heals , the scar  never lets you forget the pain.